Parenting is challenging but it is rewarding and your friends who a going through such tough times need to know that and be supported by others to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It isn't all sunshine and lollipops all the time; indeed, it is hard and expensive and draining and exhausting.and yes, it can cause marriages to break down and relationships to become strained, there is no denying that. But it isn't the punishment in life some people think it is and there is great joy to be had.
I'll just need to keep being there for my friends and do what I can for them while they are going through these tough times. And, when they do tell me how bad being a parent is, I'll tell them that it will get better, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.
I did once tell one of my friends to talk to other mothers because they would have a better understanding and be able to reassure my friend that being a mother wasn't always going to be so tiring and stressful, but she told me that they would call her a bad mother if she told them what she told me:blink: Is that sort of thing common? It comes to something when mothers can't talk to other mothers for fear of being judged.
Yeah, It's probably the reason why your friends were overwhelmed with such responsibilities
The story which I told you bout my cousin, the fact that they are happily with their daughter, is due to the fact that they didn't rush through, they took their time,thinking wisely, and when's the right time
****, Loopy, Am I sounding weird for a 17 year old ?
Not at all weird. It's good to hear some happy stories about people with children. I'll pass this along and see if it helps any of my friends.
Seems like if one of my friends has a baby, then suddenly others do too. I think they rush into it with their husbands and then wonder what has happened when they have a baby who cries all night from colic. Maybe they went into parenting with this idealised image...I don't know, but I'm going to be there for them and help out in any way. I wouldn't mind doing baby sitting if it got them out of the house.^_^
Parenthood isn't that terrible.
My mother told me it was very difficult for her to take care of me and also the family. But she also told me she was very happy she had me and that I grew up as a child she's proud of. I think these minor sacrifices parents do for their children while they're little is because they're their children,because they love them,because they were the same as them.
I asked my mum the same thing because as a teenager, I was a little ****. So I asked her was it worth it putting up with me as a teenager, and she said yes because now I'm an adult, we really get along.
I also hate when they only see the bright part of it because it's not only happiness and good times,but there are also bad parts like no sleeping at all,taking care,feeding etc. but as I said this is only temporary and it's after all something that has been done through time.
Exactly. I think it's dishonest to say that every aspect of child rearing is wonderful. It gives parents to be the wrong image, and sets them up for high standards that they will not be able to live up to. This in turn creates feelings of upset and failure.
I wish people would give a more balanced image of beong a parent.
I also think it would have helped some of my friends if they had really talked honestly to people who were already parents.
From what you said I can deduce that they either didn't think well before doing it,or either they can't be responsible or hard-working and take reality seriously.
I mean,why haven't they think better about the consequences and possible negative experiences? Now they regret? This event in life isn't something to take it as an easy task,it's hard,and it requires maturity and responsibility. Even if they regret,learn how to take it forward and live with it. Their actions had their consequences,and they should be well aware of that.
And also, it's no good to marry early and also have a child so soon,because there's a big chance of regretting or even divorce.
Think well,share opinions and ask others who know what it truly means,like their parents or someone else who has experience.
Again,each person takes this event in a different ay.There are either optimist persons or pessimist ones,but it's good to be optimist in my opinion,rather than pessimist.
My friends are hard working. I think that's part of the problem. They have jobs which are demanding, and sadly they thought a child could just fit right in. They were just so hooked on the happy baby image, and the ideal parenting experience, that they did not give much thought to the less ideal things. Then again, if everyone thought of all the things that could go wrong when having a child, I don't think many people would have them.
At the time, they did think they were mature to have a baby. I don't think anyone is 100% ready anyway, and nothing can prepare for being a parent until you are one. It's not like my friends had accidental pregnancies. These were very wanted babies, planned with their husbands. I don't think they would ever leave their children (well, exept the one I mentioned). They love their children, but I think they need to smetimes let off steam with me and talk to me about the negative parenting experiences because they'd go mad otherwise. It's no good for them or the children to have such negative feelings inside .I don't think my friend would tell their child that they were regretted. I hope she was just venting her frustration last week. Baby had been up for a few nights crying all the time. I think that would drive anyone to say some things that they don't really mean...well, I hope she didn't mean it.
As for marriage. These friends are in their late 20, early 30s, so they're not too young for marriage and children. But I think regardless of the age, being a parent is something that can't be prepared for 100% until becoming one. But maybe they should have talked to older parents first indstead of fixating on the perfect baby image.
Wow. People here are talking about pregnancy and post-natal plight, and I don't even have a girlfriend. :|
Forever Alone = Me.
Anyway, in my country, video games/comics are considered to be for children and those socially awkward male teens. Finding a gamer girl is rarest of the rare cases. If I speak for myself, whenever I come across a girl with these common "pre-pubescent" likings for a game/comic, I tend to get delighted. It's like seeing an extinct species. Of course, I don't go on belittling her for being a girl and liking games/comics, but it's simply fascinating to find one in real life.
We have this one stop shop (supermarket, if you will) for games and comics which is always filled with MALES. You'd hardly, hardly in the most extreme manner, see a girl browsing through the shelves.
It's not about stereotypical view of a girl, but about about finding someone in a real life that sometimes leads to this "sexist behavioural attack", in my opinion.
It's a shame that comic and game fans have the image of being for teenagers or children. Where I live, there are equally male and female fans from all different ages, but there is still the image of only creepy men like comics. It's a shame.
And in the comic shops I go to there are mothers with their teenage daughters. Last week, I heard one teenager trying to explain what Aventure Time was to her mum and saying how it was popular with people of all ages. Mum just looked like her daughter was crazy, but then started syaing how cute Princess Bubblegum looked. :lol:
So, I think that slowly comics are being more accepted by people of all ages and genders.
