Let's talk about: bullies

[Rilgar]

Talk about your laugh riots....I had a miserable 5 years of this. While it wasn't the usual brand of bullying per se, I was the subject of a lot of taunts and put-down comments by 'friends;' they used to slag me because of what my interests and hobbies were, that I liked what seemed 'childish' to them even though I was barely a teenager then and hadn't yet turned into a 'grump aul women' like the rest of them. I was in an all-girls school of a age bracket of 12-17 year olds, and suffered the raw sensation of exclusion.

Everyone had their 'cleeks,' the group of be-allers who thought they were larger than life. I never got asked to hang out with others after school, and thus had a very small pool of 'friends,' if I could even call them that. As a only child, this sensation of being excluded and 'not being wanted' while in a class year that totalled to about 50ish people did get to me on dozens of occasions. Even one of the teachers passed a comment saying I was 'into all that weird stuff,' spoken in front of my peers. Some other teachers had it in for me too, a chemistry teacher in particular that used to always make me the subject of her anger, particularly first thing on a monday morning class and leave her 4 other precious students alone. Needless to say, because of her I now detest the subject and have dropped it in favour of something else.

So what could I do but get out of that hell hole, where 1st years (12-year-olds) regularly tore in each other in the school yard with such viciousness that even the useless teachers or senior cycle students wouldn't dare intervene. I got out of that hell hole and haven't regretted a day since. Though I have been influenced by my time there. I'm very cautious about sharing what I like with new people or even speaking about myself, and I have developed a preference for enjoying my own company. I'm just so sick and tired of trying to fit in with people who I clearly have nothing in common with....

 

[Ryuuou]

Talk about your laugh riots....I had a miserable 5 years of this. While it wasn't the usual brand of bullying per se, I was the subject of a lot of taunts and put-down comments by 'friends;' they used to slag me because of what my interests and hobbies were, that I liked what seemed 'childish' to them even though I was barely a teenager then and hadn't yet turned into a 'grump aul women' like the rest of them. I was in an all-girls school of a age bracket of 12-17 year olds, and suffered the raw sensation of exclusion.

Everyone had their 'cleeks,' the group of be-allers who thought they were larger than life. I never got asked to hang out with others after school, and thus had a very small pool of 'friends,' if I could even call them that. As a only child, this sensation of being excluded and 'not being wanted' while in a class year that totalled to about 50ish people did get to me on dozens of occasions. Even one of the teachers passed a comment saying I was 'into all that weird stuff,' spoken in front of my peers. Some other teachers had it in for me too, a chemistry teacher in particular that used to always make me the subject of her anger, particularly first thing on a monday morning class and leave her 4 other precious students alone. Needless to say, because of her I now detest the subject and have dropped it in favour of something else.

So what could I do but get out of that hell hole, where 1st years (12-year-olds) regularly tore in each other in the school yard with such viciousness that even the useless teachers or senior cycle students wouldn't dare intervene. I got out of that hell hole and haven't regretted a day since. Though I have been influenced by my time there. I'm very cautious about sharing what I like with new people or even speaking about myself, and I have developed a preference for enjoying my own company. I'm just so sick and tired of trying to fit in with people who I clearly have nothing in common with....

I was never able to confess to the one I fell in love with directly on school when I was at it for over 5 yearrs ago. yeah because of everyone else in teh classroom and her other friends aroudn her. If I only could be alone with her only. Good thing I danced once. I managed to build up courage to do that. Years after she appeared in my dreams until it faded. I had a scene on school where about 7 guys in my class where pushing me down on the ice. everytime I got up they pushed me down again and agian and again. I started to freak out and the kept doing it. It was so fun for them. So they did more. Ugh, I don't understand those people...But I was like Neo I stand up again EVERYTIME I CAN. As long as my heart and legs allows it.
Someone called me gay once and I rushed into him with my head into his stomach. He said whoa are you crazy. After that the whole school thought I was gay. Of course I were never gay. But see that rumours ****ed up my life.

Look at that. So easy is it to ruin someones life. Just spread bad rumours. I never felt like I had a single friend in my life either. I never stood that close to any person or human in my life. I hope I can do that someday...

 

[Loopy]

Just curious, but to parents of children, is it a concern that when having a child they might be bullied or be a bully? It's one of the things that really puts me off having children. I always wonder, what if my child made another child's life terrible, or got picked on themselves. Either way, I would feel terrible.I just don't know what I'd do as a parent if my child was bullied, I'd be torn up inside; and if my child was the bully, I'd be so ashamed.

Children are cruel for no reason and can pick on a child for the smallest thing; plus there's always the pressure to have a 'perfect child'...whatever that is.....seems like being a parent has become a competition. It shouldn't be like that at all.

Plus I have seen the nicest parents, but the child they have is a bully or a terrible brat and they don't know where they went wrong. I don't know if the child was spoiled...or are some children 'born bad' as they say? :/ Then there's the opposite with parents who neglect their children, but the children do so well at school and they are so kind and sharing.

 

[Tmfaria]

Bullying = Stupid. People who Bully = Stupider.

Enough said.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Just curious, but to parents of children, is it a concern that when having a child they might be bullied or be a bully? It's one of the things that really puts me off having children. I always wonder, what if my child made another child's life terrible, or got picked on themselves. Either way, I would feel terrible.I just don't know what I'd do as a parent if my child was bullied, I'd be torn up inside; and if my child was the bully, I'd be so ashamed.

Children are cruel for no reason and can pick on a child for the smallest thing; plus there's always the pressure to have a 'perfect child'...whatever that is.....seems like being a parent has become a competition. It shouldn't be like that at all.

Plus I have seen the nicest parents, but the child they have is a bully or a terrible brat and they don't know where they went wrong. I don't know if the child was spoiled...or are some children 'born bad' as they say? :/ Then there's the opposite with parents who neglect their children, but the children do so well at school and they are so kind and sharing.

Bullying is always a concern, more so when you're a parent, twice more so if you've been bullied. As a parent, it does tear you up inside to know your child is being bullied, but the upside is that you are no longer a child yourself. You can DO something about it. Unfortunately you can't smack the bully. You have to be all civil and stuff like that, and go through the school's 'procedures', etc. It makes you angry. If your kid is the bully, that's something you can work on straight away instead of waiting for other people to catch up.

As for children being cruel for no reason, I don't agree with that. Children aren't born bad, that's a very old myth that ancient people like my grandmother labelled children with special needs. Children are, in every sense, the advertisement of their home life. If a kid shouts and screams at others, he probably picked that up from his mum. If a kid slaps another kid in frustration or pushes them out of the way, probably because that's what they've been exposed to at home. I heard a three year old little kid scream 'f you' at one of the childminders at church once. He didn't learn that all by himself.

I do agree about parenting becoming some kind of sport where everyone has to bloat their kids' achievements and stuff to mega-size. You can't just share and chat about things anymore without another parent going 'our kid did this and that and so forth' in a way that is obvious that they're looking for approval or acknowledgement from others. I don't know WHAT is wrong with the world. I no longer feel like I can share simple little things anymore because other parents might see it as 'showing off', and it's not. I have a special needs child, who has gone from a screaming, tantrum-prone, non-verbal little girl into a clever, eager student who is excelling in reading in her class. But don't think I can share that family: if I posted on my FB that she brought home a certificate as reward for her efforts and tell everyone that her teacher is moving her to a higher reading level than any of the other kids in her class, the next thing I know other moms will be posting stuff like "so and so brought this home today" or " so and so did this wonderful thing for us", etc, you get what I mean right? I can't even post about the little things my hubby does for me or how I feel about him without having someone else suddenly spamming their page about how great their hubby is.
It's like... I dunno. Life is a contest? I barely have the energy just to get through the day, nevermind trying to compete with others.


As for nice parents and horrible kids: I know a couple. Their kid is such a little know-it-all, so arrogant and aaaarrgggghhh annoying! LOVE his mom though, she's so sweet! I know his mom's got a good heart, so he ought to have that too, it's just hard to see that when they're spoiled.

 

[Loopy]

Bullying is always a concern, more so when you're a parent, twice more so if you've been bullied. As a parent, it does tear you up inside to know your child is being bullied, but the upside is that you are no longer a child yourself. You can DO something about it. Unfortunately you can't smack the bully. You have to be all civil and stuff like that, and go through the school's 'procedures', etc. It makes you angry. If your kid is the bully, that's something you can work on straight away instead of waiting for other people to catch up.

It's a shame you can't just hit the bully upside the head, especially when school is so slow to do anything. They always have to follow proceedure, and by then it's just not good enough. Some schools seem more concerned for the bully than the victim and offer the bully counselling. I agree, children like that should be given some sort of anger managing or if it's a problem at home, then they might need someone to talk to, but to use that as an excuse not to punish them for what they did to another child is just ridiculous.

As for children being cruel for no reason, I don't agree with that. Children aren't born bad, that's a very old myth that ancient people like my grandmother labelled children with special needs. Children are, in every sense, the advertisement of their home life. If a kid shouts and screams at others, he probably picked that up from his mum. If a kid slaps another kid in frustration or pushes them out of the way, probably because that's what they've been exposed to at home. I heard a three year old little kid scream 'f you' at one of the childminders at church once. He didn't learn that all by himself.

Goodness, I'd never think children with special needs are born bad. But some children, I have no idea how they learned to do some of the terrible things when the parents are so nice and so shocked and upset by their own child's behaviour.

I do agree about parenting becoming some kind of sport where everyone has to bloat their kids' achievements and stuff to mega-size. You can't just share and chat about things anymore without another parent going 'our kid did this and that and so forth' in a way that is obvious that they're looking for approval or acknowledgement from others. I don't know WHAT is wrong with the world. I no longer feel like I can share simple little things anymore because other parents might see it as 'showing off', and it's not. I have a special needs child, who has gone from a screaming, tantrum-prone, non-verbal little girl into a clever, eager student who is excelling in reading in her class. But don't think I can share that family: if I posted on my FB that she brought home a certificate as reward for her efforts and tell everyone that her teacher is moving her to a higher reading level than any of the other kids in her class, the next thing I know other moms will be posting stuff like "so and so brought this home today" or " so and so did this wonderful thing for us", etc, you get what I mean right? I can't even post about the little things my hubby does for me or how I feel about him without having someone else suddenly spamming their page about how great their hubby is.
It's like... I dunno. Life is a contest? I barely have the energy just to get through the day, nevermind trying to compete with others.

It's such a shame you can't share with other parents without thinking it is boasting or comparing your child to theirs. Each child is an individual and should be given encouragement with everything they do and help when they struggle. There shouldn't be this sense of competition. It just makes everyone miserable.
I guess the best thing is show your girl how proud you are with how far she has come. If she knows it, then that's the most important thing. ^_^ I had to hide a few friends posts on FB because they were comparing their babies- their BABIES! Something about their motor skills being advanced and how one friend thought their child was gifted because it said a word early....>_<

As for nice parents and horrible kids: I know a couple. Their kid is such a little know-it-all, so arrogant and aaaarrgggghhh annoying! LOVE his mom though, she's so sweet! I know his mom's got a good heart, so he ought to have that too, it's just hard to see that when they're spoiled.

 

[Angel]

Just curious, but to parents of children, is it a concern that when having a child they might be bullied or be a bully? It's one of the things that really puts me off having children. I always wonder, what if my child made another child's life terrible, or got picked on themselves. Either way, I would feel terrible.I just don't know what I'd do as a parent if my child was bullied, I'd be torn up inside; and if my child was the bully, I'd be so ashamed.

Children are cruel for no reason and can pick on a child for the smallest thing; plus there's always the pressure to have a 'perfect child'...whatever that is.....seems like being a parent has become a competition. It shouldn't be like that at all.

Plus I have seen the nicest parents, but the child they have is a bully or a terrible brat and they don't know where they went wrong. I don't know if the child was spoiled...or are some children 'born bad' as they say? :/ Then there's the opposite with parents who neglect their children, but the children do so well at school and they are so kind and sharing.

As a parent, it's never been a concern of mine prior to having kids that they'd be bullied or become bullies - if you sat and thought about all the things that might go wrong in a child's lifetime, you'd never have any kids at all. I would say that the majority of parents wish nothing but the best for their kids but also that parenting comes with no manual to reference and what works for one kid won't work for another. However, once the kid gets to school age, then you start to naturally become more concerned that your kid might not make friends or might go out of their way to be mean to others in order to be noticed. My eldest was bullied, as I've previously mentioned, and I did things the legal way and it got resolved. The age she is now, however, makes it a bit tougher in my view because some teenagers don't seem to really give a toss about whether they get in trouble or not - and their parents care even less.

If any of my children became bullies and I were to be told of it, I'd be hugely disappointed in them because that's not how I raise my kids. The principles of our house rest mainly on the edict of "treat others how you would want to be treated" - I ensure that my daughter and I, insofar as it is possible, keep the lines of communication open. We regularly go out together without her brothers around and discuss what life is like for her at the moment, whether she has any concerns over anything etc. I'm fully aware that talking to your parents is not considered cool or even easy at times, so I've spent time establishing a network of responsible adults for her who she feels comfortable talking to about stuff and who know that if I need to hear it, then they will tell me. If Jessica was to be caught out bullying then two things would happen: her life, as she knows it, would be over for a while and the very first thing expected of her would be to pay a visit to the person(s) in question and their parents and apologise personally for her behaviour. I would also inform her school and request that they deal with it appropriately if necessary.

Until Jake joined a special needs school, bullying was high on my list of fears because of his disability and lack of communication. If someone were picking on him, he could never tell me and I was terrified he'd be in real trouble and no one would know. But thankfully he got into SEN school straight off and they've all got problems there so bullying simply does not happen. And as for Josh...well, yeah. He's still pretty little yet but he is certainly the more forceful of all my kids. It should be interesting to see how he turns out...

Children are pretty horrible to each other, that's true, and it's also part of growing up - asserting yourself, figuring out how to handle things as you grow older, learning what is a good way and a bad way of dealing with stuff. It's not necessarily down to any particular factors, it's just how ALL kids are at some point. With the best will in the world, parents cannot control or watch their kids the whole time and you just have to trust that the principles you have (hopefully) instilled in your child will come to the fore when they are faced with circumstances that cannot be immediately sorted by an adult. I have told my eldest that she is utterly responsible for her actions and reactions, but not those of other people. If she is behaving with the utmost decorum and treating others well then it is not her fault if those people turn out to be unpleasant and she is not to try and fix that. But if she is behaving in a manner which could be construed as inciting bullying, then the onus is on her to take responsibility for that and sort it out.

Those who treat parenting as a competition usually have insecurities which, again, is not really anyone's problem but their own. I've got friends like that and I'm sure I've been that way at times myself. Sometimes you look at your kid and think, "why aren't you talking yet" or "how come you haven't got an award from school for that?" but then you have to take a step back and realise that it's probably just you being a wee bit selfish about your child's achievements - if they are happy, doing their best and having a great time then who are you to pile on the pressure to get noticed if they don't want that? If it's because they are falling by the wayside, then sure - help them out. But don't project your insecurities.

Kids don't need to be taught how to misbehave - they can do that perfectly well on their own But as a parent your job is to train and guide your child into becoming a responsible and productive adult one day. I could wax lyrical for days on how and why kids, through virtue of a combination of nature and nurture, wind up "bad"...but all you can do is your best and accept outside help if required. Sometimes it doesn't make sense why a kid with lovely parents is such a little crap...maybe it's a discipline issue, maybe it's some weird genetic thing or maybe it's just how life goes sometimes. All you can do is your best - if you've placed your kids on the right road, at some point they have to make the choice to walk it or not - you've done all you can; at some point, it's got to be up to them.

tl;dr - I'm having pasta for dinner.

 

[Vergil'sBitch]

Talk about your laugh riots....I had a miserable 5 years of this. While it wasn't the usual brand of bullying per se, I was the subject of a lot of taunts and put-down comments by 'friends;' they used to slag me because of what my interests and hobbies were, that I liked what seemed 'childish' to them even though I was barely a teenager then and hadn't yet turned into a 'grump aul women' like the rest of them. I was in an all-girls school of a age bracket of 12-17 year olds, and suffered the raw sensation of exclusion.

Everyone had their 'cleeks,' the group of be-allers who thought they were larger than life. I never got asked to hang out with others after school, and thus had a very small pool of 'friends,' if I could even call them that. As a only child, this sensation of being excluded and 'not being wanted' while in a class year that totalled to about 50ish people did get to me on dozens of occasions. Even one of the teachers passed a comment saying I was 'into all that weird stuff,' spoken in front of my peers. Some other teachers had it in for me too, a chemistry teacher in particular that used to always make me the subject of her anger, particularly first thing on a monday morning class and leave her 4 other precious students alone. Needless to say, because of her I now detest the subject and have dropped it in favour of something else.

So what could I do but get out of that hell hole, where 1st years (12-year-olds) regularly tore in each other in the school yard with such viciousness that even the useless teachers or senior cycle students wouldn't dare intervene. I got out of that hell hole and haven't regretted a day since. Though I have been influenced by my time there. I'm very cautious about sharing what I like with new people or even speaking about myself, and I have developed a preference for enjoying my own company. I'm just so sick and tired of trying to fit in with people who I clearly have nothing in common with....

That's pretty much my experience of school too. In the end it was just easier to be by myself (no one to tell me what to do and no one to judge me. Trusting people irl is a real pain in the butt.)

Although i was tied to a signpost and they did try to set my hair on fire...

 

[Dante's Stalker]

That's pretty much my experience of school too. In the end it was just easier to be by myself (no one to tell me what to do and no one to judge me. Trusting people irl is a real pain in the butt.)

Although i was tied to a signpost and they did try to set my hair on fire...

What comes around goes around, they'll get some of their own back at some point. I'm sorry that happened to you, Veebs, that's really horrible
I was pretty much on my own for the last two years of high school, too. Then I was hanging at that group, then that one, then that one, back to that one, etc etc. I was all over the place. I didn't want to be alone but I didn't want to get emotionally attached to anyone either, so I had plenty of acquaintances I could go have lunch with. Pretty much everyone knew who I was by the time we graduated. Pity I didn't give a fart. I'm sure my dead inner socialite would have been over the moon :| I was just happy to be done with school.

 

[ROCKMAN X]

If Jessica was to be caught out bullying then two things would happen: her life, as she knows it, would be over for a while and the very first thing expected of her would be to pay a visit to the person(s) in question and their parents and apologies personally for her behavior. I would also inform her school and request that they deal with it appropriately if necessary.

Sounds so.. so... unreal :blink:

 

[Sparda's rejected son]

Are bullies even real? I was never bullied. (That may be because I was sexy nerd, and because I was pal with a "major" ganger banger in school. We sat at the same table for lunch) But seriously is bullies a real thing? Can't you say "hey dude chill" and that's it?

 

[Angel General]

Are bullies even real? I was never bullied. (That may be because I was sexy nerd, and because I was pal with a "major" ganger banger in school. We sat at the same table for lunch) But seriously is bullies a real thing? Can't you say "hey dude chill" and that's it?

Sexy nerd XD
My school is pretty good for bullying, there are just some people who seem to attract bullies, victims don't fall into a single category. There are plenty of redheads in my school for example, but only a few get picked on for being ginger. To a certain degree it's to do with the group you hang out with, and how you react. If you're a loud person who retaliates, this is hilarious to bullies. If you don't know how to react, the bullies get a kick out of whatever reaction you can muster.

 

[Sparda's rejected son]

Sexy nerd XD
My school is pretty good for bullying, there are just some people who seem to attract bullies, victims don't fall into a single category. There are plenty of redheads in my school for example, but only a few get picked on for being ginger. To a certain degree it's to do with the group you hang out with, and how you react. If you're a loud person who retaliates, this is hilarious to bullies. If you don't know how to react, the bullies get a kick out of whatever reaction you can muster.

That sounds like humans being humans to me. Its not right but its true. (I guess I never saw it as bullying) Yes, yes I am a "sexy nerd" lol. We are a rare breed.

 

[Angel General]

That sounds like humans being humans to me. Its not right but its true. (I guess I never saw it as bullying) Yes, yes I am a "sexy nerd" lol. We are a rare breed.

bahaha XD Nobody defines that term more than this guy:

:3 David Tennant ...

 

[Sparda's rejected son]

bahaha XD Nobody defines that term more than this guy:

:3 David Tennant ...

He's staring at me! *Runs away*

 

[Laurence Barnes]

humanity is an evil of it's own waging war against itself starving itself and constantly arguing because one is different from the other. robots are not like that so i am proposing a new future of robots

 

[Angel General]

He's staring at me! *Runs away*

Haha no point he can teleport >:3

Thread = derailed -.-

 

[Angel General]

humanity is an evil of it's own waging war against itself starving itself and constantly arguing because one is different from the other. robots are not like that so i am proposing a new future of robots

xD random in the bullying thread but ok, I disagree though. :3

 

[Laurence Barnes]

no i underailed it for a couple of seconds .... -_- .... everyone is bullied and bullies at least once in their life

 

[Sparda's rejected son]

Haha no point he can teleport >:3

Thread = derailed -.-

Blast!

Would saying a emo person, or jock, etc are weird be a form of bullying?