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The unofficial DmC joke thread

mrrandomlulz said:
yes but Trish was an artificial demon designed by mundus to look like a human
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Then we can discuss how other demons are made. Are they born like humans or are they artificially created as well? Are they spawned from some hellish pit or have they once been children who grows up to learn to kill humans?

But that's a discussion for another thread. :P
 
Yeah back on topic
what do you get when you combine a character with modern day culture

black hair!!
 
Why is it called a re-boot?
Because the fans gets kicked in the nuts, again and again and again!

I know, I suck at jokes. XD
 
Speaking of new dantes sword
it's ability to transform actually comes from the fact that it Is the autobot hotshot (the one from the original series bumble bee replaced in the movie)
 
Railazel said:
You already have.
1) Dante Alighieri is on a date with Bayonetta (what the hell happened to Beatrice?).
2) New Dante is actually walking into a bar with Kratos and hasn't ****ed him off yet (because the dude looks like he can **** anybody off).

Now to finish your story:

Kratos, the two Dantes, Alighieri, and Bayonetta walk into the Ultimate Hardasses Bar, where all the most badass and epic video game characters meet. All of the most famed characters are seated in a circle with a single chair in the middle. The new Dante sits in that chair.

"Alright listen, kid." The original Dante says, "You're new here, you understand? And you're already causing a fuss." All the other characters nod their head in agreement.

"So here's what's up," Bayonetta interrupts, "there's this new guy named Asura about to come into town and he's a pretty hot guy. He's a demi- god, which makes him powerful enough already, yet he's kicking the crap out of all the other gods around him. The only two God- killers here are myself and Kratos. However, you are rumored to be an up and coming God- killer yourself."

"So here's the deal," Dante speaks, "I'm a demi- demon, you're an angel/demon hybrid, which makes you a crap ton alot more powerful than me. I'm already getting my butt whooped by Kratos and Bayonetta, so I need you to step me up. You understand?"

"Yeah, I'll do it." The new Dante says nervously.

"Good, so I only have one question to ask..."

"Yeah?"

"Are you a virgin?"

"Yes..."

"Then all hope is lost...."

"I feel pity for you, Dante." Kratos pats the original Dante on his back.

"Don't rub it in, Kratos."
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bayonetta also killed god aka Jubileous, by summoning the goddess ruler of hell and punching her into the sun
 
I'm sorry, but- Angels, Demons, witch, ****ed off Spartan demi god... Give Super Mario a random star power up and he'll hand them all their asses... While high on mushrooms. Mario's so bad ass, his enemies sh!t money AFTER an ass whooping.
 
Tiran said:
I'm sorry, but- Angels, Demons, witch, ****ed off Spartan demi god... Give Super Mario a random star power up and he'll hand them all their asses... While high on mushrooms. Mario's so bad ass, his enemies sh!t money AFTER an ass whooping.
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no the toughest video game character is right here
 
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