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The Order of Sparda

Nicodemus Zamoran

The Hellslayer Knight
This is getting better and better. I liked the room. Sounds pretty cool. And this confirmed part of my suspicions on who the "other three" were. Dante and Virgil, obviously. Who the third is, I am having trouble with... but then again, Virgil may not be in it. It could be Nelo Angelo, or neither... But Dante for sure!
 

Vergil'sBitch

I am Nero's Mom & Obsessed fan girl
Premium
Ooh, freaky... and so intruiging.
Nice work.
Sorry about your other fics though.

(Sorry, I'm not very good at concrit.)
 

Dante's Stalker

"Outrun this!"
Premium
Supporter 2014
LOL that's okay, VB, I'm not expecting any concrit. Opinions and thoughts about chapters are very much welcome ^_^
 

Nicodemus Zamoran

The Hellslayer Knight
Wow. They seem very evil and arrogant, yet working for good at the same time. Must have more! And so Virgil, Nero, and Dante... But in the first, it said, one down, three to do. That makes four. Who in the world is the fourth? I must know!
 

DreadnoughtDT

God of Hyperdeath
Premium
Supporter 2014
Da-haha-amn! This just gets better and better!

Keep it going. I wanna know who the fourth member is. And it better be something good! ;)

EDIT: Oh, and I don't trust any of this order's BS. I'm with Nero and Dante on this. And I'm pretty damn sure Vergil's going to start breaking sh!t when he gets whatever it is he's waiting for.
 

Nicodemus Zamoran

The Hellslayer Knight
Awesome. You said you had more than twenty chapters earlier, so this means that this is one extremely long, yet totally incredible story. I wish I could read what happens next, now... Although, I'm in my Intro. Geography class now and I technically shouldn't be on here. :ninja: No matter! They can't stop me from reading this awesome story!!!
 

Nicodemus Zamoran

The Hellslayer Knight
Chloe_Ryder;269149 said:
"You weren't exactly a monk," Dante retorted, and aimed Coyote-A at Vergil's head. "Now that the heart-warming family reunion business is over with, get out of the way before I kill you again."

XDDD This part got me!

Also, if you're having trouble, then take your time. Didn't mean to rush you.
 

Vergil's Greed

Well-known Member
^Same here. Has to be the funniest line she's ever come up with. Or, er, Dante has ever come up with?

I don't know how long it will be before the next bunch go up, but I'll get on Adam's butt about it.
Did someone stick a note that says ALL ON BOARD on my ass? I can't keep up with all these demands from people but for you, I'll get right onto it ok? Just gimme a day or two and I'll get it all up for you.

And I didn't change the password. You must be having another one of those weeks because why the hell would I change YOUR password?
 

moseslmpg

Well-known Member
Who is Adam? Do you have a link to your FF.net page? And are you accepting story questions on this? Some of the points don't track with me exactly, maybe because there are other fics before this.

Anyway, the writing is very good. There is an animated and vital quality to it all, from the descriptions of environments to the dialogue. And the mystique is built up very well with the use of varying techniques, like the overheard dialogue which I liked. I wish Manny and I could write that well, but alas. I feel that some of the story points are a little strange, and some not fully explained, but I don't know if that is intentional or not.
 

DreadnoughtDT

God of Hyperdeath
Premium
Supporter 2014
moseslmpg;269183 said:
Who is Adam? Do you have a link to your FF.net page? And are you accepting story questions on this? Some of the points don't track with me exactly, maybe because there are other fics before this.

The guy who posted above you is Adam, actually. At least, from what I could garner.
 

moseslmpg

Well-known Member
I assumed that, but I don't know if it is for sure.

Anyway, reading the last chapter, it is kind of hard to follow with all the dialogue, and I feel personally that Dante and Nero are being dumbasses. It is good to see Vergil back in some kind of form though.

Edit: BTW, what is Nero's relation to Vergil in your fics? And what exactly happened to Vergil?

Edit Edit: I meant to say the capticity aspect of it reminded me of Juliet and Jack in Lost.
 

Dante's Stalker

"Outrun this!"
Premium
Supporter 2014
@Adam: THANK YOUS MY FRIEND!!! :D
And I got in. Which turns out makes no difference because YOU have all my bloody work.

@Moses: Yeah, if you got any questions please fire away. I have a pretty bad memory and yeah, I actually do forget what occurs in my own fics, especially the ones I write as fast as I did this one, so I might not have all the answers right away.

There are two other fics that are in a similar setting as this one. I don't know if I've said this before but this fic is a spin off of sorts from my Ragnarok fic, which is basically about D-day in the DMC universe.So... yeah, in the Ragnarok fic, Mundus basically takes over the human realm and gets his way, and for a long time there's hardship for mankind and the Sparda boys are nowhere to be found. They only pitch up near the end of the fic to steal the show. The Order of Sparda is basically a little side story about WHERE exactly Nero and the lot of them were the whole time chaos was raining down on earth.

And the other fic, Shadow of a Demon, takes place long before this fic in the time when Sparda was residing in Fortuna as the feudal lord. I know in the game they say it was just a legend, but I've been doing some research about feudal lords and wanted to do a story about it. So, I don't know if mentioning any of this might help clear up any confusion, but once I can get my hands on those other fics and post them up, a lot of things that seemed to be left hanging or that seems to be shrouded in mystery in this fic, will be a lot more understandable and clear.

And in this fic in particular I'm going with the idea that Nero is Vergil's son. Mind you, it's the first fic and possibly the one fic in which I will support the idea. It just kinda...fit with the scene.

Erm...as for what happened to Vergil - well, in my mind, this new Order tracked down the remains of his soul and had a ...necromancer, I think? And some serious magic mojo that helped to recreate Vergil's body - which wouldn't have been hard to do since they only needed to make a copy of Dante. They did something similar with Sparda - kind of like they were creating clones of Vergil and Sparda, you could say. With the good intentions, of course.

And yeah...it's a first draft and I think I went through stages where I wasn't that focused on the descriptive part but just wanted to dot down the idea of what goes down? I still need to revise the fic and will be fixing that last chapter up when I get around to it. And...I blame Nero for making the scene dumbassy :p No, seriously, I'll go work on that at some point too. It's the first time I wrote the two of them interacting. Well, this was my first time actually properly writing Nero, and I can see where I bashed him BADLY, and I'm not proud of it or happy about it.

Here's the link to the story on my FFN : http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6254851/1/

But like I said, I copy and paste it from there so when a new chapter goes up, I come post it here as soon as I get it.

I wish Manny and I could write that well, but alas.
*is floored* That IS the biggest compliment I have EVER received. Really, you and Manny are BRILLIANT so that is very, very flattering of you! :D :D :D
*blushes to death* x_x
 

Nicodemus Zamoran

The Hellslayer Knight
Holy ****.... We're about to meet the fourth person, right? Finally! And what seems to have been evil has only been the attempt to vanquish evil and prevent many deaths! Wow. Can't wait for the next part.

EDIT: If chapter 7 of more than 20 is near the climax, then there may be more climaxes in the story.
 
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