Devil May Cry Bloopers!

[DemonSlayer6]

Re: Bloopers!

Haha!! That one was really funny! !!
Stage 12: Geryon

D: A chicken race with a horce huh? Sounds fair enough.
Geryon: .....huh?
D: ****!! You can talk too!!??
Geryon: Im still... getting... a basic teaching of English.
D: Cool!! (Jumps on Geryon and hugs him)
V: Ive gotta take a picture of this!
Vergil holds his camera and takes a picture of Dante hugging Geryon and showing the peace sign. 2 fingers and smiling.
Vergil puts the pic in an envelope and sends it to his dad in Hell.
Sparda: Huh? A letter? I wonder whats inside...
He opens the letter and his jaw drops flat to the ground.

 

[morrigan]

Re: Bloopers!

WOW! It's awesome! Hey, you do really fun stories... Reeep +

 

[DemonSlayer6]

Thanks Morrigan!!
Dante on holiday with Vergil after DMC3 hits stores:

Dante relaxing on the beach while Vergil is checking out chicks.
D: Hey, I want a pizza...
V: Cut off!
D: What the hell is going on!!??
V: This demon is harrasing me!!
D: Hahahahahah!!!
V: Okay.... whats so funny??
Director: I should put this in the game. (Holds camera on shoulder and records the whole scene) Release the dog.
Cerberus: Grrraaaa!!!!
D: What the ****!!??
V: .....huh?.....
C: No!! Im melting!!! The sun!!! The beach!!!???
L: Doggy!!! No!!! I loved you!!!
Dante and Vergil start laughing.

 

[morrigan]

Cool!

Once upon a time Vergil has decided to joke with Lady. (don't laugh...It's just the begining) He made his hair in Dante's style, took Dante's clothes, Rebellion and E&I.

(late evening)
L: (opens the door) Hi. What's up?
V: Hey, babe. I just missed you.
L: Really?
V: Yep. (he put his hand near her head) You looks so beautiful tonight...
L: Come in.
V: (goes into) I love a fast woman.
L: (sits down on the sofa) You…
Dante (goes from the shower) Thanks, Lady. I feels better after that weird thing with my clothes and weapon... (he notices Vergil) WHAT THE HELL??? Back my clothes, Vergil! Right now!!!

Vergil and Dante start fighting.

L: Ooh! I've never expected that this night will so funny! (Dante and Vergil fall near you legs) Wow! It's my kind of rain!

 

[DemonSlayer6]

Hahahah!!! That was really funny!!! :lol:
Stage 20: Arkhams death

A: I was supposed to be a god! I sacrificed a woman so I can become a legend! That is all... is it really that awful?
L: Ofcourse it is you a$$ho**!!!! You killed my damn mother!!! She meant everything to me!!!
A: Mary!!! Please help me!!!
L: Never!! You can never call me Mary!! My name is lady....
N: (Behind the studio) Sniff....(Eating popcorn) sniff.... no!!! Dont!!!
Nero runs in the scene and moves Arkham out of the way and stands infront of lady.
L: Die!!!! (Eyes are closed)
In slow motion she shoots Nero.
Kyrie: Noooooo!!!!! (Pushes Nero out of the way and gets shot)
Director: What the ****!!!!????
N: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
L: Ooops...
V: @#$$&**~. I hope theres gona be a chick fight...
D: I hate it when you say that word with the #$@ whatever!!!
V: ......
N: You will pay!!! (Shoots lady)
A: .....and me?.....

 

[morrigan]

It's great! Goood! )

 

[DemonSlayer6]

DMC4 Cut scene: Dantes break-in

Dante breaks through the window on the ceiling.
Credo: What the ****!? Who the **** are you!?
D: I thought youd ask.
Credo: Could you just tell me your name?
N: I didnt know you swear so much Uncle Credo!
Arkham: Is your name Dante? Son of Sparda?
D: Where did you hear that from?
Credo: Dante? Then who is that ugly guy there? (Points at Arkham)
A: Grrrrrrr!!
D: Easy Fido! He is Arkham my best enemy buddy!
V: (Breaks in through the glass from ceiling)
A: Damn you!!
V: You must come to realise you cannot control his power.
D: There you go again stealing my spotlight..... bro? Is that you? I missed ya pal!!!
Dante hugs Vergil.
V: Do you always embaress me like this!? I just fell off a ****** waterfall for damn sake!!
D: Sniff... but I missed ya... sniff.
V: Why lie, I missed ya too!!!!
Dante and Vergil hug.
N: Why not jump in?
Nero hugs Dante and Vergil too.
V: Who the heck is this guy?
Kyrie: Now look! There are 2 holes in the ceiling! This time I am not repairing it!!
L: I will!! (Lady holds a hammer and work hat and walks through to the scene)
Director: *sigh* Why not Credo play Dante instead?
D: #$$^&**#@!!!!?????
V: I thought him that!

 

[morrigan]

Hahahahaha!!!! It was crazy!!! Ha-ha... You makes me cry... Oop! It's awesome!

 

[DemonSlayer6]

Stage 9: The beginning

Leviathen mistakely lands on lady and squashes her flat to, inside the ground.
D: So this is the next stage...
L: Wait!
D: Look, if your asking for a date, forg........ WTF!!??
N: I really dont care for guys who stink like blood.
D: What the **** are you doing!? Where the hell is lady!?..... and please take that damn top and skirt off when your done Nero.....
Director: You have to do the scene with Nero Dante!! Lady got squashed by leviathen here!
D: Cant Vergil do the part?
V: Ummmmmm, no he cant. He said he went to your joint!
D: Oh sh**!!!!
Dante runs out of the scene and runs to his store covered in blood.
Director: Now whos gonna do the part?
Kyrie: I dont mind...
Director: Nero, youre Dante!! Switch!!
N: Geez. This damn wig wont come off...
V: Ive gotta take a pic of this.
Vergil appears from nowhere at the stage and takes a picture of Nero struggling to take his wig off.
V: Hehehehe...
Vergil puts it in a letter and sends it to Sparda.
S: Another letter? Hmmmm, I wonder what inside....
He opens the letter, "Hi dad, this is Dante again."
And the pic comes up.
S: ....... what has gotten into my son?.......
D: There you are Verg!!
V: Oh crap... Im getting some pizza Dante...
D: Yay!!! Pizza!!! Im coming with!!!
V: Wow, Im saved.
N: DAMN YOU WIG!!!!
Arkham: Daughter!!! Mary!!!
L: Dont ever call me that again!!! (Shoots Arkham from underneath leviathen)
Director: Im getting new actors. The rst can go to hell.

 

[DemonSlayer6]

Stage 13: Ending

A: Impressive
Dante, Vergil, and lady are pointing guns or swords at Arkham.
A: But arent you for...
D: Impress this!
Dante impales Arkham right in the stomach.
L: .......
V: Nice one bro, now how are we gonna do the damn part!?
Director: Are you mentally retarded!?
D: I heard that!!
Dante jumps and attacks the director.
V: My brother. I better add this to the family album...
L: ...... papa?......
Lady asks and then bursts out crying.
V: I thought you hated his living guts...
L: Waaaa.. I used to! Now.. hes dead!!!
A: Hahahahaha!!! I cant beleive you actually loved me Mary!!!
L: Whats... whats going on?
A: Mary, Im so sorry about your dear mother, pure and innocent.... hahahahaha!!!
D: WTF?
V: WTF?
L: A$$Ho**!!!
Lady shoots Arkham and does the stage 20 part where she says, "and here I thought I was never gonna cry"
N: This si so dramatic.... sniff....
D: You guys are such softies! Especially you Nero!
N: I cant help it, I also loved my dad...
L: NO!! Papa!!
V: Stupid. You shot your own father and now your crying for him.
D: I never knew you knew your father...
Nero jumps on Dante and they both start fighting eachother.

 

[morrigan]

Two days till release of DMC4... Nero, Kyrie and members of the Order are hiding in the Temple of Sword.

Credo: Hm... We can't defend Fortuna from Dante's fans. They already destroyed Capcom buildings.
Nero: We must fight! For our faith!
Credo: I'm the Leader of the Order... And I'm saying... now it's time to RUN! (members of the Order are packing their weapons).
Nero: We must fight! For Capcom!!!!
Kyrie: Nero... Enough!
Nero: (surprised) Kyrie... I love you...
K: Enough already!!! I hate you!!! I hate Capcom!!! They made me foolish doll for your... for your satisfaction! (she cries). I'm leaving you.
Nero: KYYYRRIIIIEEEEE!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!

Dante appears and kills all members.

Kyrie: Nero! Save me!
Nero: Kyrie!
Kyrie: NERO!
Nero: KYRIE!
K: NNNEEERROOOO!!!
N: KKYYRRRIIIEEE!!!
D: DAANNNTTEEEE!!!! (Nero and Kyrie are shocked and they look at him). What? You can scream yours names and I can't??? Ooh. That was cool.
K: Save me, Nero! (hiding behind Nero's back) SA-A-AVE ME!
D: Stop screaming! I already killed them all.
K: (insulted) I'm not screaming... I'm singing...
N: I must fight, Kyrie. Go away... (nothing happens)... Kyrie, let me fight... (she looks at Dante and doesn't move) Kyrie!
K: Ah... He's so...So... I'm melting...
N: WHATTT???
D: Ha! That's a switch! Don't forget to give my best regards to your brother, babe! See you! (Kyrie turns red and goes away).
N: Now I know...
D: Silent! I have a headache after your screams... Let's play!
N: But...
D: No talking.
N: I...
D: No talking!
Nero takes the Red Queen.
D: Good!

 

[Trish67]

DMC 3 - after cerberus battle

Cerberus: you, you are not human are you?
Dante: no duh fido
director: no you're supossed to say "i'm not sure myself."
Dante: shut up! (shoots the director)
Director: you shot me! ow!
(director falls 5 stories)
could someone please help me?! I'm still alive but i'm very badly injured. I think my legs maybe broken. I'll try to stand. OW! nope broken! could somebody send down a vital star or a gold orb, i am in very large amount of pain!

DMC 3 - Before first Vergil Battle

Dante: you sure know how to throw a party. No food. No drinks and the only babe just left.
Vergil: my sincerist appologies brother, i was so anixious to see you i couldn't concerntrate on preperations for the bash.
Dante: anyway it's been nearly a year since we last met, How about a kiss from your little brother, or better yet...how about some hot butt sex?
Vergil:......
*My ex came up with that one*

DMC 2

Lucia: Maiter! Where is Maiter?!
Dante: Hey Red!
Lucia: Maiter!
Dante: Hey red!
Lucia: Huh?
Dante: yes i'm talking to you red.
Lucia: what is it son of sparda?
Dante: what's this map i have here, and by the way my name's Dante. And you're?
Lucia: I'm Lucia. you were called here on a mission which Maiter will explain once i find her. your skills are legend Dante.
Dante: yeah whatever. Just find her. The sooner i figure out why i am here, the sooner i can finish the mission, get paid and then go back to new york.

DMC 1

Trish zaps Dante.
Dante: Trish? what the...
Trish zaps the nightmare. she then ambushes Dante, pushes him to the ground and they begin kissing firecley.
Director: CUT!!!!
Dante and Trish inorge the director and keep on kissing.
CUT!!!!!
Dante pulls out ebony and shoots the director. the director dies. Trish and Dante keep making out.

DMC 3
Dante: sorry but this is no place for a little girl. so beat it.
Lady: shut up.
Vergil: you side with humans? you are still naive, Dante?
Dante: hey if we lose the girl now whose the winner gonna F*** after the party?

 

[Vergilissexy]

Haha I loved that hott but sex part. XDXD And the last one where Dante asked who the winner was gonna f**k.

 

[Trish67]

thank you!

 

[Vergilissexy]

You're welcome. ^^

 

[DemonSlayer6]

Stage 5: Agni & Rudra

A: Look brother! Its been ages but we finally have company!
R: Yes, I can see that! We must entertain our guest...
A: What should we do?
R: I dont know we have to come up with something...
D: *sigh*
R: Look brother, our guest is sighing...
A: Sigh? What is sigh?
R: Well a sigh is when someone goes like this, "sigh"
A: .....ummmmmm.....
Director: Dante.. say the part..
R: Well a sigh is when...
D: Oh c'mon!! Howcome you guys are brothers and you love eachother so much!?
R: .....
A: .....
D: I know I have problems, If only Verg and I could get along...*Cries*
V: Brother!
D: Brother!
V: Brother!
V and D do the slow motion runn'hug scene.
A: Are we going to do the part or what?
R: Im going for some pizza.
D: PIZZA!!!
Dante lets go of Vergil and runs to the pizza store.
V: Why do I bother?
Director: Here we go again with pizza.

 

[morrigan]

It's pretty funny. Ha-ha.

The same scene..

Rudra comes to the stage.
Director: Where is Agni?
R: He's ill. Let someone replace him today.
Dir: Ok. Dante! Vergil! Come here...
V: What's going on? (Dante eats pizza)
Dir: Agni is ill. You both replace the Devil brothers.
D: Ok. Let's play!
V: Look brother! Its been ages but we finally have company! Let's fun!
D: Yes, I can see that! But where are the girls? We must entertain our guest...
V: What should we do? Kill him?
D: I dont know we have to come up with something... cruel!
R: *sigh*
D: Look brother, our guest is sighing...
V: Sigh? How boring... He must be angry! But just sigh?... Foolish, Rudra,foolish...Ok. What the hell is sigh?
D: Who cares? Let's kill him!

 

[DemonSlayer6]

Hehe, that was funny! :lol:
Stage 7: After Vergil battle

V: Why do you refuse to gain power? The power of our father Sparda?
D: Father, I don.... wait, I do have a father.
Dir: You supposed to say I dont have a father!
D: Dude, that would be stupid! Everyone knows I have a father already!
Dir: Why do you and I always argue like this?
V: Because you suck. (Looks at director)
N: This game seems to be taking a while to make...
D: Yeah, because of this dumb director.
V: I dont blame ya for calling him dumb.
L: Maybe I could be of some assistance!
D: ....your joking....
L: ....why should I be joking?
N: Let me be the new director!
Nero writes out new parts for Dante and Vergil.
N: Throw in the rain!
V: Why do ya refuse to gain power? The power of the great....Nero?
N: Hehehe...
D: Damn, well he is our new director.
L: Sorry the rain stopped guys, the water bill showed up and it seems like the director didnt pay the bill yet.
D&V: Hehehe...
N: Do they always get away with something?
L: It comes up to 100$.
N: A 100!? You gotta be kidding! How much of water did we use?!
L: Why would I be kidding?
Dante and Vergil start laughing their guts out while Nero is signing and paying the water bill.

Continuation stage....: Dantes break-in

Nero and Dante are busy in a fight while Vergil is standing on the side speaking to the director drinking tea.
V: I never knew you were going to get Dante back in the sequel. I thought it was going to be me.
Dir: Yeah, I thought so too.
V: Well you left an e-mail on my pc saying Im going to be in the game.
Dir: Well it was my mistake...
V: (Chokes on tea and holds throat)
D: Brother!!!
N: Brother?
D: (Runs toward Nero)
N: Im... Im your brother? (Face begins to shine in touchment)
D: Nooooooo!!
Nero opens his arms for a huge hug and dante runs passed him to help Vergil get the tea out from his system.
V: Thanks bro.
D: Dont mention it! I did owe ya from the waterfall thing...
V: Aaaah!! Dont bring that up!!
Dante and Vergil start fighting while Nero is speaking to the director drinking tea.
N: These twins are totally wierd.
Dir: Tell me about it...

 

[morrigan]

Dante, Vergil, Trish, Lady, Nero and Kyrie in the Devil's bar.


D: Huh. Nero pays for all.
N: ...?!? Why??
D: Because you kicked me.
N: So what? Vergil will pay! He tried to kill you many times.
V: Hmm... Why must I pay? Lady tried to kill Dante too.
L: Ha! I didn't know him...And I just tried to save my life from the demon. Let Trish to pay for all..
T: Why me?
D: You betrayed me...
T: No! I saved your life after all... Remember? I gave you my power and saved you from Mundus!
D: She's right. Nero...
N: No way.
All of them turn to Kyrie...
K: Me???...

 

[DemonSlayer6]

Hehehehe.... that was REALLY funny!!:lol:
Stage 20: Waterfall part

V: Dante, this belongs to a son of Sparda.
D: So? Im not gonna take it anyway, because your gonna fall off a damn cliff.
V: Yeah, but Im just saying it because its in the script...
Dir: Could you just fall off the waterfall already?!
V: No way! You try falling off a waterfall into hell and being deprived of your insane brother for a few years!
Dir: No way! Besides, I dont have a brother..
V: Another reason for falling off the cliff.
Vergil walks to the pizza store out of the scene.
D: Hey bro, where ya going?
V: *sigh* To the pizza store.
D: YAY!!! Pizza!!!!!!
N: Is he always like that for pizza?
Dir: Why ask?
L: Hey guys! I saw some pizzas on special and here they are!! Enjoy!
N: Pizza? This is what pizza is?
L: Have you never seen pizza before?
N: No.
Dir: Hes from Fortuna. They dont eat pizza, actually they dont have pizza over there.
Dante bardges in and runs over to Nero.
D: Youve never eaten pizza before!? Are you crazy!?
N: ..... WTF!?
D: I hate people who never ate pizza!!!
Nero and Dante start fighting.
V: Wheres the party?