Stylish Nero
We Dem Boys!!
That's a tough one considering we haven't got her on here too, and this info is filtered through your perception of her actions.
Maybe she does like you but isn't sure about it, hence the sarcasm and jokes.
Or maybe she's not looking to date anyone right now.
Maybe she thinks you're just being friendly and doesn't realise you like her a lot.
It's a tough line to walk for a guy when it comes to this kind of thing. You're not mind readers any more than women are and sometimes signals get read incorrectly as signs of romantic interest, and signs of romantic interest are misunderstood as signs of friendship.
Maybe she just sees you as a friend if she's making jokes and goofing around. So no amount of hanging around with her is going to change that if she only sees you as a friend. Either that or her sarcasm and jokes are her way of rebuffing you...who knows.
I also wouldn't advise telling her that you see her as a tough nut to crack. Persisting won't always change a woman's mind, no matter how much you want to be more than friends.
That kind of persistence can be off-putting and can cost friendships depending on how the man or woman reacts to that kind of thing.
It can seem like one is pursuing the person just for the sake of it, for the sake of winning them like a prize and nothing more.
I've had it happen myself with guys. I had no idea they liked me as more than a friend, and hanging around with me in the hope that I would suddenly change my mind just didn't work.
Then they confessed their feelings, and they tried to blame me for rejecting them because, apparently, being friendly, engaging them in conversation, wearing makeup, and sharing the same interests was 'leading them on'. :facepalm: That was just plain creepy.
So now I make it a rule to tell a guy straight away that I see them as a friend only because I've had bad experiences with them being terrible at taking friendliness and common courtesy as signs of romantic interest and then trying to blame me.
Sometimes, I could tell if a guy liked me, and I wasn't sure how to rebuff them in a way that wouldn't hurt them, considering how some guys have reacted to rejection, I have been wary of even doing it at times. So, I resorted to being distant, sarcastic or disinterested in the hope that they would just give up and want to be just friends. But, it makes some guys just try even harder for the sake of dating me, and that is a whole new kind of off-putting.
These days, it's a lot easier to stop guys flirting with me, because I tell them the truth: I'm happily with someone.:happy:
Having said that, there are times where I'm not too good at reading signals either, considering I thought those guys only wanted to be friends:tongue:
According to those guys, hugging is one of those romantic signs. But I'm so used to hugging my girl friends that I just see hugging as a friendly thing whether it is from a guy or woman. However, that was no excuse for the guys to be so... I think what really got to me in those situations was how angry the guys became and how quickly they changed their personalities and tried to blame me as soon as I said I only wanted to be friends. Needless to say, I didn't see them again. That kind of reaction to rejection was like a huge red warning flag to me.
I know this is in the past for you, but for anyone else in a similar situation:
It's okay that you're not instantly confident. That sort of thing comes with time and experience. No one should expect to be super confident straight away. It is scary approaching someone you like, especially if you don't interact much with them on a daily basis.
Maybe practicing at home what you will say to this girl could help to build your confidence. Or maybe join a club she is in if she is in a club. That's a good way to make initial contact and build a friendship based on shared interests.
Maybe even just walk past her and show her a friendly smile could be the start of talking more to her.
I can handle rejection like a pro.
Well when I say "flirting" its not really flirting, its just me wanting to get to know her better. I don't see her often and when I do its either alone on the streets, bus, etc or with this other girl (I know) doing homework. Outside that and one conversation on the phone which was entirely in Chinese so I couldn't make it out outside a couple words (I'm learning Chinese by the way).
Plus when I first met her she was like that with the sarcasm and jokes but they seems to get more frequent and more sarcastic after I told her she was/is pretty (kind of wished I didn't do that).
But you're right I'm not a mind reader so I can't tell if she likes me or not or why the sarcasm/jokes. However, I noticed when its just me and her (although it was only by one brief conversation on the streets) she isn't as sarcastic.
Plus during our first encounter I guess I was badgering her with questions I guess that was why she became sarcastic....although she was sarcastic from the start and she isn't as sarcastic or sarcastic with the other girl.
I'm not sure if the girl knows but I told her friend (since I know her as well) that I like her....not sure if her friend told her that and she was willing to help me.
The only thing I see we have shared interests in is French. She wants to learn it and I know quite a lot of French.
