Ugh. I'm SORRY. I tried to finally read your story, I really did. I persevered past the Dante daddy concept, and the bad writing in general, and yes there were parts that had me giggling. I stopped reading at the 'as all adults who leave their underage child alone give them rules to obey while they are gone' part. If you meant underage as in a tween, it'd be cool. But you're talking about a 4 year old here. Wtf. Who would leave a 4 year old alone at home?!
Pity. It took me over a year to read your story and with one and a half chapters to go, I couldn't be bothered to finish reading it.
Write what you know, child!!! Agh! What a waste of time