Okay, seriously. You have not had a good anniversary with him for the last four. Why the hell, then, does it come as a surprise to you this year, given the fact that your marriage is only just coming off of the rocks--with no promise of actually being repaired?
Moreover, why does it surprise you that in saying Happy Anniversary (when neither of you have been wearing your wedding bands or exchanging the typical "I love yous" because the verdict of your relationship has yet to be decided) that he's fled the house today?
Is he being really effing difficult to read? Oh, absolutely. But you have been with him for 22 years, married for 18 of those, and chose him over the well-being of your own flesh and blood child when she was suffering far worse at the end of those mood-swings.
Ffs. It's nice to know my blowing up and pointing out that I have no sympathy for your situation because you didn't give a damn when it mattered awhile back was lost on you.
Too little, too late.