Devil May Cry Bloopers!
- Thread starter Vergilissexy
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Continuation: The break in
D: You actually watch that stuff?
V: Well, once. It was worse than watching those demons in Hell kill that poor guy!!! Hahaha!!!
D: So, why did you just fall off the damn waterfall like that!?
V: Why? Ya missed me little bro?
Flashback: Soul screamer
Vergil falls off the water fall and...
D: Alright, alright! That damn flashback comes too often.
V: Yeah, I'm gonna keep the one where you hugged Nero playing in my head forever!! Hahaha!!
D: It aint funny!!
N: But, Kyrie, I...
K: Dont explain. I thought I knew you Nero...
N: But...
As they were talking, Trish walks in through the doors and flings her hair back as she walks to the whole scene.
N: Crap. Uhh, sorry for not visiting you Trish. I was quite busy on the weekend.
T: Thats okay hun.
K: (Looks at Trish disgusted) Hun? Hun...? Nero you b****!! I hate you!! (Slaps Nero and walks grumpily out the door)
T: Whats up with her?
Nero sits on the floor, hopeless, and unloved.
V: Hahaha!!! He just got dumped by 4 people!!!
L: Tsk tsk tsk, what a shame.
T: Tell me about it.
D: Poor Nero. Unloved, and hopeless.
D: You actually watch that stuff?
V: Well, once. It was worse than watching those demons in Hell kill that poor guy!!! Hahaha!!!
D: So, why did you just fall off the damn waterfall like that!?
V: Why? Ya missed me little bro?
Flashback: Soul screamer
Vergil falls off the water fall and...
D: Alright, alright! That damn flashback comes too often.
V: Yeah, I'm gonna keep the one where you hugged Nero playing in my head forever!! Hahaha!!
D: It aint funny!!
N: But, Kyrie, I...
K: Dont explain. I thought I knew you Nero...
N: But...
As they were talking, Trish walks in through the doors and flings her hair back as she walks to the whole scene.
N: Crap. Uhh, sorry for not visiting you Trish. I was quite busy on the weekend.
T: Thats okay hun.
K: (Looks at Trish disgusted) Hun? Hun...? Nero you b****!! I hate you!! (Slaps Nero and walks grumpily out the door)
T: Whats up with her?
Nero sits on the floor, hopeless, and unloved.
V: Hahaha!!! He just got dumped by 4 people!!!
L: Tsk tsk tsk, what a shame.
T: Tell me about it.
D: Poor Nero. Unloved, and hopeless.
Stage 13: (I forgot the stage name!)
V: Why isnt this working!? Is there soemthing missing? Must more blood be shed?
D: Ya seem to be in a bad mood.
V: Dante...
N: Nero...
D: Vergil...
L: Arkham...
A: Mary...
L: Dont EVER call me that again you ba*****!!!
Lady shoots Arkham in his eye.
V: Why the hell are we saying eachothers names?
D: I dont kno-...
*Twinkle twinkle little star*
V: (Takes out cell phone and asks) Hello?
D: Hahahaha!!!!!!!
V: It aint funny! The rest of the cool ringtones were out...
N: So, I have got Kyrie singing on my phone, but, it sounds better than your one!! Hahaha!!
(Behind the stage)
A: Mary! Please, dont!
V: (Holding phone) I cant hear you!!
D: Hahaha!!!
(Bomb explosion)
V: What!?
V: WHAT!?
T: (Speaking to Vergil from the phone) Oh, just f*** it.
Puts the phone down.
V: Why isnt this working!? Is there soemthing missing? Must more blood be shed?
D: Ya seem to be in a bad mood.
V: Dante...
N: Nero...
D: Vergil...
L: Arkham...
A: Mary...
L: Dont EVER call me that again you ba*****!!!
Lady shoots Arkham in his eye.
V: Why the hell are we saying eachothers names?
D: I dont kno-...
*Twinkle twinkle little star*
V: (Takes out cell phone and asks) Hello?
D: Hahahaha!!!!!!!
V: It aint funny! The rest of the cool ringtones were out...
N: So, I have got Kyrie singing on my phone, but, it sounds better than your one!! Hahaha!!
(Behind the stage)
A: Mary! Please, dont!
V: (Holding phone) I cant hear you!!
D: Hahaha!!!
(Bomb explosion)
V: What!?
V: WHAT!?
T: (Speaking to Vergil from the phone) Oh, just f*** it.
Puts the phone down.
Mission 10: Ending/Lady shoots at Dante
L: That man... did you kill him?
D: So what if...
V: I did?
Lady starts shooting at Vergil and Dante at the same time.
V: Hey Dante, pass me your gun here for a sec.
D: Sure thing.
Dante passes Ebony to Vergil as they also both start shooting.
L: F***!!! My arm!!
D: And to top it off, that filthy scum is her father.
V: Hmph, we all have disfunctional families.
D: Well, atleast we didnt have a sister.
L: Father? Father!?
D: Would you shut up already!?
V: I killed him. Though, he is still alive.
A: His name is Vergil.
L: Virgin?
A: What? I said Vergil.
L: I cant hear you father! Noooooo! Please, dont die!!
V: How dare you call me that!?
Vergil goes to Arkham and well, stabs him again as he throws ebony back to Dante.
D: My brother.
L: FATHER!!!
L: That man... did you kill him?
D: So what if...
V: I did?
Lady starts shooting at Vergil and Dante at the same time.
V: Hey Dante, pass me your gun here for a sec.
D: Sure thing.
Dante passes Ebony to Vergil as they also both start shooting.
L: F***!!! My arm!!
D: And to top it off, that filthy scum is her father.
V: Hmph, we all have disfunctional families.
D: Well, atleast we didnt have a sister.
L: Father? Father!?
D: Would you shut up already!?
V: I killed him. Though, he is still alive.
A: His name is Vergil.
L: Virgin?
A: What? I said Vergil.
L: I cant hear you father! Noooooo! Please, dont die!!
V: How dare you call me that!?
Vergil goes to Arkham and well, stabs him again as he throws ebony back to Dante.
D: My brother.
L: FATHER!!!
DMC4: Stage...: In the snow (Well, what I call it for now)
Dante is killing a few demons in the snow with Gilgamesh. Gloria then walks into the scene, as she does in the video around dead demons.
D: Woah.
G: I see you have killed some demons, hey?
Dante just stares at Gloria as she walks closer to him.
D: Yeah. (Looks fascinated at something)
T: Im sexier aint I?
Trish asks as she walks into the scene flinging her hair back.
D: I dont know.
L: I, am the sexiest!
G: Umm, who are they?
D: Wait! Cant you see I am deciding!?
K: But, I am for Dante!! I love him!!
V: .......
N: Hahaha!!! Still doing without a girl???
V: Your alone too ya know!!
N: .......
D: Hey hey, guess that stubble made a change huh?
V: .......
N: .......
K: Nero can go to hell!!
N: Damn that b****!
V: Damn Dante! He stole all the hot chics.
Lucia: Im still left.
N: I dont want matier.
V: And I dont want a chicken.
Lucia: Hey!!
Dante is killing a few demons in the snow with Gilgamesh. Gloria then walks into the scene, as she does in the video around dead demons.
D: Woah.
G: I see you have killed some demons, hey?
Dante just stares at Gloria as she walks closer to him.
D: Yeah. (Looks fascinated at something)
T: Im sexier aint I?
Trish asks as she walks into the scene flinging her hair back.
D: I dont know.
L: I, am the sexiest!
G: Umm, who are they?
D: Wait! Cant you see I am deciding!?
K: But, I am for Dante!! I love him!!
V: .......
N: Hahaha!!! Still doing without a girl???
V: Your alone too ya know!!
N: .......
D: Hey hey, guess that stubble made a change huh?
V: .......
N: .......
K: Nero can go to hell!!
N: Damn that b****!
V: Damn Dante! He stole all the hot chics.
Lucia: Im still left.
N: I dont want matier.
V: And I dont want a chicken.
Lucia: Hey!!
The following is a blooper scene from Mission 9, Devil May Cry 3. Here is the short key:
V = Vergil
D = Dante
L = Lady
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*Bursts out of the Leviathan*
D: So, this is the next stage...
L: WAIT!
D *sigh* If you are looking for a date, forget it. 'Cause I am making a point not to go out with women who shoot me in the head.
L: Look I had to you were looking up my skirt when you caught me!
D: It doesn't matter it was SO painful!
Director: CUT CUT CUT!!!
V: Oh for ****'s sake dude do I have to drink another ****in' beer whilst you two go on about the same ****in' thing for the fifth ****in’ time in three ****in' days?
L: And why must you worry Dante we are using motion capture guns not real ones!
Director: Look I am TRYING to make an animated film about Devil May Cry 3, and you two are-
L: -But who said it had to be animated? The designers are making my breasts way too big, I mean, what type of a sick pervert would do that behind my back?
D: And why did you hand the job to Square-Enix? I hate them! They make me look like Kadaj and that is not I repeat that is NOT a good thing!
V: Heheh, yeah, you look like a girl.
D: Shut up dickweed at least I can act better than you.
V: So what? Who cares anyway. She-man.
D: Plus I'm not scared of spiders.
L: Dante does have a point...
V: I told you...It was a ****in' five foot RAT!
D: With eight legs...
L: UUUGH that's it! If anyone needs me, I'll be in my trailer eating p-
D: Pizza. :|
V: ...
L: Pasta. Asshole.
D: Well I'll be eatin' pizza tonight.
V: Again.
D: What you want some bro? Nar, better not, you'll just stuff your face with chocolate cake again. Ya fat ****.
V: IT'S NOT CAKE. It's a muffin. Besides I don't like pizza, it gives me spots....
L: Wtf?
D: What the...Who doesn't like pizza?!
V: But you are the little child here, I mean you eat strawberry icecream for ****'s sake.
D: Correction - it's strawberry Sundae.
V: Yeah well...get a haircut.
L: Wait, are we still filming?
D: Oh my God you better not have this as a blooper...
*Dante shoots camera/camera man*
V = Vergil
D = Dante
L = Lady
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Bursts out of the Leviathan*
D: So, this is the next stage...
L: WAIT!
D *sigh* If you are looking for a date, forget it. 'Cause I am making a point not to go out with women who shoot me in the head.
L: Look I had to you were looking up my skirt when you caught me!
D: It doesn't matter it was SO painful!
Director: CUT CUT CUT!!!
V: Oh for ****'s sake dude do I have to drink another ****in' beer whilst you two go on about the same ****in' thing for the fifth ****in’ time in three ****in' days?
L: And why must you worry Dante we are using motion capture guns not real ones!
Director: Look I am TRYING to make an animated film about Devil May Cry 3, and you two are-
L: -But who said it had to be animated? The designers are making my breasts way too big, I mean, what type of a sick pervert would do that behind my back?
D: And why did you hand the job to Square-Enix? I hate them! They make me look like Kadaj and that is not I repeat that is NOT a good thing!
V: Heheh, yeah, you look like a girl.
D: Shut up dickweed at least I can act better than you.
V: So what? Who cares anyway. She-man.
D: Plus I'm not scared of spiders.
L: Dante does have a point...
V: I told you...It was a ****in' five foot RAT!
D: With eight legs...
L: UUUGH that's it! If anyone needs me, I'll be in my trailer eating p-
D: Pizza. :|
V: ...
L: Pasta. Asshole.
D: Well I'll be eatin' pizza tonight.
V: Again.
D: What you want some bro? Nar, better not, you'll just stuff your face with chocolate cake again. Ya fat ****.
V: IT'S NOT CAKE. It's a muffin. Besides I don't like pizza, it gives me spots....
L: Wtf?
D: What the...Who doesn't like pizza?!
V: But you are the little child here, I mean you eat strawberry icecream for ****'s sake.
D: Correction - it's strawberry Sundae.
V: Yeah well...get a haircut.
L: Wait, are we still filming?
D: Oh my God you better not have this as a blooper...
*Dante shoots camera/camera man*
Ooooh, nice one KoRn Dowwg666!!
I never knew Vergil swore so much! Haha!
In Dante's joint: Behind the scenes
A: Dont cry Mary!
L: Papa! He stole my guns! I want them back!
V: You shall die! (Holds Lady's guns, pointing at Dante)
D: Limme alone! (Sits at his desk reading a magazine)
L Papa!! (Cries)
Jester: Youve been a bad girl Vergil!
L: PAPA!!!
A: Okay, okay, I'll get you new ones.
L: Yaaay!
V: What did you call me!? A GIRL!? (Shoots Arkham) Now, back to where we were. Dont get so cocky.
D: Damn it Verg! Cant you see Im trying to read here! Dont you want me to be clever!? (Throws magazine at Verrgil's face)
V: Well, why would I want that? Besides, you would be more intelligent than me, and open the demon world to rule it. I would be outta the picture then.
(Dante sits in a corner and sulks as Vergil taunts him over and over again)
L: Papa! What happened to you!?
A: It was...(He dies)
D: Atleast its one down.
L: Now, Vergil! You have to take me to get my new gun!
V: &%^^*#@
D: Yes! They are all gone.
Lady holding Vergils hand as they walk to the gun shop:
V: &*^%%$#@
I never knew Vergil swore so much! Haha!
In Dante's joint: Behind the scenes
A: Dont cry Mary!
L: Papa! He stole my guns! I want them back!
V: You shall die! (Holds Lady's guns, pointing at Dante)
D: Limme alone! (Sits at his desk reading a magazine)
L Papa!! (Cries)
Jester: Youve been a bad girl Vergil!
L: PAPA!!!
A: Okay, okay, I'll get you new ones.
L: Yaaay!
V: What did you call me!? A GIRL!? (Shoots Arkham) Now, back to where we were. Dont get so cocky.
D: Damn it Verg! Cant you see Im trying to read here! Dont you want me to be clever!? (Throws magazine at Verrgil's face)
V: Well, why would I want that? Besides, you would be more intelligent than me, and open the demon world to rule it. I would be outta the picture then.
(Dante sits in a corner and sulks as Vergil taunts him over and over again)
L: Papa! What happened to you!?
A: It was...(He dies)
D: Atleast its one down.
L: Now, Vergil! You have to take me to get my new gun!
V: &%^^*#@
D: Yes! They are all gone.
Lady holding Vergils hand as they walk to the gun shop:
V: &*^%%$#@
Stage 7: A chance meeting
V: You showed up.
D: Haha! You still have that voice!
V: ... Why do you always have to tease me?
D: Haha! Isnt it fun to tease your older brother!
V: Well, it wasnt my fault that dad told them to mistakely adjust my larynx instead of my hair.
D: Hahahaha!
V: ......
V: You showed up.
D: Haha! You still have that voice!
V: ... Why do you always have to tease me?
D: Haha! Isnt it fun to tease your older brother!
V: Well, it wasnt my fault that dad told them to mistakely adjust my larynx instead of my hair.
D: Hahahaha!
V: ......
Well, Vergil's hair is different from Dante's. I suppose he wanted it like that, so he didnt want to look like his twin brother. In a way. And with his funny voice, in the hospital they have changed that instead of making his hair spiky.
Vergil: ……………….…*ting*……………
Lady: So, you actually called us here to form a band and not to kick *** for once?
Dante: Hell yeah man I mean, what better time to make kick *** music than now?
Vergil: ……………*dum*………………………
Lady: ………*twong*………
Dante: Oh c’mon you don’t know how to play the drums? Or even a bass guitar?!
Vergil: ………*ting*………
Lady: *twong*
Dante: *sigh*…So no bass and a drummer who has no rhythm. Great.
Lady: Well I can’t play without a drummer I mean, what am I supposed to play without some source of direction for ****’s sake?
Vergil: ………………*bang*……………
Dante: Um, Arkham, what are you doing with a banjo?
Jester: Well ZOWEY B-GEEZAUS Mr. Senorita D of the UMB with the A.S.S. I want to kick MetallicAss with the sheer awesome-dee-thingy-m’google-mehshmoogle wazzit with my shredder riffs duderz!
Dante: With. A banjo?
Arkham: Well Dumbass…Now where’s the beer….
Dante: *sigh* Okay, well, at least I have my instrument -
*Dante swings out Nevan from the wall and plays a killer solo which not even Matt Heafy could play. Literally…*
Lady: :|
Dante: Haha, awesome huh? ^_^
Lady: Indeed :|
Dante: Heheheheheheheheeh…Vergil what are you doing with that sword……? :huh:
Vergil: *SMASH!*
Dante: AH! Those drums cost me like, a hundred dollars! You never had to destroy them for God's sake, just 'cause you're **** as Hell :O
Vergil: …But...........……The drums.............They hate me…................*ting*.............
Dante: *Slaps head*
Lady: Um, Dante, can I ask something? Where the Hell did you get that guitar from?
Dante: Eh, I got it off some hot green topless slim ginger chick a while ago.
Lady: I see…How much did it cost you?
Dante: I'd....rather not really say....
Lady: ...?
Dante: ...Fifty an hour…..
Lady: :O
Vergil: ---_______________________---'
Lady: So, you actually called us here to form a band and not to kick *** for once?
Dante: Hell yeah man I mean, what better time to make kick *** music than now?
Vergil: ……………*dum*………………………
Lady: ………*twong*………
Dante: Oh c’mon you don’t know how to play the drums? Or even a bass guitar?!
Vergil: ………*ting*………
Lady: *twong*
Dante: *sigh*…So no bass and a drummer who has no rhythm. Great.
Lady: Well I can’t play without a drummer I mean, what am I supposed to play without some source of direction for ****’s sake?
Vergil: ………………*bang*……………
Dante: Um, Arkham, what are you doing with a banjo?
Jester: Well ZOWEY B-GEEZAUS Mr. Senorita D of the UMB with the A.S.S. I want to kick MetallicAss with the sheer awesome-dee-thingy-m’google-mehshmoogle wazzit with my shredder riffs duderz!
Dante: With. A banjo?
Arkham: Well Dumbass…Now where’s the beer….
Dante: *sigh* Okay, well, at least I have my instrument -
*Dante swings out Nevan from the wall and plays a killer solo which not even Matt Heafy could play. Literally…*
Lady: :|
Dante: Haha, awesome huh? ^_^
Lady: Indeed :|
Dante: Heheheheheheheheeh…Vergil what are you doing with that sword……? :huh:
Vergil: *SMASH!*
Dante: AH! Those drums cost me like, a hundred dollars! You never had to destroy them for God's sake, just 'cause you're **** as Hell :O
Vergil: …But...........……The drums.............They hate me…................*ting*.............
Dante: *Slaps head*
Lady: Um, Dante, can I ask something? Where the Hell did you get that guitar from?
Dante: Eh, I got it off some hot green topless slim ginger chick a while ago.
Lady: I see…How much did it cost you?
Dante: I'd....rather not really say....
Lady: ...?
Dante: ...Fifty an hour…..
Lady: :O
Vergil: ---_______________________---'
Continuation: ^Upper blooper
D: Well, if you need it what should you do?
L: ... Try and get it...
V: ......*Ting*......
D: C'mon dudes! You guys totally suck! Now were never gonna get anywhere in the contest!
L: ... Contest?????...
V: ......*Ting*......
D: Yeah... oh s***...
L: You a**hole!! There was a contest the whole time and you didnt tell me anything!?!?
D: (Takes out Nevan, and starts playing it)
V: ......*Ting*...... *ZZZZZZZ!!!!* (Vergil gets zapped by Nevan's electric and bat powers)
D: Oh f***. Now I'm totally screwed. *Runs off as Vergil and Lady chase after him, in anger*
D: Well, if you need it what should you do?
L: ... Try and get it...
V: ......*Ting*......
D: C'mon dudes! You guys totally suck! Now were never gonna get anywhere in the contest!
L: ... Contest?????...
V: ......*Ting*......
D: Yeah... oh s***...
L: You a**hole!! There was a contest the whole time and you didnt tell me anything!?!?
D: (Takes out Nevan, and starts playing it)
V: ......*Ting*...... *ZZZZZZZ!!!!* (Vergil gets zapped by Nevan's electric and bat powers)
D: Oh f***. Now I'm totally screwed. *Runs off as Vergil and Lady chase after him, in anger*
...*cough*...Um, cool carry on, but I don't like things of mine, well, carried on, if you know what I mean. Thanks...
Stage 12: The beginning
J: Youre not going to shoot me... are you? I'll die, you know?
D: Whatever it takes to... wait, you wont die.
J: Uhh, yes, I will...
D: Youre made outta wood dude.
J: Uhh, no Im not...
D: Duh you are.
J: Well, why do you say that?
D: Just watch!
*Cuts Jesters body in half*
D: S***. Guess I was wrong then.
Dir: Now who the heck is gonna do Jester!?
D: How about Pinokio? They're realted... right?
Dir: *Slaps head. Feeling hopeless*
D: ... Wheres the pizza...?
J: Youre not going to shoot me... are you? I'll die, you know?
D: Whatever it takes to... wait, you wont die.
J: Uhh, yes, I will...
D: Youre made outta wood dude.
J: Uhh, no Im not...
D: Duh you are.
J: Well, why do you say that?
D: Just watch!
*Cuts Jesters body in half*
D: S***. Guess I was wrong then.
Dir: Now who the heck is gonna do Jester!?
D: How about Pinokio? They're realted... right?
Dir: *Slaps head. Feeling hopeless*
D: ... Wheres the pizza...?
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