R.I.P. Chester Bennington

[Rebel Dynasty]

For those who haven't heard the news yet: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/chester-bennington-dead-dies_us_5970f163e4b062ea5f9097f8

So...I don't usually do these kinds of things. Though there have been some celeb deaths that have caught me off guard and made me feel a bit sad, very few have ever inspired tears. Chester Bennington is one of those few.

I know how this probably seems to a lot of people who weren't into the band, or grew out of them early on. But for the sake of background, let me explain something: this isn't about it being a "celebrity death". This isn't about "jumping on the bandwagon". For me, this is personal--for though I didn't know Chester personally, Linkin Park's music served as a gateway for me, bringing me out of the world of pop singers, and into the world of rock. Since the band's first studio album; since I saw the videos for "One Step Closer" and "Crawling" back-to-back on TV.

While I have outgrown "Crawling" and "One Step Closer", as I am no longer an angsty 13-year-old, these songs still hold meaning for me--as does the Hybrid Theory album as a whole. And let's be frank here; sure, there are a lot of teens who whine about the most insipid things. Teens that think they have it rough because mommy and daddy didn't get them the Doc Marten's they wanted. But I want to make something clear: Not all teens going through angst are entitled little twats. Sometimes, that angst is well justified--and while I would never claim to have had the worst life, I'm going to be upfront: growing up was **** for me.

Absolute. Effing. ****. At home, at school--there was no safe haven for me. And when Linkin Park came out--during one of the worst years I'd experienced growing up--I was at an all-time psychological low. Yeah, I cringe when I listen to "Crawling" now, but when I was 13? That song was an absolute balm for me.

Though some of their most recent albums haven't hooked me like their earlier ones did, Linkin Park has been a big part of my life for these past 17 years--and Chester's vocals are a huge part of that. To have him take his life--to have that voice ripped away, never to sing again--came as a huge shock yesterday. It's like losing a big part of my youth, an entire chunk of my personal growth.

And in all honesty? I was ashamed yesterday; ashamed that I let a celeb death impact me this hard. But you know what? I'm not, anymore--because I'm not alone. Because I'm not the only one who was impacted by Linkin Park and Chester Bennington's vocals in particular at a time when things seemed bleak and uncertain. I'm not the only one able to reminisce about the first time they heard the band, how old they were, what song it was, etc. An entire generation can do that--and so can many who were born after.

So here's to you, Chester Bennington: may you find peace in the afterlife.

 

[Dark Drakan]

Linkin Park were a huge part of my life too and the lyrics that he penned from his own darkness helped me through my own at different parts of my life. I remember Steve and I listening to Hybrid Theory on repeat for a VERY long time & to this day it was one of my favourite albums of all time (been on in my car again recently). I owned most of their albums and although I preferred their old style (Hybrid Theory & Meteora) over new direction I respected their musical diversity & still enjoyed their music.

One of the most underrated tracks on Hybrid Theory and one of my favourites will always be A Place for my head.

I had seen Linkin Park & Dead by Sunrise live and his vocals & energy were stunning and you could tell he loved what he did. His death came as a shock but also affected me far more than I ever expected a 'celebrity' death as you put it, to. Ive been listening to songs by Linkin Park and others written by him all day on the radio and crazy how many emotions he could stir up with his lyrics. He was an inspiration to many other bands and inspired a generation as well as being a light in the dark for countless people with his words over the years, such a shame that he was consumed by it himself.

Condolences to his family and friends in this truly awful tragedy. RIP Chester and thanks for the memories, you will be missed.​

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest​

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

@Dark Drakan Well said,, Drakan; I couldn't have done better. A Place for My Head was one of my favourites from the album, too. That, Papercut, Points of Authority, and Forgotten.

It's funny, isn't it? Not in the humorous sense, but in that way that, when you look at things in hindsight, it seems so obvious; like it was always coming to this. Maybe I always thought that in writing their music--Chester writing most of the lyrics himself--he was giving himself the same therapy he gave so many fans. If we're this choked up, I can't even imagine what this is doing to his family and friends, to his band mates.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

When they announced this on our local rock station I had to actually pull the car over because I just couldn't process it. Wait - Chester? Whoa, hang on now, are they talking about The Chester?....well, f me, there's no other Chester in the rock/alternative rock genre is there. OMG. No. WHAT? Chester is gone? Maybe it's a mistake....
And then they talked about Mike tweeting about it and I thought okay, not a mistake then.
And then they started talking about how his music had been a big part of their life and if anyone else is in the same boat, and if anyone feels suicidal to call in....
And I honestly didn't connect the dots until I got home later and I realised what had happened.

I've been a major fan of LP since I was a kid. I've got all their albums, it's their songs that I turn up to 20 in the car when it plays. I mean I'm by no means exaggerating my devotion to this band. On my wedding day I walked down the aisle on one of their songs. As our wedding present/memento we got their latest album.

I love love love LP's music because as I grew up, their music grew with me, always changing and maturing with time, the lyrics always deep and meaningful and befitting with the stages of life I found myself in, always the same vocals. Their music was a living beast of its own. And now it's gone, forever. There won't be another album, another show, they'll never come to my country for a concert, and I'll forever be stuck within this time, in the lyrics of their last album, always reminded that this was where it came to an end.

And what hits me harder than the fact that LP is no more, is that he did it.
He gave up. He caved in. He stopped fighting. He was in a dark, lonely place. He had to have been in so much distress. Either a numb trance, in which he couldn't see beyond the next hour, couldn't see any way out, just locked in this state of non-existence with no thought other than how to escape. Or he would have had to be in so much pain, maybe believing that nobody would miss him, that the world would be better off without him, that he couldn't tread through the pain or supress the memories anymore, that he wasn't strong enough to carry on hiding his struggle anymore and that he was becoming a burden on those he loved. Or he would have had to have been beyond angry, maybe something triggered it, maybe it was just that one look, that one word, that one thought that pushed him to breaking point and made him lose his ****, and he took it out on himself, how could he love what he does when it evokes so much pain and anger, how could he live with himself when maybe there is nothing wrong with him and his lyrics are all fake and he's just BSing people out there.

Or he would have been thinking about doing it for a while now. Maybe just not sure how or when would be a good time. Maybe he had a bunch of drugs on-hand and made the split decision to OD. Maybe he had a weapon and without much thought pulled the trigger. Maybe he tied a noose and decided he'd done enough, he'd had enough, and let go.

I don't know. I can only speculate. I don't think I want to know so I've been refraining from news channels and reading anything related to him on the internet. I can imagine what he must have been feeling or thinking, because I can relate, too well. I don't need to know the details of the how or why.

I do know that the people who were meant to support him and love him were nowhere around when he needed them most. People are like that. They let you down without realising it. And then they turn around and put the blame on you because they faltered; they didn't know he was in such a dark place, they didn't know he would actually go through with it because look at all of us that he left behind. It's his fault for not speaking up. It's his fault for not reaching out. He did it, it's him to blame.
But that's the thing. When you look back on that person's life. At what they said and did, or more importantly at what they didn't say or didn't do. The signs are all there. You just need to know to look for them. You need to care enough to see it coming, and be strong enough to stop it happening. You have to be there to pull them back when they're about to jump. There is no excuse. Oh, you went for a five minute toilet break, they were fine when you left the room, but you know they're one second away from falling and you just hope and trust that they would give you a minute to yourself to go do what you need to do so really nobody could have predicted they would end it while you're in the other room but you know the only reason they haven't ended it up to that point was because you were there.

A lot of people are quick to point the finger and judge when somebody commits suicide. They're selfish. They're stupid. They've taken attention seeking one step too far. People are especially hard on the people who are getting the help they need, or who have been made aware that they have a problem and need to get help, when they give up the fight. They had so much to live for, they had so much help in place already, they were on the right track, why would they jump ship? And they won't understand. They won't get it. Only the people who have been there, who have been haunted by it, who have been eating, breathing, sleeping and wearing it every day, will understand why.

It's tragic that Chester had to be one of those that slipped through the cracks.

 

[DragonMaster2010]

Linkin Park didn't necessarily help me through dark times but it helped me branch out my music taste from just rap and enjoy other varieties. Their music inspired my love for AMVs and have helped me beat plenty of bosses in video games. "Nobodys listening" and "breaking the habit " being some. Linkin Park helped me to be open to different types of music and has even sparked inspiration for my own works.

Rest in peace, Chester Bennington. And who knows; maybe one day we'll all hear your beautiful voice in the next life.

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

So...I just saw this, and I'm really not sure what to make of it: whether it can be taken as legit, or whether they're just grasping as a means to spread further discord or as a coping mechanism for grief. Thoughts?

http://yournewswire.com/chester-bennington-murdered/

 

[Angel]

Linkin Park's Meteora album was huge for me and I love it. OK, so recently the band have kind of sucked for me but going back to the earlier stuff is always fun for me.

Was quite surprised to hear Chester had died. RIP man.

 

[V]

I wasn't much into LP but I appreciate a lot of people are of the next generation up from mine. I'm a fan of Chris Cornell who recently took his own life as well. There have been rumors Cornell's death was perhaps a result of family troubles and pressure, but who really knows. What seems obvious from his music over the years though was that he was no stranger to despair/depression.

With Chester I have no idea as I only casually listened to LP from time to time. But what strikes me about certain artists like him and Cornell is that it's partly negative emotions that inspired them to music in the first place, or was the means of coping. Sad and ironic I guess that some things people might never be able to escape from, even if they achieve fame and appreciation.

RIP

 

[ef9dante_oSsshea]

Wow another iconic guy gone , my heart goes out to his kids and family

Such a talented guy , loved there music and his voice

R.I.P Chester , you are immortalised in your fans hearts and are a legend

 

[Dante's Stalker]

In dedication and memoriam of Chester Bennington.