What Are You Thinking?

[Rebel Dynasty]

Probably the nicest surprise I've gotten in a while: Come back from taking the dog to the park not only to my husband home early from work, but to see he'd done all the cleaning up I was going to do upon returning. And put up the tree. Looks like we'll be decorating it this weekend. ^^

+Christmas is always super bittersweet for me. I don't think I'll ever love it the way I did before the age of 7, but if I can recapture just a little bit of that feeling, that'd be enough.

++So...much...audio. x_x

 

[therogis]

We were making some DIY presents for Christmas and HOLY CRAP it was FUN

"Started making Christmas gifts and ended up with a miniature hydrogen bomb" is a statement that you can use only if your spouse is a PhD in chemistry...

 

[therogis]

Being able to say "I did well, I'm proud of myself" just began to have more meaning than it ever did.
It's a big thing for a person who has been fighting with extremely low self-esteem for years, even to the point where death felt like the only justifiable outcome for an invalid creature like me.

Maybe the therapist was right after all telling me I should be proud of myself, for making my way here despite all that crap.

Or maybe I'm just being silly... but at least it feels good to be silly

 

[V's patron]

I was curious about "Haven".

I didn't realize it was made by the same people who made "Furi".

That's some range.

 

[ReaperHunter]

^ Oh that's interesting. I'd been hearing about Haven here and there but have yet to look up anything about it yet.
I dabbled with Furi, but never beat it. Still thought what I played of it was really cool.

 

[therogis]

My reaction when the first thing I see after waking up this morning is a message informing me I'm getting set up publicly for something (apparently because made-up drama is an effective remedy for boredom)

I'm glad though that we have an agreement about it. It's called "Not a single sane and grown up person cares, now how are we going to proceed with this New Years party?"

Love these guys. <3 For a while I was worried about the tone of the message, but I figured it's not me they're mad at. Justice done here months ago, now going to do some studying. This crap just doesn't deserve any further attention from me.

 

[BrawlMan]

Yep.​

 

[V's patron]

they still got it.

 

[therogis]

Related to my previous post. I'm too lazy to use quote

For a while I thought I'm not being stalked online anymore, because hey, why would someone just keep breathing on my neck for months when we are not in contact, and when they most likely wouldn't even recognize me anymore if they saw me.

But well, I guess it's the only reasonable explanation when someone told me "she must have seen you mentioning burn out, so she saw a chance to kick you when you're down."

I should not be surprised. Last time she did this, it was just a couple of weeks after I got back home from hospital after intensive trauma flashbacks. My flashbacks includes the feeling of my mother being near me 24/7, watching everything I do, and that I can never get rid of her because she lives inside my head, so this one figured it's the most effective weapon against me to tell me I'm like her while I'm still in a sick leave.

So I don't know if she stalks my posts here or on another forum, but FYI, I don't care, makes no difference and has no effect on my actions anywhere.
Also, threatening me with court proceedings has never been a threat for me because no crime has been committed (by me). One word: consent.

I've decided months ago I'm gonna live my life like this stalker doesn't even exist anymore. Yeah, I've been talking about this stuff for some people, including my therapist, because those actions were equally traumatizing with my mother's actions. The person doesn't even exist for me, but their actions do, and hell yeah I can and I SHOULD heal from the traumas of being a victim of narcissism and keep talking through everything that affects to it.

Why am I even writing this? I don't know. Probably I'll just continue like I always did despite that it looks like my words are being watched here and that a stalker is looking for any opportunity to traumatize me even more. (Never gonna succeed in that tho, they don't have my phone number or home address or practically anything to have my attention with against my will.)

Good thing is I'm still feeling good and writing this one with a poker face. And good thing that my therapist has been coaching me against my mother's narcissism. Seems kinda same stuff IMO.

 

[Shadow]

The fact that I have thought it's bs when the villain doesn't win in a kid's movie since I, myself, was allegedly a child is both alarming and a comfortable cornerstone of my personality, I think.

 

[Foxtrot94]

Imagine trying to make this scene today.

 

[therogis]

Got my Swedish final grades and it's 4 for both oral and written skills. On a scale 1-5.

Take that, the first-year Swedish teacher who told me at the beginning of my freshman year that I'm probably never gonna graduate because I didn't go to high school and thus I'll never be fluent enough to pass university-level Swedish courses.

+ A friend found my favourite tea in the local market hall and messaged me! I thought it's no longer available in my city
++ Cyberpunk 2077 is for sale now waiting for discounts!

I think I'm gonna cuddle up to the corner of our living room sofa with an oversized sweater, wool socks, a cup of tea and a book. Or maybe just fall asleep. Feeling soft, cuddly and a bit silly right now

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

Not too far into it yet, but Cyberpunk 2077 is so good... I mean, I'm **** at the whole shooter aspect, but this game makes me want to get better at it. And the world is so immersive!

 

[Goldsickle]

- YouTube randomly recommends a video of a cute cat.

- You notice that the recommended video is actually about 5 years old.

- Based on the comments, the cat in the video is already dead.

- ;__;

 

[therogis]

Writing theses conclusions would be damn funny if it didn't undermine my faith in society and human kind...

I mean, if you write in a public, official strategy something like "We evaluate our procurement actions carefully with measures introduced in our Evaluation Manual", I'd really expect you to actually introduce those evaluating measures in the said Evaluation Manual.

In this case, they're not even mentioned. In fact, searching for word "procur*" in that manual gives 0 hits.

Lol.

 

[Sparda's rejected son]

Persona 5 Scramble (now called Persona 5 Strikers) is coming to the west in February. Now I am feeling motivated! (Cue Vergil slamming fist into the ground and causing a explosion.) Love that sound effect by the way.
Come on Vergil dlc come out already!

 

[V's patron]

After all the Disney+ announcements all i can say is "Make mine marvel".

Sorry DC. The Batman still has my hype.

I'm mixed on the Cassian Andor prequel.

I pre-ordered Tenet via YouTube. Its one week away.

I once wrote 9 pages into a KH/DOA fanfic before realizing this should be an oc story.

Scarlet Nexus looks fun.

Jak and Daxter should get rebooted as an anime-esque hack and slash. Get on it Sony.

Seriously though Jak and Daxter are gonna need a new niche. Rachet and Clank does everything they do but was more consistently shown.

I'm loving Agents of SWORD. The mutant space program has a good future ahead of it.

 

[Sparda's rejected son]

Honest opinion here. I was never a big Vergil fan. Sure I thought he was cool but for me Dante and Nero were my "boys" if you will. Cue DMC5 SE and suddenly I think Vergil is the bees knees! He is so cool and I could watch high level players use him all day.
So I guess I am a Vergil fan now.

 

[therogis]

So it seems the set-up/false accusations just gave me inspiration and half a plot for a whole new novel... Just that I have already too many WIPs The idea is intriguing tho. Thinking about all the historical details I'd need to do research for gets me excited!!

I don't really know when am I gonna finish all these projects but well, at least the Second "Book" Issue is far behind.

Also I wonder if it'd be possible to write it in English and just to hire an editor to work with the grammar. Seen people doing that lately.

// And hey, now that I think about it, I've actually finished several short stories, so it's not about never getting anything done! Maybe the full-length manuscripts really serve as a fuel for my short stories instead of stand-alone works of art. *light bulb emoji here*

 

[Sparda's rejected son]

Super Godzilla for SNES has a good soundtrack and renders some classic G themes very well. Who knew the SNES sounded so good. (Grew up as a Sega Genesis boy so pitch forks down people!)