What are you doing?Either at home,work or somewhere.

[Marionette Cherry]

Swap you. It's freezing here and I wouldn't mind a bit of sun.

Take it for as long as you want.

 

[Rayl]

Well i'm considering whether to go out or not today, the snow is coming down pretty hard right now and i'm not sure i want anything to do with it.

 

[V]

Yah, he runs the charity I work for, but I only have to legally do a face-to-face once a year for the records. We get along ok now - mostly just banter, no real conversation - and he's mellowed some since my boys were born because he always wanted sons and got daughters instead...but I find it kind of hard to let go of things like my sister (2 years older than me) sitting in a pub with me and dad when I was 15 and stating she's dad's favourite and he just nods in agreement. And I'm right there. Stupid stuff like not being allowed to take part in conversations those two have or walking slightly behind them both so I don't bother them. It's little but grinds you down eventually...

And my dad doesn't do confrontation, hence the letter. I didn't talk to him for a year after that and it took a long time for me to pick up the phone or write. But surprise, surprise, I did it first, not him. There have been times he's definitely been there for me and I think most of that stems from guilt. But we're both still alive so you never know - we might recover some semblance of the relationship we ought to have had. I dunno, really...

Gah, I know the favouritism thing. Since there was never much proper contact with my mother because she and my dad hate each other, I know my real dad saw a lot more of my oldest half brother at the time. I remember when I was quite young he would make the effort to get me a birthday present or a Christmas present, but a few times he actually asked for the presents back the next year so he could give it to a different kid. Lol. Of course my brother always had the latest bike or game console, I had to wait till I was old enough to get a job to get my own.

He never gave me much money (and no child maintenance) either... the only time he did he gave me £100 in a saving account, and when he found out I spent it, he hit the roof. Probably not a good idea to give a kid who hardly ever got pocket money £100, if they're not supposed to ever use it...

I wasn't so bothered about it at the time, but now I'm actually really angry about it, when it's most irrelevant. Not so much the stuff I never got that other siblings did, but I remember some of the things he said... make me realize what a hypocrite he was. Like, one time he went off on one when we were kids about how much he HATES liars. Like, lying is the worst sin ever to him, liars are disgusting people, etc. And for 2 years after he said he was actually saving up pocket money for me and my brother in an account book. I didn't ask about it for years, or ask for this 'money' he was going to give me (I honestly wasn't the type of kid who hassled for things, but I was secretly looking forward to eventually being able to get something big if he was saving for me). Then when I eventually did ask about how much there must be in the book after all this time, he just laughed and in all seriousness said "you don't visit me enough so you're not getting it. I haven't been putting it away for you." Even though I was only about 12 or 13 at the time, I think that was the turning point where I just realized fully, this guy is a d*ck. And I stopped visiting almost completely, because I just... didn't like him.

It wasn't the money at all, it was the trust. And the hypocrisy. Or integrity, or something. And the fact he always seemed to blame me for money-related problems... which was just weird. I was only a kid. So I spent some money one time he gave me. You'd think I'd set fire to his dog, the way he reacted to it. Another time (this is how long ago) he went halves to get me an Atari with my mother, and she sent it off to a mailing company, which then went bust, and they lost the money. His reaction to that was to say to ME (who knew nothing about it) "that's the last time I ever give you a lump sum..."

He still personally blames me for that. He must have something wrong in his brain.
-__-

And this time, he's claiming he has the 'right' to wish me a happy birthday or something, whether I like it or not. Sounds like he just wants to impose himself, and it's not about caring at all.

I wish he would go away.

 

[Angel]

Gah, I know the favouritism thing. Since there was never much proper contact with my mother because she and my dad hate each other, I know my real dad saw a lot more of my second youngest half brother at the time. I remember when I was quite young he would make the effort to get me a birthday present or a Christmas present, but a few times he actually asked for the presents back the next year so he could give it to a different kid. Lol. Of course my brother always had the latest bike or game console, I had to wait till I was old enough to get a job to get my own.

He never gave me much money (and no child maintenance) either... the only time he did he gave me £100 in a saving account, and when he found out I spent it, he hit the roof. Probably not a good idea to give a kid who hardly ever got pocket money £100, if they're not supposed to ever use it...

I wasn't so bothered about it at the time, but now I'm actually really angry about it, when it's most irrelevant. Not so much the stuff I never got that other siblings did, but I remember some of the things he said... make me realize what a hypocrite he was. Like, one time he went off on one when we were kids about how much he HATES liars. Like, lying is the worst sin ever to him, liars are disgusting people, etc. And for 2 years after he said he was actually saving up pocket money for me and my brother in an account book. I didn't ask about it for years, or ask for this 'money' he was going to give me. Then when I eventually did ask about how much there must be in the book after all this time, he just laughed and said "you don't visit me enough so you're not getting it." Even though I was only about 12 or 13 at the time, I think that was the turning point where I just realized fully, this guy is a d*ck.

-__-

I've never asked for a thing from my father - I actually cannot make myself do it. My sister has tapped him for cash left, right and centre, but I've never demanded or even asked to borrow a penny. And yet somehow I ended up being seen as the selfish money-grabbing sibling...my sister has gotten cars, flats and loan repayments off him - even holidays to Disneyland in Paris. I've not even asked for the cost of a postage stamp. Go figure.

He's tried to make more of an effort since I began producing sons, but at 55, he's just not got enough motivation in him to change how he sees the world. Still cannot help himself but criticise me and how I do things - yet he'll tell other people nice things about me. If it's that shameful to admit I'm not as bad as he thinks, why not at least put it in an email or something? The only correspondence we've ever exchanged about things that matter have been ones where he tells me what a disappointment I am and how he wishes I was more like my sister. Parents are...weird.

Oh, and he got out of paying maintenance to my mother too - she's effectively owed 8 years' worth of money. It was his selfishness that made me homeless for a while...if he had coughed up, we could have afforded to keep our home and we wouldn't have had it sold from under us just so he could have more money. But naturally, that's all my fault somehow...

 

[V]

I've never asked for a thing from my father - I actually cannot make myself do it. My sister has tapped him for cash left, right and centre, but I've never demanded or even asked to borrow a penny. And yet somehow I ended up being seen as the selfish money-grabbing sibling...my sister has gotten cars, flats and loan repayments off him - even holidays to Disneyland in Paris. I've not even asked for the cost of a postage stamp. Go figure.

He's tried to make more of an effort since I began producing sons, but at 55, he's just not got enough motivation in him to change how he sees the world. Still cannot help himself but criticise me and how I do things - yet he'll tell other people nice things about me. If it's that shameful to admit I'm not as bad as he thinks, why not at least put it in an email or something? The only correspondence we've ever exchanged about things that matter have been ones where he tells me what a disappointment I am and how he wishes I was more like my sister. Parents are...weird.

Oh, and he got out of paying maintenance to my mother too - she's effectively owed 8 years' worth of money. It was his selfishness that made me homeless for a while...if he had coughed up, we could have afforded to keep our home and we wouldn't have had it sold from under us just so he could have more money. But naturally, that's all my fault somehow...

Were you the oldest? Because the 'reason' I hear a lot was "you're the oldest, we didn't know what we were doing back then" or "I was poor back then". But I know there's only four years between me and my brother, and I know he was getting everything he wanted at the time... I think in reality he just liked his other kids more, and I was the one that lived with the woman that he hated/hates him, so it was an awkward situation... and that's always great for a kid's development :/. (But also, he split up with the 2 other people he had kids with... I think he's just an insufferable man ^_^)

I never asked for anything either. I only expected something if I'd been told I was going to get something, and after what happened I didn't trust him to be true to his word ever again, and I still don't. Seems as though if I actually accept proferred help from family, I'm setting myself up to be crucified for it later in some way.

It's strange to see some people in some families sucking up to relatives, because they know if they're nice to them they'll get left the house, or an inheritance or something. I know I won't get jack, so there's no need to suck up... I couldn't physically do that either, I'm too proud.

 

[Angel]

Were you the oldest?

I was the youngest - my family have never been huggy-huggy close anyway, but I can count on one hand the number of times throughout my childhood and right up until now where my dad has shown any form of affection towards me. I remember falling into a patch of nettles face-first when I was about 7...I was screaming my head off, my dad came running, asked what happened and then told me off for wasting his time when it was nothing. But to a seven year old a face full of stinging nettles isn't nothing, you know? I think I just exasperated him on a stellar level because I was painfully shy, very clingy and quite an emotional child. My dad does not do emotions. I remember when I lost my twins and he asked how I was in a routine phone conversation; I burst into tears down the phone and he just kind of went, "um...ah..yes. Well speak to you soon" and hung up. I get that those sorts of things can be uncomfortable but hells bells, he's supposed to be my dad and they were his future grandchildren, you know? Confuses the hell out of me how someone can be so selfish as to brush aside another person's upset because it inconveniences them...

His dad apparently was EXACTLY the same but on a grander scale and my dad despised him until the day he died. Interesting, isn't it? Makes me all the more determined not to be that way with my kids.

 

[V]

I was the youngest - my family have never been huggy-huggy close anyway, but I can count on one hand the number of times throughout my childhood and right up until now where my dad has shown any form of affection towards me. I remember falling into a patch of nettles face-first when I was about 7...I was screaming my head off, my dad came running, asked what happened and then told me off for wasting his time when it was nothing. But to a seven year old a face full of stinging nettles isn't nothing, you know? I think I just exasperated him on a stellar level because I was painfully shy, very clingy and quite an emotional child. My dad does not do emotions. I remember when I lost my twins and he asked how I was in a routine phone conversation; I burst into tears down the phone and he just kind of went, "um...ah..yes. Well speak to you soon" and hung up. I get that those sorts of things can be uncomfortable but hells bells, he's supposed to be my dad and they were his future grandchildren, you know? Confuses the hell out of me how someone can be so selfish as to brush aside another person's upset because it inconveniences them...

His dad apparently was EXACTLY the same but on a grander scale and my dad despised him until the day he died. Interesting, isn't it? Makes me all the more determined not to be that way with my kids.

Anyone ever confronted him about it/tells him he's cold?I'm always interested when someone gets to hear what they're really like from an exasperated relative... but the reaction is usually denial or indignation.

I do think parents that don't actually really 'care' aren't that rare, but maybe he just is totally clueless with how to make someone else feel better, and nobody has ever convinced him it's something he should learn. I feel lucky in a sense that I ended up with my mother and not my father, although with her I couldn't get emotional trust going, with his constant emotional manipulation I think I'd have been a nervous wreck. In fact, I guess I'd rather have someone that didn't care at all than someone who pretended they did and tried to use it.

Do you tell him how you feel about that, or is it just a waste of time? I've told my parents my feelings on things I felt was unfair... in the most tactful way I could. My dad seems intent on reminding me he's my dad (but that's all) and he just got into an argument when I explained how he needs to learn some basic respect when talking to people (me included, I'm a person too); but he doesn't have much to come back with because he can't guilt me out or tower over me any more, heh. Although - he's really bad at it. Like... he can't argue for toffee, and I've made an artform of it having grown up with mother. And my mother is just... like, I dunno. I guess I'm too tired to bother bringing it up anymore with her. You can't really straighten stuff out with someone who is bipolar, or can't answer for the worst times because they can't even remember them.

 

[Angel]

He's been told - he just shuts down and does the whole, "I'm your father, you must respect me" thing. I think deep down he regrets a lot of things in his life, and maybe I am one of them, but he's very very proud and will never admit to being wrong. Took me years to realise that adults have to be sorry too sometimes, not just kids. My whole family is a little bit barking, to be honest

Telling my dad home truths never ends well. He just hides under the ever-shrinking umbrella of "I'm your father so I'm right". But that's his choice and I just get on with my life as it is. Got enough to deal with on a daily basis without having to accommodate his attitude as well...

 

[V]

Yeah, probably the best thing if there is no chance he would understand. It's the same for me - I just try to get on with my own life even if I get random messages from my dad claiming I make people suffer because I'm not communicating with them, but I don't get much out of the relationship except headaches so there doesn't seem a reason to bother any more. The 'I'm your father' thing might hold some water with me if he hadn't dumped me on my mum's doorstep way back. Blood isn't thicker than water, that's what he taught me. :troll:

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Laundry, ironing, checking forums, checking email, chatting with friends, plotting, browsing houses online, saving my cup countless times from Seth, and about to venture back into the realm of youtube for some hopefully interesting/exciting content that will distract me from the fact that I'M IRONING again.
And I'm doing all of this at the saem tiem. Har har.

 

[Shadow]

Gaming and waiting for Vergil's Downfall to download. =)

 

[Vergil'sBitch]

looking for a groom suit for daz/poser, I already have a wedding dress... my search isn't going well

 

[RisenProphet]

Watching "Psych" and " NUMB3RS" in my basement, with my dog.

 

[Shadow]

Hiding. I'm serious, too. I'm really hiding. And trying to write. And get rid of this headache.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Grabbing some coffee and biscuits so I can get cracking on I Hate Everything About You, The Order of Sparda and A Futile Second Chance. Would love to wrap these stories up before April.

 

[V]

Hotmail is trying to force outlook on me every time I log in, but if I click the banner above my inbox that says "Upgrade now!" It simply takes me to a page that says "Sorry, you cannot upgrade your account yet. Lolol". :troll:

That was a big dinner but I'm still hunting for treats.

 

[Angel]

Printing out my waterpark tickets, frantically re-checking my statement for the board of trustees and directors and trying to figure out what to cook for dinner.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Printing out my waterpark tickets, .

My mum was telling me about the waterpark last night. MAN I wish we had something like that over here

 

[V]

Last time I went to a waterpark, I got wet.

 

[Vergil'sBitch]

deciding when to go to bed and doing something else... but i don't know what...>.>