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Dmc: Catacombs Of Hell

LordOfDarkness

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.lol. after all this time I choose to edit now .lol. this was my first fic I posted up, and admittedly it is a simple written one too .lol. :) so soz that I started it wrong.
 

King Avallach

Deity of the Old World
Re: dmc:sons of sparda

Could you introduce us to Toni? We need to know just a little bit about them if we don't know them already.
 

neochaos

Red Gunslinger
Re: dmc:sons of sparda

Ryaniel2;58369 said:
" I have a quicker way of dealing with this" said Toni, at which point he was in knight trigger mode, making his armour practically inpenetrable to most weapons. In knight trigger Toni was faster and stronger, his sword grew longer and was heavier, and he ran past all the enemies through the doorway, knocking them back as if they were nothing.

What other thing Toni can do ?
Sorry,your story sucks.:dry:
''Knight trigger'' what the hell is this. :\
Not everyone can use triger mode.
As far as we know only Dante and Vergil can use this mode.
I hope I didn't disapoint you.;) But that's my opinion.;)
 

King Avallach

Deity of the Old World
Re: dmc:sons of sparda

neochaos;58477 said:
What other thing Toni can do ?
Sorry,your story sucks.:dry:
''Knight trigger'' what the hell is this. :\
Not everyone can use triger mode.
As far as we know only Dante and Vergil can use this mode.
I hope I didn't disapoint you.;) But that's my opinion.;)

A little harsh, particularly from someone who can't spell 'disappoint'.

However I think a lot of creative criticism is needed. Introduce us to the non-canon characters as I've already mentioned. Also I agree with Neochaos that not all characters can use the 'trigger' modes. Another thing would be that you aren't supposed to jump right into the action. A little background info is necessary about where the protagonists are and what they're doing or it won't be accessible. Keep that in mind, okay?;)
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: dmc:sons of sparda

Hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Perhaps if I explain more, you will change your mind.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: dmc:sons of sparda

To give a taste of the action.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: dmc:sons of sparda

Yeah, that sounds pretty weird.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: dmc:sons of sparda

Anyway... Toni only goes into Knight trigger, if he has the Templar sword with him. He is 5'6, and his main weapons are the Holy Driver Revolver and the Templar Sword. He is the last son of the Templars, as his father was killed. He is 24 years old, and is an only child -or so he thinks-
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: dmc:sons of sparda

The Templar were a group of humans that helped Sparda.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: dmc:sons of sparda

devilmaycry-2-1.jpg




Chapter 1, pg 1: Dante's beginning


Dante slouched back on his work chair, he never really was one for manners, but beings as he had no customers or company he didn't mind. The old antique clock struck eight, " I'm done" said Dante as he jumped up and grabbed for his coat, he started to look for his mints in the pockets. He found them and went outside as he popped one in his mouth. He was going back to his flat about three streets away from his shop.

Meanwhile:

"Michael, can I go now?, I'm so eager to meet him" said Toni.

"Sure, what about calling him first, let him know your coming" said Michael.

"Sure thing boss" said Toni.

"Hey, me and you are pals, I'm not your boss".

"Yeah, but you pay me though" Toni replied.

"Only since my accident Toni, now you better get going" Michael said, and he turned in his wheelchair and faced away from Toni. Toni was about to leave when he remembered something, he turned back to Michael.

"Hey Mike, what about those guns" Toni asked.

"Oh yeah, I put them in your garage" said Mike.

"Home, I call that place home" Toni said, in a matter of fact tone of voice.

"Okay, then I put them in your house. I rested them on your bedside table" he replied. Toni nodded and went down some stairs, when he opened the door to go outside he pulled out his phone and a piece of scruffy white paper.

Dante's shop number was on it and Toni looked down at it on the page with admiration, he rang the number with great anticipation.

Dante was still outside eating when the work phone rang, Dante ran back inside and answered it, " Hello" he said, as he put the phone to the side of his face. A voice replied back at him, the voice was very deep and serious, the man seemed to want something.

"Hello, whom am I speaking to?" Toni asked.

"My name's Dante, how may I help you" Dante said, in his working type voice.

"Good, listen. I have something I need you to do, meet me outside your shop in ten minutes" replied Toni.

"Okay, but this better pay" said Dante, and he put away his phone.

"Finally, some work" he said to himself, and he went back outside to lock up shop, taking a small gold key from his trouser pocket he twisted it in the door. All Dante did then was wait to meet this mysterious stranger, for he wanted some work to do for he was bored.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: devil may cry: sons of sparda

Dante heard something approaching from the end of the street, he watched as a man appeared into the light of his shop.

"Dante?" said the man.

"Yeah that's me" Said Dante.

"You look younger than I thought you would" The man said.

"So?" Dante replied, in an absolutely not bothered tone.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: devil may cry: sons of sparda

Toni smiled, "Can I talk to you?" he said.

"Of course. You were the one who called me aren't you?" said Dante.

"Yeah, but there Is something that I want to tell you" Toni said.

"Step Inside" said Dante, showing Toni the door with his hand.

Toni stepped Inside the shop, he looked around, the place felt very homely like, and Dante pulled back his chair and sat down.

"Take a seat" he said, and he reached out his left arm and pushed the back of a chair towards Toni, who wiped the pizza crumbs off of it and sat.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: devil may cry: sons of sparda

^ He sure does.
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: devil may cry: sons of sparda

Now to continue what I started. * The story that Is *

Somewhere in darkness, lying on a small mountain top was a wooden cabin. A rather rough looking man was asleep inside, his dream was this.

He was watching a child running through a small town, he was urged to follow, he ran but the small boy had fallen into a crowd and could not be found. He pushed through the people and then he saw a throne, a top of it the boy was seated being served bread and wine. Wait, not wine, blood. The small boy stood up and everyone watched him, all eyes fixed to him as if he were the only thing that existed. The boy stared at the crowd and picked out a man, the man was killed and placed upon the throne, a voice rang out screaming his name, his name.

Keno woke, in a sweat, was that a dream he thought to himself. It had been ages since he had been bothered by haunting dreams, but this very night felt different. He stared at himself in the mirror, he felt his face and questioned who he was. A snarling growl was heard from outside.

"Quiet Beast" he said, that was the name of his wolf.

A small squeal of pain was heard and he looked out the cabin window. Beast was nowhere to be seen, he reached for the cabin door and opened it slightly, he saw what it was...
 

LordOfDarkness

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Re: devil may cry: sons of sparda

He could make out a dark figure, it was holding something over it's shoulder.

"Beast" said Keno, and he stretched out his left hand trying to reach for his shotgun on a shelf. When his fingers met the gun it knocked over a small ornament which hit the cabin floor and smashed.

When Keno looked out of the door the figure had gone. But he was happy to see that his pet had been okay, Beast limped over to Keno, he had something stuck in his leg.

"Poor thing" said Keno, pulling it out. It was a splinter of wood with a tiny bit of paper on it.

Keno put the paper to the light. On it was the word decide.

"Not this" he said to himself.
"I THOUGHT THIS WAS OVER" he bellowed out, Beast looked scared and ran inside, Keno still angry followed.

"Beast off" he said, as Beast had jumped on the bed, he jumped off and looked at his master. Beast headed for the door but Keno called him back.

"Here boy" he said, sat patting his lap, Beast ran and leapt on top of him panting.

"God knows what I'm gonna do" Keno said, sighing.
 
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