@Loopy @Rebel Dynasty I'm like that too, the girl friends I do have are the tomboy/adventurous type. I can't stand the drama that the girly girls make a part of their identity. They're just a bunch of b....anyhooooo.
Yep, same here. I mostly have male friends. The female ones are more on the tomboyish side. I don't like the fakeness, shopping trips and nail salons that come with stereotypical ladies. :tongue:
The problem with working mums is that often the main breadwinner is the dad. He earns more, plain and simple. It has to be an anti-societal dynamic for dad to stay home/take off work, because he needs to be able to actually do it by himself, too. Behind closed doors, a lot of men freak at the thought of not having mum there to pass the kids onto when they get out of hand. Unless of course this was the way things always happen in the family.
I can only speak from how I was raised, but my parents earned about the same and could afford for one of them not not work again. But both of my parents like what they do so they both work.
Having said that, my Dad tells me that staying at home with me when I was little meant more to him than any achievement he has ever done at work, which is saying a lot really. Maybe my Dad is some kind of rare species.:tongue:
So don't judge mums who choose to stay home too harsh. Trust me, they are not picking the easy way out. No money of your own, wholly reliant on the husband to pay for everything, and the fear of him either walking out, dying early or being made redundant is a heavy one to bear. Family less husband equals deep, deep poo (the figurative type, ontop of the already literal type).
The only Mums I am critical about are the ones who either abuse their children, or have children for the sake of not working. The sort who don't want children, but have them anyway and then hire a nanny and house help to do all the work. That is not being a mother at all. Same goes for a man who does the same.
I agree that it is a huge risk in being the at home parent. Like you say, spousal death, illness, divorce, abuse or cheating could happen and the partner at home wouldn't be able to do much about it because they have no money to move out and provide for the children alone. That's why I think it's important for the stay at home parent to work part time when the children are old enough in case of an emergency where the working parent can't or won't provide money for whatever reason.
It's hard to form any genuine relationship when the effort is onesided. My parents working full time for the first seven years of my life ruined our family, so I'm not all up in the air when a mother decides to quit her job to raise her kids (same for dads too, but I have yet to meet a couple who actually live that dynamic).
I wouldn't say I'm up in the air if a parents quits the job to raise children so long as they really know what they are getting into without regrets and know the possible pitfalls of what could happen. The thing that sticks in my head the most are affairs and the man walking away with a younger woman. I've seen it happen back home, and my friends and I have been in the awful position of having married men with children try to flirt with us and ask for dates.
I guess that's why I've always been adverse to getting forced into a full time job. None of the jobs I ever held were 'normal' work hours. The first two I worked over weekends, which meant quality time for dad and bubs, but none for me and him. Third job was contract and I did it from home. Fourth job was from 6pm - 2am. Fifth job was babysitting where I could bring my own kids along. Last and current job only has me working 16 hours a week, every day, while the kids are at school/kindy.
The thing is that I don't have to work. We don't need the extra cash, we're fairly well off. It's more for my sense of independence, than anything else. I absolutely loathe asking for money to get things done.
Do what is best for you, that's the best thing to do. Go to say, that sure sounds like some varied job working hours. I'm not sure I could do 6pm till 2 am. 7 am till till 4 is more my thing:wink:
And I totally agree with wanting independence. I'm used to earning money, I can rely on myself and my job is really rewarding to me so I'm not working just for the money.
I'd feel really worthless if I had to ask a husband for money. It'd be like asking parents for pocket money in my eyes. I guess that's a bit out there, but that's how I'd feel if I did that.
I just don't think I could live like that. I come from a family where the women could easily stay at home, hire some house help and do nothing, but we work because we want to be known as more than wives and mothers and we want to be dependent. I guess we're also lucky that the men in our family support that choice and are proud that their wives, sisters and daughters are highly educated and successful and can contribute to the family in many ways.
