How do you figure yourself out?
I have an idea where you're coming from Sunny. I've always been more attracted to the company of boys when I was a kid (and then puberty hit and **** went crazy and I decided boys had to calm the f down and stop expecting me to dress up for them just because I'm a girl), and my time spent with girl friends throughout high school just taught me how much I'm NOT like the average, makeup loving, platform wearing, soft-spoken eye-lash batting girl (this after I was given 'a wardrobe make-over' by my friend who the boys flaunted over). I'll wash my face, brush my teeth and comb my hair, and would rather invite the neighbourhood boys over to play video games, do waterbomb contests in our pool and have go-kart races down the street, than sit in my friends' room listening to Spice Girls and yapping about one or the other 'cute' boy at school.
I do like to dress-up from time to time, but things like doing my nails? Yah nah. They don't last long (they either crack, peel, or in the case of fake nails, break off) because it's not my kinda lifestyle. I'm too rough with my hands. And when I do the whole soft floaty kind of dresses or skirts, it's usually a phase that lasts for maybe a week and then I'm over it.
I like Harley Davidsons more than perfumes and the latest fashion design trends. I hate jewelry and would rather be given something sweet to add to my car. I have an eye for beauty - if a guy is hot, I'm going to say as much, if he's not, well I'd rather just shut up about it, the same with women. If a woman is legitimately beautiful, I'd say as much. If not, well I'll only rag on her if hubby is checking her out. Like, no. Get better taste, twit. My childhood bff was lesbian, and before she came out about it, we had been attracted to the same kind of guys - honestly it was like we were of one mind. I still believe she was my soulmate, and my best friend now is as much a tomboy as I am.
And I like talking
oop:. Apparently this used to grate my girl friends to no end. I'd be chided for being annoying or trying to have inappropriate conversations that go nowhere. Completely acceptable in the company of the guys but lo and behold when I try to be myself around the girls.
This may have a lot to do with my home environment as I have two brothers, but I also have a lot of aunties and female cousins. It's like I kept telling my lesbo friend: it's NOT genetically encoded into you. Boys don't HAVE to like blue and girls don't HAVE to play with Barbies. It's a CHOICE. I tend to find the less masculine and more 'pretty-boyish' guys incredibly attractive. According to my friend, I'm 'one step away from going gay, just take the plunge'.
But you know yourself. Regardless of beliefs or what society says, in your gut you know yourself, you know what you like and don't like. I like pretty guys, and I like women who take care of themselves. Does that mean I want to date them? No. Does that mean I need to question my sexual preferences? Heck no. Just because society says 'if you're like
this, or if you have tendencies toward
that, then you are probably
like that', doesn't mean you have to believe them.
I'm quite satisfied with my status as a tomboy. Despite loathing all the complexities and agonies of being a female, I'm okay with being a female. It's just in mind, I'm more into the things that guys are into. So no, I don't kid when I say I sometimes feel like a dude trapped in a girls body.
Because seriously. What kind of dude would complain about
that.
I guess for some people it's trial and error to discover who they really are. Just don't let society dictate to you who you SHOULD be.
+Chancey I can totally vouch for you, too