=D Shall I email it to you?
Yes please ^^,
I started reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer to my kids last night (because The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is apparently an adult version).
Once I was done with chapter 1, the kids were all looking at me with these tired, confused expressions and the conversation we had kinda went along these lines:
In short, all that happens in this chapter is an old lady talking to herself and screaming at Tom, and Tom running off to go get into a fight with another boy whom he then beats up, and then stalks home and harasses until the boy's mum comes to tell Tom to get lost. This, my dear children, is an example of a character who is trying too hard to be a badass and failing at it - No, my boy, this isn't the Tom we know, this one is made up - and it is also an example of a pretentious writer. Old school, but pretentious. What does pretentious mean? I'm sorry baby, that means he's trying very hard to sound clever with all those big words he chucked in there. I'm sure he doesn't speak that way in real life so he shouldn't write that way either. What if he does speak that way? Well honey I don't think anybody would want to hold a conversation with him then, and he's probably a lot like the old lady in the beginning who was talking to herself. Yes, love, Nana does talk to herself, but she's been dubbed the crazy lady a decade ago so it's acceptable and appropriate. Yes, and not pretentious, love, you got it. Well honestly it looks like the whole book is probably just going to be about trying to make Tom look cool for doing naughty things, so it's just as well you didn't understand half of what was happening in the first chapter anyway. Being naughty is not cool, because being naughty is being stupid when you know the rules, right?
My kids agreed. I'm not even going to bother scanning the Huck book for inappropriate scenes. I know it's a classic from way back when in our time but nah. Doesn't apply to this generation. I mean who's kids actually spend all their free time out in the bush and out in town on their own, especially at the ages of 7 and 9, nowadays? Like. No. These books are going back this weekend, finito.