The ranting thinking thread

[Carlos]

It's one of the very rare times I have found myself agreeing with Boris - we shouldn't set about erasing history. It's where we have come from, it's how we learn and it makes a nation what it is now, giving it perspective and drive to be better. Absolutely, some things need sorting as a result of history...but to cancel anything and anyone who even remotely offends in the slightest way is just as bad, in my opinion.

There was an article on the bbc written by a black woman concerning her great grandfather who was a slave trader. But it's ok because he was African and it was a source of income and pride and he was a great man. I just didn't get it.

And some woman is rewriting the lyrics to Jerusalem? Why? There's absolutely nothing wrong with them - it is literally a song of 4 questions wondering whether Jesus came to England for a bit. If anyone should be "offended", it's Christians. But guess what? We don't care!

Tell you what, let's all ban anything made in Germany as a result of Hitler's influence, refuse to drink tea, coffee, eat potatoes, tomatoes, use spices, herbs, no sugar, don't wear certain fabrics, destroy boats (they have links to the slave trade, dontcha know?), get rid of governments (historically lots were slave owners), ban entertainment (some entertainers owned slaves), don't use trains (the railroads were built by slaves in some areas) and no schooling - slaves helped to build some of those institutions so it's not allowed.

Oh, and blow up Australia because it was used as a penal colony once upon a time and we can't be having that.

The whole thing has gotten wildly out of hand...

We have something similar here. Instead, now they want to take down historical statues including Abe Lincoln, because slave trades. Blows my mind.

Ok, so he was a ****ing slave trader, your ****ing point? Oh, you want to take down the statues? What will that accomplish? Why remove history? I would be empathic if maybe Hitler was historical, and not this mass murderer, who defined a century by his communist rule.

 

[therogis]

I don't like apologizing when I feel like I have no reason to. If you're interpreting appropriate communication between two adults as an apology, it doesn't only strengthen my stance and make me feel like I'm so high above you that you can't even see me anymore: it also confirms that I'm smarter, more reasonable, stronger, and (hell yeah I mean this literally) in many other ways better than you.

Just think about that while I'll change to my running gear and get on the track. Fun fact: When I feel like I can't breathe, when I feel like I have to slow down, I'm imagining you ahead of me and thinking about chasing you. That's how I break my own records

 

[Shadow]

"Why would you want to eat more than one meal a day?" Because I deal with disordered eating (I forget to eat when I'm busy and rarely have an appetite) and am severely malnourished and my body thinking it's constantly being starved is why I have so many problems with my weight and health. All of which you know and don't believe. Next stupid f*cking question.

 

[Carlos]

I hate it whenever my family doesn't listen. For the most part, I'm healthy. I feel ok, but my brother complained to my mother about my breathing. Since I was 17 Years old, I changed my breathing patterns. I don't always breathe from my mouth. I breathe from the nose. So, as I got older, I don't sleep like a typical person. I breathe from time to time. Because I learned to breathe from the nose earlier. But nooo, all of a sudden he's interested in my breathing patterns because my cousin has a snoring issue. I was sort of snoring sometimes, but not always. I'm in a deep sleep most of the time, so my body reacts differently under different occasions or circumstances. Now all of a sudden I have to drink 5 different pills, ok fine. I have to use an inhaler, fine. (I have asthma. It's genetic.) Now the doctor wants me to go to this sleep place, I go. But I'm on this machine that makes my sleep uncomfortable. I told my mother I was not comfortable, she says that's the last time we go. We get another phone call, same place, this time I'm on the machine with bane-style mask for testing. Uncomfortable again, this time.. I can't sleep. Not for hours. Finally I go to sleep, but I'm numb. I'm already ****ed off. I said I was ****ing uncomfortable! Ok, I calm down. We get a call from them again, this time they recommend I go on a this machine with mask. I'm ****ed off again. Then we're home. I'm trying for 5 minutes calm down, chill, here goes my mother with more medicine. UGHGH. What the ****!?

I'm ok with a little medicine, but this is TOO MUCH at once. And too much to keep up with, too much information into my head. Its just adding more and more stress to my life. Fuuck. Man. I don't need more stress, it's the very ****ing thing that asthma folks need to avoid.

Jesus. Lord!

 

[Foxtrot94]

Because I deal with disordered eating (I forget to eat when I'm busy and rarely have an appetite) and am severely malnourished and my body thinking it's constantly being starved is why I have so many problems with my weight and health.

I mean, even without all that, more than one meal a day is the standard. Has this person never heard of breakfast, lunch and dinner?

 

[Shadow]

I mean, even without all that, more than one meal a day is the standard. Has this person never heard of breakfast, lunch and dinner?

She has, but she's really into dieting (to the point where she forced her daughter to diet the entire time she was growing up) and thinks that eating the bare minimum of food a day (very much below recommended dietary requirements) is healthy and not going to result in malnourishment. She cares more about being thin than anything else.

 

[Foxtrot94]

She has, but she's really into dieting (to the point where she forced her daughter to diet the entire time she was growing up) and thinks that eating the bare minimum of food a day (very much below recommended dietary requirements) is healthy and not going to result in malnourishment. She cares more about being thin than anything else.

Fukin'ell.

 

[therogis]

She has, but she's really into dieting (to the point where she forced her daughter to diet the entire time she was growing up) and thinks that eating the bare minimum of food a day (very much below recommended dietary requirements) is healthy and not going to result in malnourishment. She cares more about being thin than anything else.

How I hate people who force their health insights down everyone else's throats even when no one asked for them. The same problem can be seen in @Carlos 's post as well, at least to some extent, I guess?

I just came back from the dojo. During our exercises, I was paired with a guy who really didn't care much about that we were practicing TECHNIQUE and FOOT WORK, and definitely not FIGHTING against each other! We were supposed to have a sort of three-part maneuver, first taking control of the opponent, then destabilizing them and finally pushing them to the mattress and making their further movement impossible.
Well, my partner was amused when I lost my balance on a very early stage of his maneuvers – I was often lying the floor after one step of destabilization, sometimes even when he was just taking control over me, simply because he yanked my arm so hard I couldn't stay on my feet if I wanted to prevent him dislocating my elbow. And when I frequently lost my balance when I wasn't supposed to lose it, I often landed on my hand, wrist or side, unable to take care of my landing techniques, which was already quite a risky way to practise anything; let alone that he was really hurting me with his maneuvers. Also, he used a lot of force against me when I tried to practise my own maneuvers towards him. He tried to keep my hands forcefully down, rendering any technical adjustment of my own footwork and techniques pretty impossible.
Even the teacher himself saw the situation and came to tell him not to use that kind of force towards his uke. No use. Every exercise with him resulted in me wincing out of pain. The last time he pressed me on the floor I even slapped the tatami a couple of times, telling him to let go because it HURTS, and what did this jerk do? Twisted my arm a bit more for a couple of seconds. Yup, I heard a sweet crunch out of my wrist.

So now my both elbows and in particular my right wrist are swollen and aching. I wouldn't be mad at this guy if he had at least tried to listen to the sensei and practice as we were told, for the sake of everyone's safety, but he didn't listen to any instructions. I mean, yeah it was a voluntary choice from me to go to the dojo knowing that there's gonna be contact defense practices, but if the sensei tells you not to use force then you do not use force for ****'s sake

 

[Goldsickle]

Walking into a store full of people who don't know where their products are placed or if they even are carrying what you ask for is such an infuriating, frustrating experience.

 

[therogis]

Quite a while ago I mentioned a paranoid, perhaps even psychotic person around me. So it's about that despite that it still should be none of my business.

I haven't been able to get any hints about their condition for a while, despite that I have seen them in person a couple of times, so I realized I'm constantly analyzing the behaviour around the vulnerable people around them. It's a very self-destructive and useless way to try to protect them, but I can't help it. It's just getting a bit too personal now so I feel like I should be the one to solve this. Their actions are not directed to me personally, but the situation reminds me about stuff I don't wish anyone to get involved in their early life as I got.

If only there was a way to get the authorities to take their state seriously... I'm afraid of the impact for those people around them. Afraid of their lack of smile. And I'm not much of a help in that.

It would've been better if I was never informed about this in the first place. I guess they still don't even know I'm aware of this.

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

It never ceases to disappoint me that because someone has committed certain wrongs in their life, people always assume they've done/are capable of doing worse. Yes, he has a checkered past, yes he's done some less-than-stellar things... That doesn't mean he's done what you think he's done. Everyone has a line they won't cross. Considering he got out of that life early on, I think it's fair to assume he wasn't cut out for it. Like ****, why can't people turn their lives around for the better without people assuming the worst and on top of it, assuming their speculations=fact?

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

(Sorry for the double-post. This is considerably more personal than the previous one).

Spoiler: Personal, Read at Own Risk

The problem with expecting the worst but hoping for the best is, I actually entertained the latter. Because of course, after building it up in my head for 22 years, it would go precisely that way.

I'm too old for "daddy issues", but ****...did it ever hurt, having him deny our shared blood. All I wanted was a chance to talk to him, to get to know him if only from a distance, before the inevitable happens. **** closure; I should've left that door closed. Even if it hurt, it didn't feel like this.

 

[BrawlMan]

This the bullshit I am talking about when it comes to certain YouTubers.

Congragu-****in-lations Score PN, you just became another egotistical loud mouth that thinks your God's gift to mankind. You don't like RE8, fair enough. But don't go around attacking or accusing other RE fans/YT channels for being sell outs just for having interests or being excited for a new game. I hate the stereotypical "not a true fan" or "mindless sheep" fallacy bullshit you're trying to pull. The reason no other RE fans brought up the RE Netflix film is because everyone knows it's going to be a million piles of dog turds, and not worth mentioning. Despite claiming otherwise, you are hypocrite getting on his personal soap box, because people are interested in something you don't like. Not that any of the other YouTubers would give you the time of day; especially Omega Sphere. She's a cool gal that likes to have fun, but knows respect others. I am not going to support or watch your other content if this is how you are going to act. Crying and whining like a spoiled child for people thinking different from you. **** you, you had your chance! I am just glad people in the comment section are calling him out on his b#tch fit.

 

[therogis]

We had a group assignment on a course lately, and we chose to conduct our assignment via a mock debate. It was all planned beforehand. I was on the contra-side and a guy I've already got pretty negative first impressions was on the pro-side.

Well... Despite that our debate was supposed to be entirely planned, manuscripted, the guy just drew some totally new arguments out of nowhere. My partner on the contra-side paniced, and it was just mere luck for me that I knew something about his claims due to my previous studies. So I was the one to take on him... at least I tried to, because he constantly interrupted me, clinging to my words in a middle of a sentence. To every interruption, I went silent and let him go through his rant and asked "Are you done yet, can I continue with my statements?" or "Would you like to let me finish on my turn?". And yeah, you can sort of guess that he made a fool of himself. We've been taught on our freshman year how to conduct debates in an academic environment and he was debating like a preschool baby. Soon enough my partner realized what was going on, and together we kinda crushed him: my partner gave the final punches with her smooth questioning.

Well, the debate itself was fine, and our side won the audience voting aftermath pretty much because of the pro-side prick. The reason why I'm ranting about it is that he STILL won't stop the debate. Now he's ranting in our private group chatroom about that he would like to hear my grounds on my "false claims about the legal definitions here", and inside my head I'm like 'oh my, just let it go already'... I'd really like to answer his rants something like "Well I would've been glad to provide more public explanation for my arguments, which I know to be accurate and not false, but 75 % of my time was wasted because someone was constantly interrupting me with really random stuff"...

I'm trying to hold it, it's already clear for EVERYONE that this guy is just a terrible loser. I'm just not good at taking accusations about my arguments being false when I know that they are representing scientifical facts. He's just taunting me with it to get a rematch, so I'll just have to shut up with him.

Also, after the debate, but during the lecture, he accused me publicly of "throwing too much of new stuff in my final speech with no opportunities given to the pro-side to give counter-arguments". I really struggled not to throw back anything about his own arguments, to which were ALL brand new for us, whereas our final speech arguments were beforehand familiar for him and he could've been well prepared for them. Luckily the audience voting drew my attention, because any answer on my side would definitely have been a mistake. Whoah.

 

[Angel]

I'm incredibly passive aggressively petty when it comes to things like that ^

My response tends to be an infuriating, "That's nice, dear".

At my age I kinda get away with it more then if I was younger, I suppose...that and I hate confrontation generally so whilst it is childish, it does give me something to focus on rather than trying to think of clever rebuttals. Which, by the way, I can do...at about 3am four days later

Current rant: pretty sure the workmen have nicked off with my carbon monoxide detector. Why is an absolute mystery to me...

 

[therogis]

@Angel Yeah well, I've learned not to pay attention to this kind of people. I've seen a couple of these, they're just unable to let go of anything that didn't go according to all their wicked plans. The best way to fight them is ignore them – it drives them nuts Works every time!

Nah, seriously talking, I'm just not taking part in those made-up dramas that don't serve any good for anyone. I'm just letting them say I'm a coward since I don't answer. I don't have to justify myself anymore, simple as that. Soon enough he'll forget that he got beaten by two younger ladies and it's all better for him as well.

 

[therogis]

My mother snapped at me on Monday. The reason was that she was trying to call me both Saturday evening and Monday evening and I didn't pick it up.

Well... Indeed, I didn't answer. On Saturday eve the reason was that I was spending our 5th anniversary with my husband. The actual date is October 17th, but since I'm leaving my country for 5 months soon, we decided to celebrate when we're still able to kiss each other. My mom knew that we're celebrating and my dad told her my phone is turned off because I want to be with my husband. Should've been OK for her.

On Sunday I forgot that she had even called. Nothing unusual for me. She didn't contact me during Sunday, thus I didn't get a reminder.

On Monday we had a really small farewell party, just with the two closest friends of mine. During the party she tried to call me four times. I didn't answer simply because I tend to mute my phone when I'm spending time with my loved ones. During that five-hour party she blasted my phone with messages with accusations like "ungrateful brat", "you don't bother even seeing your mother before she dies", "you're only taking advantage of me", "you just accepted the wool socks I sent you for your exchange semester but don't even bother answering my calls".

She made me cry and go through a panic attack. Got some of them lately, they started when my psychotherapy began. (My psychotherapist is still surprised that I'm even in contact with my mother, by the way. She's not the only one saying that though.)

So, I just wanted to spend some proper and concentrated time with my loved ones, because I won't see them for five months. And that was the reason for her to accuse me of being ungrateful and clearly wishing for her death and... yeah, you got the point. I didn't even ask her to knit me socks, she just decided to send them for me, and I told her "thank you, they're really warm". I was honestly grateful and happy that she had something to do with her hands because it keeps her away from booze, so I sent her a photo of me wearing them last week... so I just don't know what went wrong again. I tried my best, I really did.

I'm too tired for all this. I cut ties with her, again, for the hundreth time, and I'm already feeling bad for her and mocking myself for not taking care of my mother.

As if she ever took care of me...

 

[Carlos]

My mother snapped at me on Monday. The reason was that she was trying to call me both Saturday evening and Monday evening and I didn't pick it up.

Well... Indeed, I didn't answer. On Saturday eve the reason was that I was spending our 5th anniversary with my husband. The actual date is October 17th, but since I'm leaving my country for 5 months soon, we decided to celebrate when we're still able to kiss each other. My mom knew that we're celebrating and my dad told her my phone is turned off because I want to be with my husband. Should've been OK for her.

On Sunday I forgot that she had even called. Nothing unusual for me. She didn't contact me during Sunday, thus I didn't get a reminder.

On Monday we had a really small farewell party, just with the two closest friends of mine. During the party she tried to call me four times. I didn't answer simply because I tend to mute my phone when I'm spending time with my loved ones. During that five-hour party she blasted my phone with messages with accusations like "ungrateful brat", "you don't bother even seeing your mother before she dies", "you're only taking advantage of me", "you just accepted the wool socks I sent you for your exchange semester but don't even bother answering my calls".

She made me cry and go through a panic attack. Got some of them lately, they started when my psychotherapy began. (My psychotherapist is still surprised that I'm even in contact with my mother, by the way. She's not the only one saying that though.)

So, I just wanted to spend some proper and concentrated time with my loved ones, because I won't see them for five months. And that was the reason for her to accuse me of being ungrateful and clearly wishing for her death and... yeah, you got the point. I didn't even ask her to knit me socks, she just decided to send them for me, and I told her "thank you, they're really warm". I was honestly grateful and happy that she had something to do with her hands because it keeps her away from booze, so I sent her a photo of me wearing them last week... so I just don't know what went wrong again. I tried my best, I really did.

I'm too tired for all this. I cut ties with her, again, for the hundreth time, and I'm already feeling bad for her and mocking myself for not taking care of my mother.

As if she ever took care of me...

Sounds like she's blackmailing you for guilt, or something.

 

[therogis]

Sounds like she's blackmailing you for guilt, or something.

Hate to say this but it surely wouldn't be the first time she does that.

My psychotherapist left me with an open question: "Your mother won't change, that's for sure. You've given her hundreds of opportunities to prove otherwise. Of course you can give her another opportunity, but before you give up and call her again, you'll have to ask yourself this: are you ready to be guilty of everything that goes wrong in her life for the rest of your own life? Are you ready to be never enough for her? If the answer is no, you know what to do."

I can't believe I was really worried about that I should find a way for her to call me while I'm abroad. Let me explain the situation: If I kept my Finnish mobile subscription, I wouldn't be able to use Whatsapp because of data usage, thus I wouldn't be able to make video calls directly from my mobile phone. If I chose the German one, it would cost more for my mother to call me because she doesn't have Whatsapp. I would tell her about the costs beforehand, but she wouldn't care about that, and when she would receive her phone bill, she would accuse me of robbing her or something like that. My father agrees that would definitely happen, as weird as it sounds.

I can't afford two mobile subscriptions, so it was either about having a German one and taking the blame about her phone bills, or keeping a Finnish one and giving up the chances of making video calls to my husband, my father, my mother-in-law, my best friends etc. So... I had to choose between the faces of my loved ones + my mother's rage, or my mother's voice + not being able to see my loved ones.

It's unbelievable that I almost chose the latter. That's what narcissistic people make you do. You're gonna be so afraid of their rage you're ready to give up everything that makes you a person. You're ready to surrender without questions, as soon as they feel like they've got an opportunity to use you as their tool. They're stripping you from your free will, barricading your escape routes one by one, until you're completely depending on them.

The scariest part of that is I'm still not sure if I can keep my distance to her. Might be that I'm calling her tomorrow and apologizing for being an ungrateful brat, just like she told I am.

 

[therogis]

Hate to say this but it surely wouldn't be the first time she does that.

My psychotherapist left me with an open question: "Your mother won't change, that's for sure. You've given her hundreds of opportunities to prove otherwise. Of course you can give her another opportunity, but before you give up and call her again, you'll have to ask yourself this: are you ready to be guilty of everything that goes wrong in her life for the rest of your own life? Are you ready to be never enough for her? If the answer is no, you know what to do."

I can't believe I was really worried about that I should find a way for her to call me while I'm abroad. Let me explain the situation: If I kept my Finnish mobile subscription, I wouldn't be able to use Whatsapp because of data usage, thus I wouldn't be able to make video calls directly from my mobile phone. If I chose the German one, it would cost more for my mother to call me because she doesn't have Whatsapp. I would tell her about the costs beforehand, but she wouldn't care about that, and when she would receive her phone bill, she would accuse me of robbing her or something like that. My father agrees that would definitely happen, as weird as it sounds.

I can't afford two mobile subscriptions, so it was either about having a German one and taking the blame about her phone bills, or keeping a Finnish one and giving up the chances of making video calls to my husband, my father, my mother-in-law, my best friends etc. So... I had to choose between the faces of my loved ones + my mother's rage, or my mother's voice + not being able to see my loved ones.

It's unbelievable that I almost chose the latter. That's what narcissistic people make you do. You're gonna be so afraid of their rage you're ready to give up everything that makes you a person. You're ready to surrender without questions, as soon as they feel like they've got an opportunity to use you as their tool. They're stripping you from your free will, barricading your escape routes one by one, until you're completely depending on them.

The scariest part of that is I'm still not sure if I can keep my distance to her. Might be that I'm calling her tomorrow and apologizing for being an ungrateful brat, just like she told I am.

Still about this: My mother has figured out that she can call me as much as she wants if she uses her boyfriend's phone, and by setting his number on private mode, I cannot block them.

Thanks a lot, mother. It seems I'll have to go through court order to keep her away from me, and it's a bit hard to start a court proceeding when I'm not in my home country right now.