Best trait in a person?

[Demi-fiend]

Um... I honestly don't mind either way. It's not like I want to be friends with anyone or anything (I really don't, I enjoy my solitude).

I was just saying that I agree with Meg's opinion the most.

 

[Meg]

Well, this is about your personal, subjective views, not objective: your views on what traits are the most important for people to have, regardless of what those people are already like. We're imagining blank slates of people here, and saying what traits are the most important for us to get along with them and vice versa.

So I see your point, but what I'm saying is not the same as saying ''Mary's best trait is her funniness'', because that's choosing the best trait out of all the traits a person already has. She might not even be that funny, but it might be her best trait nonetheless. It's a qualification, while my views are not qualifications. For me, humor is the least important aspect of a person, while a sense of morality, and intelligence, are important. It's not about how 'good' a person's trait is or which is their best one, it's about which traits we find the most important for people to have.

Damn, this is hard to explain. :tongue:

That doesn't change my opinion. Assuming everyone is a blank slate or not, I'd rather not define what a universal "best" trait for people have is. Not everyone is going to have the same traits, or to the same degree. And saying everyone should have morality isn't helpful. A lot of evil people consider themselves to be in the right. And I shudder at the thought of everyone being united by one code of morality. And intelligence is a very broad word. The same person could be a genius in one area and an idiot in others.

Variety is the spice of life and all that. :wink:

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

That doesn't change my opinion. Assuming everyone is a blank slate or not, I'd rather not define what a universal "best" trait for people have is. Not everyone is going to have the same traits, or to the same degree. And saying everyone should have morality isn't helpful. A lot of evil people consider themselves to be in the right. And I shudder at the thought of everyone being united by one code of morality. And intelligence is a very broad word. The same person could be a genius in one area and an idiot in others.

Variety is the spice of life and all that. :wink:

I definitely agree with you, there; everyone has to decide for themselves which qualities they look for in other people-not just in partners, but in friends, as well. I think that's why a good, broad sense of humour is one of the traits I like best-I already have a partner, so in terms of friendship, it's good to be able to laugh with people. Of course, that isn't the only trait I search for-I like the people in my life to have depth, not be cardboard cut-outs. ^_^

I also like what you said about intelligence; it reminded me of this popular quote, in fact:

http://frankjkenny.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Einstein.jpg

 

[kl4060]

I just think people who value being positive are just awesome human beings, I have also changed myself a lot due to someone called day9 or Sean Plott.Everyone has bad days and are effected similarly by emotions, however people try not to portray their negative emotions, if we did then the world would be full of depression everywhere as depression can spread between people to people. Even so, the emotions leak out from time to time and I don't blame, its completely natural. Some amazing people can control their emotional leaks and only portray their positive aspects, cheering up everyone around them. I truly respect these people.These following videos inspired me greatly and believe everyone should try this just for a week or so, if you are having troubles with friendship, socialising or just interacting with others in general due to others treating you like dirt, try changing yourself to be more cheerful and not provide un-needed-negitive-influences. This has helped me in life greatly and I believe it had the greatest impact on who I am and how I got friends.I would recommend everyone to watch these when they have time. (22
ocelote: Controlling the Beast
Day[9]'s Musings - Being Relentlessly Positive

 

[seraphmaycry]

I just think people who value being positive are just awesome human beings, I have also changed myself a lot due to someone called day9 or Sean Plott.Everyone has bad days and are effected similarly by emotions, however people try not to portray their negative emotions, if we did then the world would be full of depression everywhere as depression can spread between people to people. Even so, the emotions leak out from time to time and I don't blame, its completely natural. Some amazing people can control their emotional leaks and only portray their positive aspects, cheering up everyone around them. I truly respect these people.These following videos inspired me greatly and believe everyone should try this just for a week or so, if you are having troubles with friendship, socialising or just interacting with others in general due to others treating you like dirt, try changing yourself to be more cheerful and not provide un-needed-negitive-influences. This has helped me in life greatly and I believe it had the greatest impact on who I am and how I got friends.I would recommend everyone to watch these when they have time. (22
ocelote: Controlling the Beast
Day[9]'s Musings - Being Relentlessly Positive

my stance is supportive of cynicism and realism to spread awareness of serious issues within the world so they can be changed for the better.

 

[Enigma]

That doesn't change my opinion. Assuming everyone is a blank slate or not, I'd rather not define what a universal "best" trait for people have is. Not everyone is going to have the same traits, or to the same degree. And saying everyone should have morality isn't helpful. A lot of evil people consider themselves to be in the right. And I shudder at the thought of everyone being united by one code of morality. And intelligence is a very broad word. The same person could be a genius in one area and an idiot in others.

Variety is the spice of life and all that. :wink:

I already explained my definition of intelligence - I'm guessing you didn't read that, then.

And really? You're telling me you don't have any standards for people to fit? They don't have to be nice, they might as well be murderers, they could beat you, they could lie all day and you wouldn't care? Is there really not one positive trait you'd want to see in a person? Because this is kind of creeping me out.

I just think people who value being positive are just awesome human beings, I have also changed myself a lot due to someone called day9 or Sean Plott.Everyone has bad days and are effected similarly by emotions, however people try not to portray their negative emotions, if we did then the world would be full of depression everywhere as depression can spread between people to people. Even so, the emotions leak out from time to time and I don't blame, its completely natural. Some amazing people can control their emotional leaks and only portray their positive aspects, cheering up everyone around them. I truly respect these people.These following videos inspired me greatly and believe everyone should try this just for a week or so, if you are having troubles with friendship, socialising or just interacting with others in general due to others treating you like dirt, try changing yourself to be more cheerful and not provide un-needed-negitive-influences. This has helped me in life greatly and I believe it had the greatest impact on who I am and how I got friends.I would recommend everyone to watch these when they have time. (22
ocelote: Controlling the Beast
Day[9]'s Musings - Being Relentlessly Positive

I don't know, that sounds like a deleterious stance to take. Feelings shouldn't be suppressed, not even to try to be positive. If you've got pent up rage or whatever, or you really don't agree with what somebody said, or they really hurt you, then you have to do something about it. Otherwise, the few times you do let out your emotions, they could turn destructive.

 

[Meg]

I already explained my definition of intelligence - I'm guessing you didn't read that, then.

And really? You're telling me you don't have any standards for people to fit? They don't have to be nice, they might as well be murderers, they could beat you, they could lie all day and you wouldn't care? Is there really not one positive trait you'd want to see in a person? Because this is kind of creeping me out.

I'm talking about the denotation of intelligence- there are nine types.

"Standards" and "traits" are two different things. And just because someone isn't nice doesn't mean they are murderers or compulsive liars. People aren't black and white. Betty Friedan was well known to be a bitch, but she also launched the second wave of American feminism, co-founded the National Organization for Women (NOW), and brought hope to millions.

 

[Enigma]

I'm talking about the denotation of intelligence- there are nine types.

"Standards" and "traits" are two different things. And just because someone isn't nice doesn't mean they are murderers or compulsive liars. People aren't black and white. Betty Friedan was well known to be a bitch, but she also launched the second wave of American feminism, co-founded the National Organization for Women (NOW), and brought hope to millions.

I wasn't implying standards and traits are the same thing. Maybe you should read more carefully. What I mean is, we all have criteria for what people should be like ideally. We fall in love for certain reasons. Some people want their partner to be very intelligent, some don't. Some want them to be funny, others don't really care. It is not about what traits are the most important for anyone to have objectively, it's about what traits you want to see most in people. That is, which ones are the most important to *you*. For me, it's important for people to have intelligence. What kind that is, I already explained. They also have to be trustworthy, etc etc. Humor is fairly unimportant. So I get what you're saying, but what you're saying is a different topic altogether. Of course there isn't one ultimate trait people should have; this is simply about our *preferences*. I also didn't imply not being nice equates to being a murderer, I was just summing stuff up.

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

Uh...can't we all just agree that we're entitled to our own standards? :/

 

[V]

"not a nitpicker" =q

 

[Angel]

Forget traits - a pulse is a good place to start for me.

 

[Meg]

I wasn't implying standards and traits are the same thing. Maybe you should read more carefully. What I mean is, we all have criteria for what people should be like ideally. We fall in love for certain reasons. Some people want their partner to be very intelligent, some don't. Some want them to be funny, others don't really care. It is not about what traits are the most important for anyone to have objectively, it's about what traits you want to see most in people. That is, which ones are the most important to *you*. For me, it's important for people to have intelligence. What kind that is, I already explained. They also have to be trustworthy, etc etc. Humor is fairly unimportant. So I get what you're saying, but what you're saying is a different topic altogether. Of course there isn't one ultimate trait people should have; this is simply about our *preferences*. I also didn't imply not being nice equates to being a murderer, I was just summing stuff up.

You know, I really hate it when people say the reason I misinterpreted what they meant was because I didn't "read carefully." The way you worded your post made it look like you were interchanging the words "standards" and "traits." Also, the OP didn't state that they were looking for what we find most attractive or whatever. The original post was a very broad statement and I replied with what I thought.

And again, the way you worded your statement implied not being nice = murderer. I understand now that's not what you meant. So that's cool.

Although, I have to go with what Ms. Angel said. Having a pulse is pretty important to me. Not a fan of zombies.

 

[kl4060]

Feelings shouldn't be suppressed, not even to try to be positive. If you've got pent up rage or whatever, or you really don't agree with what somebody said, or they really hurt you, then you have to do something about it. Otherwise, the few times you do let out your emotions, they could turn destructive.

I totally agree with you, I'm for not being able to explain properly on my first post but what I meant is framing things positively, instead of saying "sorry for hanging up so suddenly" why not say "thank you for understanding"? It makes it more positive and from that day whenever you hang up the other person they will feel good for you hanging up on them, further explained with detail on day9's video on being restlessly positive, this is such a nice trait for a person to have in my opinion, I feel so much more happy and cheerful around people like this rather then negative people. Saying negative things is fine, its encouraged, however framing things positively is a great skill to have.

 

[Enigma]

You know, I really hate it when people say the reason I misinterpreted what they meant was because I didn't "read carefully." The way you worded your post made it look like you were interchanging the words "standards" and "traits." Also, the OP didn't state that they were looking for what we find most attractive or whatever. The original post was a very broad statement and I replied with what I thought.

And again, the way you worded your statement implied not being nice = murderer. I understand now that's not what you meant. So that's cool.

Although, I have to go with what Ms. Angel said. Having a pulse is pretty important to me. Not a fan of zombies.

I don't see how you could confuse the word 'standards' with 'personality traits', but if I was not clear enough, I'm sorry. I simply asked if you had any standards for people to fit if you wanted to have an excellent relationship with them. As in: what traits would they ideally have? Don't tell me you don't have any standards... I'm sure you were drawn to certain people for certain reasons. You made friends with certain people because they had appealing character traits. You (possibly) fell in love with someone due to their character traits. Which ones?

I didn't mean that not being nice equates to being a murderer, because that would be an idiotic thing to say.

The TS did not mean ''what are the best traits of a person in general''. Because obviously there are none! Everyone will agree with you that one trait is not (objectively speaking) more important than the other. The TS himself even said: ''for me it's the motivation to fight''. The 'for me' part indicates subjectivity. The only quality that might objectively be the most important is a sense of morality - as in, not to kill people, maim them or anything like that. Because killing/wounding causes emotional pain, you cut a life short, and you have no right to. The TS meant: ''to you personally (subjectively), what are the best traits for somebody to have?'' If you wanted to marry somebody, you'd have certain standards. That's a fact. The same goes for when you choose your friends: they have certain qualities you value above other qualities. Some people fall in love with people more easily because they are funny. Others because they are intelligent. And some people feel that they themselves should have certain traits, like generosity. This thread is about our preferences, not about 'what traits in general are the most important ones'. There is no 'ranking' of traits, except for the one in our minds. And that subjective ranking is what we are sharing in this thread.

 

[Meg]

snip for space

Okay.

The TS asked us what we thought the best traits a person should have are. All I have been saying is whole time is that I would rather not make a list of ideal traits. I don't want to paint a picture of what an ideal person for me, or anyone, is because the ideal will never exist. I'm friends will a wide range of people who all have wildly different personalities. So I can't really say what over-arching trait is best to me.

That's why I said that, for me, a person's best trait depends on each individual person. The thing I like most about one of my friends is her sense of humor, another it's how peaceful they are, a third its their weirdness. And for my closet friend.............I actually have no idea.

But none of that means I prefer people who are weird or peaceful or funny over people who aren't.

Which is why I stand by my belief that I cannot make a list of "best traits." A person's best trait depends on who they are.

I'm not really interested in continuing this discussion, so please understand that I'd rather we just agreed to disagree from here on out.

 

[Shadow]

So...while we can't agree on some traits, can we all agree a good trait for people to have is not being a serial killer?

Cuz I think I should have mentioned in my first post here that that's one kind of intelligent soul I can do without.... >_>

 

[Enigma]

Okay.

The TS asked us what we thought the best traits a person should have are. All I have been saying is whole time is that I would rather not make a list of ideal traits. I don't want to paint a picture of what an ideal person for me, or anyone, is because the ideal will never exist. I'm friends will a wide range of people who all have wildly different personalities. So I can't really say what over-arching trait is best to me.

That's why I said that, for me, a person's best trait depends on each individual person. The thing I like most about one of my friends is her sense of humor, another it's how peaceful they are, a third its their weirdness. And for my closet friend.............I actually have no idea.

But none of that means I prefer people who are weird or peaceful or funny over people who aren't.

Which is why I stand by my belief that I cannot make a list of "best traits." A person's best trait depends on who they are.

I'm not really interested in continuing this discussion, so please understand that I'd rather we just agreed to disagree from here on out.

Nobody's saying there is such a thing as an ideal. But considering how everybody has different personalities and different wants, I do think there's an ideal person for everyone. A subjective ideal, that is, not objective.

Soooo... that makes you the odd one out, I guess :tongue: Not many people can be friends with various people for various personality traits. Not many people feel indifferent about personality traits. You can notice this from how everyone here has different answers to the TS's question. So... I guess you're pretty unique, I think. Also because you didn't really answer the TS's question. I could never be best friends with somebody who has a great sense of humor but is pretty much stupid (stupid according to my definition of stupidity, that is). Nor with somebody who's extremely quiet. It's just something that's been embedded into my mind since I was born - most people have that. Of course, nurture also comes into play. There's certain things your mind is attracted to, and other things that your mind is repelled by. To say that you don't have that is amazing.

I just don't want this thread to turn into some politically correct abomination XD. The TS asked a question, so we answer if we want to.
And there's no need to agree to disagree... I mean, you answered the question, which ends the conversation :tongue: No hard feelings.

 

[Demi-fiend]

Uh...can't we all just agree that we're entitled to our own standards? :/

No.

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

No.

Lol, you've summed this thread up quite well.