Xeroxis
Space Detective
I finally completed DMC2, (which I had put off for a year), and knowing the nefarious side of me, I felt I had to say something about it. Naturally this place is my choice, though most of you will criticize me and condescend my work like everyone else on every forum ever. The purpose here is to entertain and give my opinion, Since I am the abused jester in a court of kings who love hot pokers and dungeons as much as the next king.
Enjoy.
Coming home from Gamestop with my newly purchased DMC HD collection, I trudged my way through the knee-high piles of discarded red bull cans and the lady-neighbors stolen laundry. I plopped down on my plywood and sheet metal bed covered generously with bubble wrap and popped the game into my Xbox, convienently held together with electrical tape and rubber bands. As cruel as fate is, my choice landed on DMC2.
Story: Unemployed and bored as hell Dante, tired of city regulators bitching about the number of dangerous sh*t he stores in his living room, Makes his way to Dumary Island for some good o'l R&R. He meets a strange and heavily accented women with a knife fetish, and an old woman who must have wandered out off the shire from cannon-balling into the senile pool. Having jack-sh*t marked down on his monthly calender, he accepts the job with a coin flip, because Dante is a douche. He learns an evil corporation run by a rejected James Bond Villian is terrorizing the city with animals stolen from the zoo spiced with something demony.
Dante wanders around the island killing and breaking everything, and eventually kills the Human Torch while in hell. Guessing hell had better housing income, Dante rides away on his moterbike, which he totally did not steal from someones garage.
Can you guess how I feel about the story? I felt the whole damn thing was ab-libbed and really had no connecting theme with the first game. Bosses were bland and hard to remember, and the connecting story with Lucia felt like filler. I wasn't very impressed overall.
Combat: I can't complain about combat, because it actually flowed quite ok-ish with the flips and wall running. Guns finally did some damage, but the weapons weren't very creative, plus DT was just too overpowered. It kind takes it away when you become god for 10 seconds and utterly wipe the floor with whatever your fighting. I also found it difficult to keep a combo going. The only way I found was to use aerial maneuvers and flips to stall the combo bar, making Dante look like a retarded circus chimp still back-flipping for animal crackers long after the Ringmaster was mauled to death by the sexually deprived tiger.
Environment: The city landscape is actually quite expansive compared to the tight corridors in DMC1, and It felt kinda cool being able to deviate from the path to break the television antennas for orbs, cutting off some old man from his soap opera Saturday alone time. However, combat would eventually force me to the ground again, and I would continue my cracker-begging once again.
I could probably keep going, But no doubt the local posse is crowded around my house as we speak. Now that the jester is done flailing his dangley parts around at the princes wedding, I shall recede back into the wine cellar and feed on the plague rats for my nutrition
I hope this entertained you enough.
Enjoy.
Coming home from Gamestop with my newly purchased DMC HD collection, I trudged my way through the knee-high piles of discarded red bull cans and the lady-neighbors stolen laundry. I plopped down on my plywood and sheet metal bed covered generously with bubble wrap and popped the game into my Xbox, convienently held together with electrical tape and rubber bands. As cruel as fate is, my choice landed on DMC2.
Story: Unemployed and bored as hell Dante, tired of city regulators bitching about the number of dangerous sh*t he stores in his living room, Makes his way to Dumary Island for some good o'l R&R. He meets a strange and heavily accented women with a knife fetish, and an old woman who must have wandered out off the shire from cannon-balling into the senile pool. Having jack-sh*t marked down on his monthly calender, he accepts the job with a coin flip, because Dante is a douche. He learns an evil corporation run by a rejected James Bond Villian is terrorizing the city with animals stolen from the zoo spiced with something demony.
Dante wanders around the island killing and breaking everything, and eventually kills the Human Torch while in hell. Guessing hell had better housing income, Dante rides away on his moterbike, which he totally did not steal from someones garage.
Can you guess how I feel about the story? I felt the whole damn thing was ab-libbed and really had no connecting theme with the first game. Bosses were bland and hard to remember, and the connecting story with Lucia felt like filler. I wasn't very impressed overall.
Combat: I can't complain about combat, because it actually flowed quite ok-ish with the flips and wall running. Guns finally did some damage, but the weapons weren't very creative, plus DT was just too overpowered. It kind takes it away when you become god for 10 seconds and utterly wipe the floor with whatever your fighting. I also found it difficult to keep a combo going. The only way I found was to use aerial maneuvers and flips to stall the combo bar, making Dante look like a retarded circus chimp still back-flipping for animal crackers long after the Ringmaster was mauled to death by the sexually deprived tiger.
Environment: The city landscape is actually quite expansive compared to the tight corridors in DMC1, and It felt kinda cool being able to deviate from the path to break the television antennas for orbs, cutting off some old man from his soap opera Saturday alone time. However, combat would eventually force me to the ground again, and I would continue my cracker-begging once again.
I could probably keep going, But no doubt the local posse is crowded around my house as we speak. Now that the jester is done flailing his dangley parts around at the princes wedding, I shall recede back into the wine cellar and feed on the plague rats for my nutrition
I hope this entertained you enough.
but im sure ill somewhat enjoy 2 if nothing else then for the new experience
