The fact that I get easily annoyed or disturbed. That I'm highly defensive, that I'm like my father, that I do not forget something that bothers me and never fully let it go.
The fact that I still have dreams where I question peoples relations and why they did as they did. The fact I, whilst someone called me an idiot several times over while I tried to be reasonable pleaded for forgiveness just so that very same person and his brother can continue tormenting me with their disgusting behaviour.
I'm also very sick of being unable to do something, to being easily bored, to pretend that I have any friends, to pretend I am something and that I am nothing alone.
I'm sick of the people I used to hang out with, they had personalities in an array of colors like the rainbow, yet still none that saw a bond of friendship with me.
I'm sick of the ugly community who forces either opinion or participation in stuff I don't even care about.
I'm sick of my current social status with just about everyone, I'm not a friend, not a buddy, just a stepping stone.
I'm sick of the unfair treatment towards me, trying so hard to be so much to those I care about whilst getting inferior treatment in comparison to those who doesn't even try.
The worst part must be that I'm hoping too much, expecting too much. I often say that I don't expect much, but that is to not hurt anyone. Clinging to dim hopes, crying inside whenever it doesn't happen. Mixed feelings of depression, disappointment and rage.
There's probably more.