Devil May Cry Bloopers!

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Re: Bloopers!

Haha!! That one was really funny! :D!!
Stage 12: Geryon

D: A chicken race with a horce huh? Sounds fair enough.
Geryon: .....huh?
D: ****!! You can talk too!!??
Geryon: Im still... getting... a basic teaching of English.
D: Cool!! (Jumps on Geryon and hugs him)
V: Ive gotta take a picture of this!
Vergil holds his camera and takes a picture of Dante hugging Geryon and showing the peace sign. 2 fingers and smiling.
Vergil puts the pic in an envelope and sends it to his dad in Hell.
Sparda: Huh? A letter? I wonder whats inside...
He opens the letter and his jaw drops flat to the ground.
 
Thanks Morrigan!!
Dante on holiday with Vergil after DMC3 hits stores:

Dante relaxing on the beach while Vergil is checking out chicks.
D: Hey, I want a pizza...
V: Cut off!
D: What the hell is going on!!??
V: This demon is harrasing me!!
D: Hahahahahah!!!
V: Okay.... whats so funny??
Director: I should put this in the game. (Holds camera on shoulder and records the whole scene) Release the dog.
Cerberus: Grrraaaa!!!!
D: What the ****!!??
V: .....huh?.....
C: No!! Im melting!!! The sun!!! The beach!!!???
L: Doggy!!! No!!! I loved you!!!
Dante and Vergil start laughing.
 
Cool! :)

Once upon a time Vergil has decided to joke with Lady. (don't laugh...It's just the begining) He made his hair in Dante's style, took Dante's clothes, Rebellion and E&I.

(late evening)
L: (opens the door) Hi. What's up?
V: Hey, babe. I just missed you.
L: Really?
V: Yep. (he put his hand near her head) You looks so beautiful tonight...
L: Come in.
V: (goes into) I love a fast woman.
L: (sits down on the sofa) You…
Dante (goes from the shower) Thanks, Lady. I feels better after that weird thing with my clothes and weapon... (he notices Vergil) WHAT THE HELL??? Back my clothes, Vergil! Right now!!!

Vergil and Dante start fighting.

L: Ooh! I've never expected that this night will so funny! (Dante and Vergil fall near you legs) Wow! It's my kind of rain!
 
Hahahah!!! That was really funny!!! :lol:
Stage 20: Arkhams death

A: I was supposed to be a god! I sacrificed a woman so I can become a legend! That is all... is it really that awful?
L: Ofcourse it is you a$$ho**!!!! You killed my damn mother!!! She meant everything to me!!!
A: Mary!!! Please help me!!!
L: Never!! You can never call me Mary!! My name is lady....
N: (Behind the studio) Sniff....(Eating popcorn) sniff.... no!!! Dont!!!
Nero runs in the scene and moves Arkham out of the way and stands infront of lady.
L: Die!!!! (Eyes are closed)
In slow motion she shoots Nero.
Kyrie: Noooooo!!!!! (Pushes Nero out of the way and gets shot)
Director: What the ****!!!!????
N: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
L: Ooops...
V: @#$$&**~. I hope theres gona be a chick fight...
D: I hate it when you say that word with the #$@ whatever!!!
V: ......
N: You will pay!!! (Shoots lady)
A: .....and me?.....
 
DMC4 Cut scene: Dantes break-in

Dante breaks through the window on the ceiling.
Credo: What the ****!? Who the **** are you!?
D: I thought youd ask.
Credo: Could you just tell me your name?
N: I didnt know you swear so much Uncle Credo!
Arkham: Is your name Dante? Son of Sparda?
D: Where did you hear that from?
Credo: Dante? Then who is that ugly guy there? (Points at Arkham)
A: Grrrrrrr!!
D: Easy Fido! He is Arkham my best enemy buddy!
V: (Breaks in through the glass from ceiling)
A: Damn you!!
V: You must come to realise you cannot control his power.
D: There you go again stealing my spotlight..... bro? Is that you? I missed ya pal!!!
Dante hugs Vergil.
V: Do you always embaress me like this!? I just fell off a ****** waterfall for damn sake!!
D: Sniff... but I missed ya... sniff.
V: Why lie, I missed ya too!!!!
Dante and Vergil hug.
N: Why not jump in?
Nero hugs Dante and Vergil too.
V: Who the heck is this guy?
Kyrie: Now look! There are 2 holes in the ceiling! This time I am not repairing it!!
L: I will!! (Lady holds a hammer and work hat and walks through to the scene)
Director: *sigh* Why not Credo play Dante instead?
D: #$$^&**#@!!!!?????
V: I thought him that!
 
Stage 9: The beginning

Leviathen mistakely lands on lady and squashes her flat to, inside the ground.
D: So this is the next stage...
L: Wait!
D: Look, if your asking for a date, forg........ WTF!!??
N: I really dont care for guys who stink like blood.
D: What the **** are you doing!? Where the hell is lady!?..... and please take that damn top and skirt off when your done Nero.....
Director: You have to do the scene with Nero Dante!! Lady got squashed by leviathen here!
D: Cant Vergil do the part?
V: Ummmmmm, no he cant. He said he went to your joint!
D: Oh sh**!!!!
Dante runs out of the scene and runs to his store covered in blood.
Director: Now whos gonna do the part?
Kyrie: I dont mind...
Director: Nero, youre Dante!! Switch!!
N: Geez. This damn wig wont come off...
V: Ive gotta take a pic of this.
Vergil appears from nowhere at the stage and takes a picture of Nero struggling to take his wig off.
V: Hehehehe...
Vergil puts it in a letter and sends it to Sparda.
S: Another letter? Hmmmm, I wonder what inside....
He opens the letter, "Hi dad, this is Dante again."
And the pic comes up.
S: ....... what has gotten into my son?.......
D: There you are Verg!!
V: Oh crap... Im getting some pizza Dante...
D: Yay!!! Pizza!!! Im coming with!!!
V: Wow, Im saved.
N: DAMN YOU WIG!!!!
Arkham: Daughter!!! Mary!!!
L: Dont ever call me that again!!! (Shoots Arkham from underneath leviathen)
Director: Im getting new actors. The rst can go to hell.
 
Stage 13: Ending

A: Impressive
Dante, Vergil, and lady are pointing guns or swords at Arkham.
A: But arent you for...
D: Impress this!
Dante impales Arkham right in the stomach.
L: .......
V: Nice one bro, now how are we gonna do the damn part!?
Director: Are you mentally retarded!?
D: I heard that!!
Dante jumps and attacks the director.
V: My brother. I better add this to the family album...
L: ...... papa?......
Lady asks and then bursts out crying.
V: I thought you hated his living guts...
L: Waaaa.. I used to! Now.. hes dead!!!
A: Hahahahaha!!! I cant beleive you actually loved me Mary!!!
L: Whats... whats going on?
A: Mary, Im so sorry about your dear mother, pure and innocent.... hahahahaha!!!
D: WTF?
V: WTF?
L: A$$Ho**!!!
Lady shoots Arkham and does the stage 20 part where she says, "and here I thought I was never gonna cry"
N: This si so dramatic.... sniff....
D: You guys are such softies! Especially you Nero!
N: I cant help it, I also loved my dad...
L: NO!! Papa!!
V: Stupid. You shot your own father and now your crying for him.
D: I never knew you knew your father...
Nero jumps on Dante and they both start fighting eachother.
 
Two days till release of DMC4... Nero, Kyrie and members of the Order are hiding in the Temple of Sword.

Credo: Hm... We can't defend Fortuna from Dante's fans. They already destroyed Capcom buildings.
Nero: We must fight! For our faith!
Credo: I'm the Leader of the Order... And I'm saying... now it's time to RUN! (members of the Order are packing their weapons).
Nero: We must fight! For Capcom!!!!
Kyrie: Nero... Enough!
Nero: (surprised) Kyrie... I love you...
K: Enough already!!! I hate you!!! I hate Capcom!!! They made me foolish doll for your... for your satisfaction! (she cries). I'm leaving you.
Nero: KYYYRRIIIIEEEEE!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!

Dante appears and kills all members.

Kyrie: Nero! Save me!
Nero: Kyrie!
Kyrie: NERO!
Nero: KYRIE!
K: NNNEEERROOOO!!!
N: KKYYRRRIIIEEE!!!
D: DAANNNTTEEEE!!!! (Nero and Kyrie are shocked and they look at him). What? You can scream yours names and I can't??? Ooh. That was cool.
K: Save me, Nero! (hiding behind Nero's back) SA-A-AVE ME!
D: Stop screaming! I already killed them all.
K: (insulted) I'm not screaming... I'm singing...
N: I must fight, Kyrie. Go away... (nothing happens)... Kyrie, let me fight... (she looks at Dante and doesn't move) Kyrie!
K: Ah... He's so...So... I'm melting...
N: WHATTT???
D: Ha! That's a switch! Don't forget to give my best regards to your brother, babe! See you! (Kyrie turns red and goes away).
N: Now I know...
D: Silent! I have a headache after your screams... Let's play!
N: But...
D: No talking.
N: I...
D: No talking!
Nero takes the Red Queen.
D: Good!
 
DMC 3 - after cerberus battle

Cerberus: you, you are not human are you?
Dante: no duh fido
director: no you're supossed to say "i'm not sure myself."
Dante: shut up! (shoots the director)
Director: you shot me! ow!
(director falls 5 stories)
could someone please help me?! I'm still alive but i'm very badly injured. I think my legs maybe broken. I'll try to stand. OW! nope broken! could somebody send down a vital star or a gold orb, i am in very large amount of pain!

DMC 3 - Before first Vergil Battle

Dante: you sure know how to throw a party. No food. No drinks and the only babe just left.
Vergil: my sincerist appologies brother, i was so anixious to see you i couldn't concerntrate on preperations for the bash.
Dante: anyway it's been nearly a year since we last met, How about a kiss from your little brother, or better yet...how about some hot butt sex?
Vergil:......
*My ex came up with that one*

DMC 2

Lucia: Maiter! Where is Maiter?!
Dante: Hey Red!
Lucia: Maiter!
Dante: Hey red!
Lucia: Huh?
Dante: yes i'm talking to you red.
Lucia: what is it son of sparda?
Dante: what's this map i have here, and by the way my name's Dante. And you're?
Lucia: I'm Lucia. you were called here on a mission which Maiter will explain once i find her. your skills are legend Dante.
Dante: yeah whatever. Just find her. The sooner i figure out why i am here, the sooner i can finish the mission, get paid and then go back to new york.

DMC 1

Trish zaps Dante.
Dante: Trish? what the...
Trish zaps the nightmare. she then ambushes Dante, pushes him to the ground and they begin kissing firecley.
Director: CUT!!!!
Dante and Trish inorge the director and keep on kissing.
CUT!!!!!
Dante pulls out ebony and shoots the director. the director dies. Trish and Dante keep making out.

DMC 3
Dante: sorry but this is no place for a little girl. so beat it.
Lady: shut up.
Vergil: you side with humans? you are still naive, Dante?
Dante: hey if we lose the girl now whose the winner gonna F*** after the party?
 
Stage 5: Agni & Rudra

A: Look brother! Its been ages but we finally have company!
R: Yes, I can see that! We must entertain our guest...
A: What should we do?
R: I dont know we have to come up with something...
D: *sigh*
R: Look brother, our guest is sighing...
A: Sigh? What is sigh?
R: Well a sigh is when someone goes like this, "sigh"
A: .....ummmmmm.....
Director: Dante.. say the part..
R: Well a sigh is when...
D: Oh c'mon!! Howcome you guys are brothers and you love eachother so much!?
R: .....
A: .....
D: I know I have problems, If only Verg and I could get along...*Cries*
V: Brother!
D: Brother!
V: Brother!
V and D do the slow motion runn'hug scene.
A: Are we going to do the part or what?
R: Im going for some pizza.
D: PIZZA!!!
Dante lets go of Vergil and runs to the pizza store.
V: Why do I bother?
Director: Here we go again with pizza.
 
It's pretty funny. Ha-ha.

The same scene..

Rudra comes to the stage.
Director: Where is Agni?
R: He's ill. Let someone replace him today.
Dir: Ok. Dante! Vergil! Come here...
V: What's going on? (Dante eats pizza)
Dir: Agni is ill. You both replace the Devil brothers.
D: Ok. Let's play!
V: Look brother! Its been ages but we finally have company! Let's fun!
D: Yes, I can see that! But where are the girls? We must entertain our guest...
V: What should we do? Kill him?
D: I dont know we have to come up with something... cruel!
R: *sigh*
D: Look brother, our guest is sighing...
V: Sigh? How boring... He must be angry! But just sigh?... Foolish, Rudra,foolish...Ok. What the hell is sigh?
D: Who cares? Let's kill him!
 
Hehe, that was funny! :lol:
Stage 7: After Vergil battle

V: Why do you refuse to gain power? The power of our father Sparda?
D: Father, I don.... wait, I do have a father.
Dir: You supposed to say I dont have a father!
D: Dude, that would be stupid! Everyone knows I have a father already!
Dir: Why do you and I always argue like this?
V: Because you suck. (Looks at director)
N: This game seems to be taking a while to make...
D: Yeah, because of this dumb director.
V: I dont blame ya for calling him dumb.
L: Maybe I could be of some assistance!
D: ....your joking....
L: ....why should I be joking?
N: Let me be the new director!
Nero writes out new parts for Dante and Vergil.
N: Throw in the rain!
V: Why do ya refuse to gain power? The power of the great....Nero?
N: Hehehe...
D: Damn, well he is our new director.
L: Sorry the rain stopped guys, the water bill showed up and it seems like the director didnt pay the bill yet.
D&V: Hehehe...
N: Do they always get away with something?
L: It comes up to 100$.
N: A 100!? You gotta be kidding! How much of water did we use?!
L: Why would I be kidding?
Dante and Vergil start laughing their guts out while Nero is signing and paying the water bill.

Continuation stage....: Dantes break-in

Nero and Dante are busy in a fight while Vergil is standing on the side speaking to the director drinking tea.
V: I never knew you were going to get Dante back in the sequel. I thought it was going to be me.
Dir: Yeah, I thought so too.
V: Well you left an e-mail on my pc saying Im going to be in the game.
Dir: Well it was my mistake...
V: (Chokes on tea and holds throat)
D: Brother!!!
N: Brother?
D: (Runs toward Nero)
N: Im... Im your brother? (Face begins to shine in touchment)
D: Nooooooo!!
Nero opens his arms for a huge hug and dante runs passed him to help Vergil get the tea out from his system.
V: Thanks bro.
D: Dont mention it! I did owe ya from the waterfall thing...
V: Aaaah!! Dont bring that up!!
Dante and Vergil start fighting while Nero is speaking to the director drinking tea.
N: These twins are totally wierd.
Dir: Tell me about it...
 
Dante, Vergil, Trish, Lady, Nero and Kyrie in the Devil's bar.


D: Huh. Nero pays for all.
N: ...?!? Why??
D: Because you kicked me.
N: So what? Vergil will pay! He tried to kill you many times.
V: Hmm... Why must I pay? Lady tried to kill Dante too.
L: Ha! I didn't know him...And I just tried to save my life from the demon. Let Trish to pay for all..
T: Why me?
D: You betrayed me...
T: No! I saved your life after all... Remember? I gave you my power and saved you from Mundus!
D: She's right. Nero...
N: No way.
All of them turn to Kyrie...
K: Me???...
 
Hehehehe.... that was REALLY funny!!:lol:
Stage 20: Waterfall part

V: Dante, this belongs to a son of Sparda.
D: So? Im not gonna take it anyway, because your gonna fall off a damn cliff.
V: Yeah, but Im just saying it because its in the script...
Dir: Could you just fall off the waterfall already?!
V: No way! You try falling off a waterfall into hell and being deprived of your insane brother for a few years!
Dir: No way! Besides, I dont have a brother..
V: Another reason for falling off the cliff.
Vergil walks to the pizza store out of the scene.
D: Hey bro, where ya going?
V: *sigh* To the pizza store.
D: YAY!!! Pizza!!!!!!
N: Is he always like that for pizza?
Dir: Why ask?
L: Hey guys! I saw some pizzas on special and here they are!! Enjoy!
N: Pizza? This is what pizza is?
L: Have you never seen pizza before?
N: No.
Dir: Hes from Fortuna. They dont eat pizza, actually they dont have pizza over there.
Dante bardges in and runs over to Nero.
D: Youve never eaten pizza before!? Are you crazy!?
N: ..... WTF!?
D: I hate people who never ate pizza!!!
Nero and Dante start fighting.
V: Wheres the party?
 
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