No internet still, will post when I can. But...while I have internet I've the need to share something. I've been in one of the most struggles in my life for a while now...and I've been quite depressed when I think to myself, and I hate it.
I haven't slept in a long time...
I haven't been me in a long time...
and it's getting worse when my family moves upstairs..
sex.
THAT'S MY STRUGGLE,
THEY HAVE SEX EVERY SINGLE ****ING NIGHT. IT WON'T STOP.
Kidding, it doesn't bother me, it's just when I do sleep I have worse dreams every night that I get caught up in them.
It feels real, seeing a person die over and over again, and I don't know who...
I have nightmares of going to hell, every night, it's the same thing. I see two kids bullying another child, I stop the fight, and the child's Dad comes up to me and thanks me...then for some reason he kills me.
WARNING IT GETS PRETTY GRUESOME AHEAD, BUT I NEED TO VENT, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
K now that's out of the way, I wake up in a huge line at some sort of hospital, everyone's clothes are charred; some of their bodies are burned and missing pieces if you get my meaning. When I got to the desk, a lady in a nurse outfit, and asks me to give her my soul...I do for some reason and she stamps it. I walk to my room my soul got stamped by, and close the door behind me, next thing I knew I was in a complete black room. A sign popped up that read "Incomplete Star", and a bed pops up from nowhere. My Dad, whom is deceased, is laid on the bed, and he gets up, turning to me. He seems happy at first, but then his skin starts to melt off leaving a white figure with no eyes and a mouth. I look up to see the people I've hurt in my past, and the people I've loved, hanging from chains. They catch on fire, and their ashes gets piled on the ground, by this time my Dad hadn't moved an inch yet. The ashes reform into their former appearance, but with the white figure, just same shape I suppose. They start to come after me, and hold me down as my Dad came into the group and grabbed me by my chin and started screaming at me, his mouth and eyes blaring a blinding light. The others and my Dad started ripping me apart, every single part of me, and throws it, allowing it to turn into liquid. It runs down the room and onto the bed, into some sort of a singularity. It formed another person, who was me, who was my soul..."I" recited the phrase "Incomplete Star." My soul woke up into Hell, I see other people walking a barren desert, people coming from the ground climbing their way up and gasping for air. The sun is completely black, but emitting light still, but a burning light that tears your skin and makes you boil. Walking in the desert with others, they are constantly screaming and begging to be forgiven for what they've done, that they shouldn't of went to the Nurse at the desk and have her stamp their souls...turns out it's just the beginning...to break you or something. Anyways, the others were in fear of something coming from the ground; the only thing coming from the ground are other lost souls. Eventually I fell into a hole, in which hands were sticking out of trying to stop you or tear you apart. But when I made it, chains caught me and suspended me in air, bounding me by each limb. I looked down to see a sea of people walking, random people being pulled out by demons and having their "fun" with them. Some got it easy by just having their limbs removed, others had it worse...heads were dipped into lakes of acid, literally kids in hell screaming for their parents because they killed them; all I could hear was everyone screaming, every single person in unison...anyways, from my chains I looked up towards what would be the sky, and see millions of others hanged by their neck...something cut my chains and I tried to hang on for dear life. I eventually fell again, but this time I landed in the sea of people, and followed them. I got pulled out by a demon, and forced to have my head lay down on a stand...while one of them bashes my head in with a huge ass club. Suddenly I was back in the sea of people, but feeling a huge headache, and kept walking...we reached a guy who separated us into other districts. When it was my turn he looked...confused, as if I didn't belong there. Once again he looks at me and says "Incomplete Star." he stamped my soul, and took me aside to offer me a deal...that if I torment those I loved when they reached hell I could be set free...I agreed. I looked at every person I was about to torment, and whisper in their ear "Say Incomplete Star...and agree to what he says." so I tortured them, stretched out their legs, ripped it apart and I laughed like a sick ****. When everyone I loved went past and got tortured by me...I was back as one of the people in the sea of other souls. I got tortured again, doubled, trippled, and it looped like that...except more torture each time. Every time I got tortured, I heard a voice going "I'm sorry." I get to the guy again, and he said "You shouldn't of told them that...offering your soul for them to torture won't get you out of here...no matter how much you've been tormented by your loved ones." I try to talk, look down and back up "I don't care how much I get tortured...they don't deserve it as much as I do...I'm an incomplete star. I'll be coming home." So it went on like that for what felt like thousands of years...I was in an never ending loop of being killed over and over again by those I've loved...I kept being offered to help take part of it. But I kept refusing.
I finally was complete...and I left Hell..I just remember being picked up by...you guessed it...a star. I was picked up to the skies, and left it...only for the dream to be repeating over and over and over again.
Sorry for bad writing and grammar..I'm tired..
