Anyone have a good joke?

[Meg]

I thought it'd be fun to have a thread where people can post random jokes they've seen or thought of. I'm quite a fan of terrible puns. My personal favorite is "plateaus are the highest form of flattery." :laugh:

I also pulled a prank on one of my close friends and co-workers by saying "I got a new job cleaning mirrors; it's something I can really see myself doing." She was not happy with me.

So yeah any jokes you have, please post! OH! Riddles too! Riddles are fun.

 

[Demi-fiend]

I told a feminist a joke once.

My trial begins on Monday.

 

[Angel]

Two elephants fell off a cliff.

Boom. Boom.

 

[Lain]

Would the future of the DMC franchise be a good one, or just in poor taste? :tongue:

Okay then, here's a decent one:
"What did the stolen teacup say?
...I've been mugged."

 

[absolitude]

capcom

 

[Meg]

Would the future of the DMC franchise be a good one, or just in poor taste? :tongue:

Okay then, here's a decent one:
"What did the stolen teacup say?
...I've been mugged."

:laugh::laugh::laugh: I love it!

 

[LordOfDarkness]

I usually like to say “You wanna know what’s a joke?...My life”.

 

[Teal]

Two frogs are standing on a rock in a pond. It starts raining. One frog turns to the other and says "We better dive in before qe get wet."

 

[AgentRedgrave]

So, when I was 12 I saw a cow for the first time. I was making such a big deal about it, then one of the girls finally had enough and was like "Oh my god we get it, can you shut up?" to which I said "Gee, don't have a cow" everyone laughed.

 

[Steve]

(Shamelessly lifted from reddit)

A wife walks in on her husband playing Call of Duty...

"The house is still filthy! I thought I asked you to sweep the house!" she says.

"I did" replied the husband, "I found no hostiles!"

 

[Xeroxis]

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Spoiler

My cheese

 

[Aisen66]

i got this one i made a long time ago beautiful meg
what did the cat think about
when he saw a baseball player
he thought cat in a hat

i have another one i made midway upon the journey of my life
what is the best part of the little mermaid,s body
her legs

i made up another one have any of you know about the jhonny cage movie
well is easy it has another name this movie
face off

 

[IttechGyan]

I never met a person who could hold a fart so long they could float.

Joke I heard as a kid and still to this day I cannot tell why it makes me laugh.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

I got knock, knock jokes.
But that's all I got, and ain't nobody got time for dat.

 

[berto]

Most jokes I know are Mexican jokes so...

I told a feminist a joke once.

My trial begins on Monday.

They'd linch me and I'm Mexican.

Mexican jokes are crude, offencive, raunchy, inappropriate and pretty hysterical so I don't think any of thems would qualify as kosher.

And so, since all the jokes I know would offend those sensitive ears of gringo college students so much it would give them cancer here's something a bit more wholesome... ish...

 

[DoomSlayer87_Sss]

Not a dirty joke i promise


What is brown and sticky ???

Spoiler

a stick

 

[Aisen66]

glue

 

[Aisen66]

why doesnt the devil eat pizza
because he doesnt know how to cry yet

 

[IttechGyan]

This made me laugh when I came across it today

 

[iamrmishra]

The wife to the husband:

-Tomorrow is our 20 years anniversary. Can we cook the pig?
-Why? It's not his fault.

...yeah.... can't think of anything better right now. All the other jokes I know are very offensive. (and funnier unfortunately)