And on the ninth day...
God spilled some coffee on an angry possum and God made a Liberal.
God said I need someone to get up at the crack of noon
and check their facebook and tweet vile things, take a nap,
borrow money from their parents, drinking paps ironically
and snorting bath salts -- and whine until midnight.
So God made a Liberal.
--------------------
He said I need a person who can take a thriving community
and turn it into a debt-ridden, post-apocalyptic, welfare state.
I need someone who thinks meat is murder, produce is raised
in grocery isles, who can't fix a flat tire, or change their own oil...
And who when forced to finally get a job as a barista makes you
wait for your latte while they play angry birds on their iphone
and takes his union-mandated, two-hour break.
So God made a Liberal.
------------------------
God said, I need somebody dumb enough to believe
in global warming and deficit spending, yet arrogant enough
to look down on hard-working folk 'cause they don't have a worthless
PhD in 17th century Belgian-lesbian studies.
It had to be someone that would tax and spend, sue and attack, flip
and flop and legislate from the bench, and pass an unread bill.
A person that would take a story of American success and turn it
into a lesson of injustice.
So God made a Liberal.
----------------------------------
It had to be someone who would lie to themselves and others, and envy the successful.
Someone to whine, cry, demand, screech and scream:
Sexist, intolerant, xenophobic, homophobic, islamophobic, racist, bigot.
It had to be someone that at the end of the day, they could go home after
helping rip apart a country with divisive race and class war, and who would
laugh, and then sigh with mocking eyes thinking,
If I hadn't aborted all my children,
they'd probably say they want to spend their life doing what dad does.
So God made a Liberal.
its not. but no worries new edition is coming out soon.
