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DMC5 vs Game Journalists BINGO

xMobilemux

xMobilemux

I'll just get right to the ass kicking.
Supporter 2014
Saw this on Reddit and thought it was funny.
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Wanna play?
 
Oh man, some of these predictions are gold. I legitimately rolled my eyes when I read some of them because I could see them actually coming out of a reviewer's mouth.
 
We had one guy early on who couldn’t tell Dante and Nero apart. I don’t blame him but for the mistake of a preview but if someone makes it after playing the game, that’s less tolerable.
 
IGN's review is out and crazy enough it averts almost all of these. He's a longtime fan, loves the characters, is planning on going back to higher difficulties, says the microtransactions are unnecessary to get through the game, and finally gives it a 9.5. I'm pleasantly surprised.
 
DreadnoughtDT said:
It means you win. Because they've been successfully discredited by their own hand. Hell, read the comments. No one agrees with them.
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I'll read it in a few. I'll go get breakfast and read it then.

Edit:
I've been reading that review and beneath a set of cliche hot topic buzz words there is an actual review with real points and thoughts. Too bad these few checklist of modern self righteous sentences show that the writer has a certain mentality right off the start and it makes any legitimate point questionable right off the bat.
 
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berto said:
I'll read it in a few. I'll go get breakfast and read it then.

Edit:
I've been reading that review and beneath a set of cliche hot topic buzz words there is an actual review with real points and thoughts. Too bad these few checklist of modern self righteous sentences show that the writer has a certain mentality right off the start and it makes any legitimate point questionable right off the bat.
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Yeah, trying to push a narrative often throws your other points into question and delegitimizes your entire review.
 
I've read the whole thing and I have to admit, I find it rather fascinating.

It starts out by saying DMC5 is behind the times. Ok. I haven't played the game so when he says things like this I have to take them at their word. This is a legitimate criticism and while other reviews have stated the opposite I have disagreed with them more than once so I move on.

This is one of the most interesting sentences in the whole review to me: "In a post Bayonetta world... " In a post Bayonetta world. Well, that's cool. That's something I can understand and use as a reference point since it's what I'm going to be judging the game against myself, anyway. Then they complain about how they refuse to use Dante for most of the game and, worse, to refuse to use the Dante from DmC... we're starting to punch holes in that bingo card. Fine, whatever, to each their own.

Here's where things get really interesting. The guy gets to the women and suddenly there is these expressions that I've read and heard so many times before.
Damsels in distress.
Agency.
Sexualizes.
Consensually problematic (what the hell does this even mean? Sounds like an oxymoron).
Objectification.
Toxic masculinity.

... In a post Bayonetta world.

All we're missing is sexist and racist and we'll have the whole set.

I mean, you start your review with a solid enough statement but follow it up with a bunch of inflammatory buzzwords and your review becomes a mix message. Not sure if it means anything but the guy's name is Kenny... and he uses the most obvious of phrases right out of a dictionary for progressive writing. Kenny...

In a post Bayonetta world... Do you know what one of the most defining characteristic to a Bayonetta game is? Then he goes on about the game is this whole mess of story and the characters are this and that and there are games that the pinnacle of action titles and DMC5 is behind the times to games like GoW, Bayonetta and NieR:A... I haven't played GoW but do you know what Bayonetta and NieR are famous for? 2B's has an actual song. A SONG (Don't click on that unless you're alone and with headphones. People have too much time in their hands). I am baffled by this review.

It is like complaining that your action movie is bad by the standards of a post The Raid era and then nagging that it's too violent... Have you seen The Raid!? The Raid is Brutal (in bold, underlined and italicised) and in the same way The Raid is brutal Bayonetta is sexual. She wears her vegina on her sleeve (which should make her a feminist icon but now's not the time) and to use it as the pinnacle example of action, of which I agree, only to nag about another trait that defines them both is... paradoxical. The irony of it all makes this whole thing so fascinating.
 
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The fourth box in the first row is what triggers me the most in action game reviews. Some of these reviewers (and actually, some players themselves) just don't give a **** about analyzing the advanced mechanics, because in their mind, advanced combat equates to anything even slightly above the level of mashing the attack button or performing the basic moves, so it automatically doesn't matter.

IN AN ACTION GAME.
 
Z218 said:
I read it and i don't think its that bad. I think the mid part about female characters is its weakest because it's too vague/buzzwordy.
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You think this was bad:
Well, it's not that bad, it just starts out disapprovingly, I'm guessing as click bait.
 
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