Well I voted Bazooka but only because I'm such a poor aim, it's the only thing short of a nuke that would give me the slightest chance of hitting something somewhere.
Although if I could pick anything, it'd be the guitar in L4D2...something that literally bangs out a tune.
I choose this guy: Johnson from Shadows of the damned. He can turn into a revolver, a shotgun and machine gun. He can also become a motorcycle and...he talks
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I just added thatYou left out all the d!ck and fellatio jokes.