I feel like I've done something to distance myself from everyone here =/
You are being paranoid, my friend. You've done nothing of the sort!
CT: Why is it that every time I get back up on my feet, I get knocked down again by life? Okay, sure, I can deal with people not respecting me. I can deal with people not wanting to put the effort in for me. Who cares? Not me, I don't expect much of anyone when it's something for me really. I don't put my trust in people because they are not perfect and will let you down at one point or another. Life lesson learnt and lived well.
But why does life have to beat me where it hurts the most? I accept things as they are going to be from now on, and then out of the blue I have a total meltdown. I scrape myself up off the floor from that, put on a brave face, and now THIS. Like I'm not having it tough as it is. Like, you know, I haven't been put through enough heartache. How the hell am I supposed to wear a smile on my wedding day when I know THIS is happening?
And the worst yet of all is that I don't know whether to pray it happens while I'm there or once I'm gone. I don't want it to happen at all, but you can't evade the inevitable. Either way is selfish to ask for. Either way it's going to kill me inside. There's just no winning with death.