My sister was diagnosed at 38 with what we like to call Super ADHD. Both conditions are harder to diagnose in females and she had to go private to get any sort of clinical help - I was there for the diagnostic process and it does indeed include childhood stuff, but that could vary from country to country. Her grades as a kid were always stellar but her behaviour could be slightly problematic in that she always had an answer for everything, talked back a bit, took lots of risks etc. She has destructive behaviours like the aforementioned risk taking, excessive drinking, and also is constantly on high alert, so her body is in a permanent state of stress. She and our mother (she calls her my mother now) have a terrible relationship, although nothing even close to wha you've experienced, and that has had an impact due to the way she perceived her upbringing in relation to things now.
She also is horribly forgetful, talks non stop sometimes about all kinds of things, whether they are pertinent to the conversation or not, doesn't sleep much, is highly self critical and has some other underlying things like possible dyslexia and a thing with her brain to do with the midline which means everything is literally crossed wires most of the time.
She was both relieved and gutted when she was diagnosed, and she keeps an eye on her two girls just in case. To be honest, one of mine is learning disabled and autistic so we've already got stuff in the family; my sister thinks I should be tested for ADD but my thinking is that I've managed this long, what difference would it make now? There's been some speculation that my amygdala didn't develop properly as a baby due to emotional neglect, but again I've managed this far and I haven't killed anyone...I think...
Tl;dr if you think you can get a decent clinician who will get it done in a decent timeframe, it might be worth getting evaluated. If nothing else, it'll give you peace of mind and keep you informed. Perhaps the first port of call would be a general doctor? I don't know how Finnish healthcare works, but in the UK the NHS can take up to two years to diagnose (currently) but privately takes 4 hours. Go figure.
Thanks. My grades were really good during my elementary school years, and I never had troubles learning things. I wasn't particularly interested in homework or stuff like that, but somehow I managed to get 95-100 % points from almost every exam. So that's probably why no one ever had any reason to suspect I'd have any issues like ADD or such, even though I was always that lass who didn't know how to behave and couldn't stay still or silent. In early classes, I was the
only girl to ever get detention, and I really didn't mean to disturb the class or anything. It just sort of happened.
I have some similar traits to your sister. You know, I always have an opinion on stuff and I tend to speak it out even though no one asks for it. I have troubles waiting for other people and even waiting them to finish their sentences – in my view, many people are talking soooo slooooowlyyyyyyy
It was really an eye-opener for me when I met a person who nowadays is my friend, and during our very first contact she was like "Whoa you're talking so fast", and people around me (who knew me already) were like "Yeah, she does... better get used to it". I never realized I'm talking so fast people actually have troubles understanding me. Nowadays I'm consciously trying to slow my words down and I still don't know if I sound like a retard or a normal person.
I'm also a risk-taker, not going further in that, but in contrast to it, I don't actually have any recognized self-harm-type behaviour. Used to have that some years ago though. I don't have any problems with alcohol or such, but that's more of a mother-relation thing – I've never been drunk, and I only drink a glass of wine when it's a special occasion. It's simply because I despise my mother so much that I don't want to act like her in anything.
And yeah, I'm forgetful – at work, I have to keep a record of my every task to remember what was I doing and what was the due date. A paper calendar is a life-saver for me. I have a photographic memory when it comes to studying and stuff, which is incredibly convenient in law school, but I cannot remember what I said to a person yesterday. Also, like I said, I have the frustrating ability of forgetting what was I saying in the middle of sentence.
People who don't understand it tend to laugh at my horrible memory, it has caused social difficulties, it has been weaponized against me and so on (like I forgot stuff on purpose...), and I'm really trying to make it better.
Talking too much and being self-critical... yeah, that's me. Self-criticism is something I really had to battle with, but I think that's also a childhood thing as well – when your own mother tells you every day during your child and teenage years that you're no good, you should've never been born, you're only a burden to her and to the world, you're certainly wh*ring on the street, you should die etc, it leaves a mark to your self-respect. Nowadays it's a lot better, but I still have some issues with it.
I think I'm going to mention it at the maternity clinic on my next appointment. Finnish healthcare system is really slow and the queues for stuff like this can be 3-6 months in a normal situation, and now that we have COVID... Well, I think it's best to prepare for getting an appointment from the private sector.
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