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Ending The Rivalry

LordOfDarkness

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Chapter One: Just Last Night

Vergil woke up; his head was still throbbing from last night. He made his way slowly into the kitchen, and did the same thing in the mirror that he did every day. A girl woke up too, and crawled out of bed. The lady didn’t seem too well, or perhaps that was just because of last night.

Vergil made himself a coffee, and re-entered the living room. Although, he placed the coffee on the bedside table, and the girl picked it up and sipped it. The twenty something man kissed the woman on her forehead, and then whispered into her ear, “I love you honey”.

The woman didn’t seem too pleased and replied, “Vergil, why do you have to go now?” Vergil sighed and kissed her, this time on the lips.

“Sweetie, me and my brother need to talk” Vergil replied, and he caressed the woman’s face. As his hands moved lovingly over her, she pushed him away.

Grabbing her coat, she walked right up to the front door, and left… Slamming it behind her.

Vergil got up, and made the bed. He remained silent throughout this, until the phone rang. Vergil reached out, and picked up the phone…

“Hey bro… It’s me. What time does your flight get here?” Dante asked.

“About 5 something man… Look, I’m not in the mood to talk right now, can I call you back later?” Vergil replied, stuffing things into his suitcase as he spoke.

“Uh, yeah sure thing bro. I’ll catch you later” Dante replied.

Trish came over to Dante, who looked slightly confused.

“Well… Is he still okay?” Trish asked.

“Yeah… He just… He just seems mad about something,” Dante said… Trish stepped back, “I hope he isn’t planning to cancel our meeting,” she said.

“No, I don’t think he will. He knows I mean business… And you know, he’s my brother” Dante said.

Trish looked shocked at this…. “You hardly show him that you care” she replied.

“Half the time I don’t get the chance… But that’s not the point. I want to end this sibling rivalry, and get down to business,” Dante said, making that clear.
 

LordOfDarkness

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THE NIGHT BEFORE: PART 1

The midnight breeze shot past Vergil's hair, and blew it upwards. Vergil grabbed for a comb, and soon flattened it again...

He moved towards his destination, and heard a lady crying in the distance. As he jolted towards her, he heard screams... Cries of pain, and fear.

Vergil swiftly brushed past all of the people, and came to the woman's aid... That was when he saw that the woman's leg had been severely slashed...

An ambulance siren blazed, and Vergil stepped aside... He moved backwards towards a wall, and watched the terror around him... "So defenseless... These people need somebody like me..." he said to himself.

He looked up into the sky, and saw movement on the rooftops... He knew all along, as soon as he had heard that scream... As soon as that air had hit his face, and had carried the stench towards him...

He unsheathed Yamato, and stepped out into the middle of the road... People were still running away, as their screams soon became distant to Vergil... The area was quiet, as only silence met Vergil's ears.
 

LordOfDarkness

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This is my most recent fanfic... So I wouldn't mind a little feedback, before I continue with it... Because if it's crap, then I don't want to carry on with it...
 

Tawsie

Give Me More...
Yeah, as I said through the PM, I like the take. It is more relaxed and normal. With Vergil waking up from a night out on the town with his GF or saving his GF, doing the normal thing of getting a coffee to become more awake. Showing more human emotions by kissing his GF as good morning and then caressing her as re-assurance. The laid back discussion between Vergil and Dante is refreshing. Over all its good, continue if you like how you feel with it, I'll read more chapters if they are to come.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Thanks for the feedback Tawsie, I really appreciate it...

I wanted to make the characters laid back more... More human emotions from them... Because after all, they are half human.
 

Tawsie

Give Me More...
The more human they are, the easier it is for the readers to relate to. Not every story can be about witty one liners and action all the time. Some stories need emotion.
 

LordOfDarkness

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^ Yes, you are correct... Read this new part... Please.

THE NIGHT BEFORE: PART 2

A crash came from inside a nearby restaurant, which Vergil soon turned his attention to. He stopped watching the skies, and moved towards where the sound was coming from... People started to burst out of the restaurant... All rushing away from the place...

"Just get the kid, and get in the car... NOW SARAH" came a cry from a man... The man noticed Vergil staring at him in a confused manner... The man continued to get his family to safety, but Vergil continued to move towards the restaurant.

People ran by him, each one had a different look of fear, shock and confusion. Vergil ran inside, and smashed through broken bits of wood, that had previously been tables and chairs... A large pillar broke off, but Vergil just pushed it away from him.

"PENNY!!! PENNY, WHERE ARE YOU?" Vergil shouted, at the top of his voice.

There was no answer, but another scream... Or perhaps the scream was coming from Penny...

Vergil rushed around the place, and burst into the kitchen. Dead chefs were lying on the floor, and Penny was slumped against one of the cupboards, crying her eyes out.

Toni was smashing a group of demons to pieces, and Vergil gave him a hand.

After it was all over, the two went back to Vergil's, and ended up drinking way into the morning...

Toni joined them during the evening, but soon left the couple alone...
 

LordOfDarkness

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Chapter 2: Leaving Town

There was a knock at Vergil's door, which was answered almost right away. Expecting to see Penny's face, Vergil smiled and was about to have something witty to say... But his face soon lost that smile, when he realised it was only Toni.

"Hey Toni... How are you?" Vergil asked politely... Trying to hide his true emotions.

"I'm fine thanks... How are things with you and Pen..." Toni replied... But he started to stop what he was saying, because he knew something was wrong.

"Me and Penny... Well, we're going through some stuff at the moment... But eh, do you want a drink?" Vergil said...

"Anything but alcohol... My head's still buzzing from last night..." Toni replied... And Vergil smiled back at him...

"You're definitely not a lightweight... But you can't handle alcohol better than me" Vergil said, boasting.

Toni tried not to smile too much... As in a way, he thought that would be rude, considering that Vergil didn't look in the smiling mood.

"Hey... I'm going to see my brother today, so it's not all that bad" Vergil said.

"Yeah... You'll be fine Verg..." Toni said, reassuringly.
 

Tawsie

Give Me More...
An introduction to a new, or familiar, character and an explanation of what happened the night before. Quite good.
 

LordOfDarkness

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^ Thank you... This Chapter will lead up to Vergil and Dante's meeting :)

+rep up for your feedback :cool:
 

Haven

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I like it :), what I really like is the more human kind of thing (i've only read 2 parts for chapter 1), you never really see them act normal :unsure:. This is kind of what they probebly do when they're not fighting :lol:.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Thank you :)

What I want to show is that human side of them... A more subtle approach to the characters... Of course, they will still have bosses in this, but it'll be different...
 

Angel

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Ease up on the commas ;) otherwise keep going with what you have...an interesting angle, to show a more emotional side, I must say

:D
 

LordOfDarkness

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^ Thanks... That's exactly what I was hoping for... And I think I've pulled the emotional side off really well with Dante and Vergil so far :)
 

LordOfDarkness

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I'm really stumped for ideas... If anyone would like to offer any.
 
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