OverProtective Parents?

[Anthony]

I have slightly overprotective parents.. Like sometimes my dad won't let me go anywhere because he worries I might get hurt.. I am a buff kind of person who works out every day and he worries I might get jumped because I got in a fight in February (I won) but idk BUT THE MAIN ISSUE IS: he always asks who my friends are and why he hasn't heard of them before it is just really because I don't talk about my friends around my dad and I do hang with a good crowd.. He never trusts me when I say I never talk about my friends and he never takes me anywhere and makes me housebound just like my stepbro.. My dad is the lazy kind of person who always says in a minute but usually never does it.. And when we argue he always throws the I am an adult card at me and which I understand he is an adult but sometimes I would he would let up.. I dont really care if he says something like hi to my friends but he just is overprotective sometimes any advice to make him let up?

 

[V's patron]

maybe showing him that they are a good crowd might help?

 

[LordOfDarkness]

maybe showing him that they are a good crowd might help?

Yeah that and try to explain to him that you need to be allowed your own freedom and you do respect him and his choices but some of his decisions are upsetting you and you'd appreciate it if he let you do your own thing for once and you'll show him you're just fine.

 

[ef9dante_oSsshea]

I kinda had that problem but my mother is the opposite , because of my height and size she wanted me to avoid trouble in case I got in trouble with the law for hurting people

but since I moved out years ago and bought my house and garage etc she calmed down and is laid back now

 

[Director Bison]

id say see if you can invite a friend or two over to your house
and if they behave and don't cause trouble your parents will see there no harm to you
and maybe trust you more

 

[Angel]

Communication works wonders.

Some parents struggle to let go, some let go too early and some don't care either way. Then there are those who, like your dad, want to know who you're hanging out with. Its not unreasonable and it makes sense.

So introduce some of your friends to him. My teen has only a handful of rules to follow in our house and one of them is that I know who she's with and where she's going to be. She keeps me up to date and keeps her phone on when she's out. She lies or gets into trouble with the law? She wishes she had never been born. Simple, really.

Over protectiveness is a good thing in the sense that it shows he gives a crap. So fling him some respect, introduce friends and show him you are trustworthy, responsible and safe. Might take a while, but it'll be worth it.

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

You mentioned a fight in February that he can't let go.

Does he have you pegged as a young, dumb loose cannon?

I mean, I don't know the circumstances of course but... based off knowing nothing, there's a 50% chance you threw the first punch. Provoked or not, fights are always a bad scene. They just always wind up being more trouble than they're worth.

Like, consider with adults. Two guys fight, one wins the other loses. The winner swung first though and is open to assault and battery charges. The court probably orders him to pay the hospital bill for loser and an additional sum for the time the guy wasn't able to work due to his injuries.
Who's the real winner in that?
The guy with self control. That's who.

 

[Anthony]

You mentioned a fight in February that he can't let go.

Does he have you pegged as a young, dumb loose cannon?

I mean, I don't know the circumstances of course but... based off knowing nothing, there's a 50% chance you threw the first punch. Provoked or not, fights are always a bad scene. They just always wind up being more trouble than they're worth.

Like, consider with adults. Two guys fight, one wins the other loses. The winner swung first though and is open to assault and battery charges. The court probably orders him to pay the hospital bill for loser and an additional sum for the time the guy wasn't able to work due to his injuries.
Who's the real winner in that?
The guy with self control. That's who.

No I did not throw the first punch the kid got all in my face and pushed me which does count as assault then he punched me so I whooped him.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

There's a difference between being protective and being overprotective. Asking who you're hanging out with and where you're going and what you're doing is showing interest and that info is needed in order for your dad to make a judgement call on whether you're at risk of getting in trouble/hurt or not, ie. indirectly protecting you.
Overprotective is when you're never allowed out of the house without a parent escorting you for the duration of your outing, when they're afraid there's a risk to your safety without legitimate reason.

Overprotective parents can't be reasoned with because they're irrational, therefore will not change their view.
Protective parents can be reasoned with, with logical solutions as those mentioned above.

I hope you're just exaggerating with the 'over'protective part.

 

[Anthony]

There's a difference between being protective and being overprotective. Asking who you're hanging out with and where you're going and what you're doing is showing interest and that info is needed in order for your dad to make a judgement call on whether you're at risk of getting in trouble/hurt or not, ie. indirectly protecting you.
Overprotective is when you're never allowed out of the house without a parent escorting you for the duration of your outing, when they're afraid there's a risk to your safety without legitimate reason.

Overprotective parents can't be reasoned with because they're irrational, therefore will not change their view.
Protective parents can be reasoned with, with logical solutions as those mentioned above.

I hope you're just exaggerating with the 'over'protective part.

Now that I read your response I feel like I was over exaggerating lol thank you

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

I prefer to call them differently rational.

 

[Jak]

sorry pal, but in my experience, there isn't much you can do about it. best you can do is just wait it out until you're either of age, or emancipate yourself. my parents were VERY overprotective. hell they still are. i got back from college for summer a couple of weeks back and one day i got home around 12:00 and my mum grilled me on the "dangers of the streets and how she thinks i could be out doing drugs". keep in mind i'm an adult who pays taxes...yet she still views me as a child. so if your parent is overprotective, they're just going to be like that forever. and it sucks, but there isn't much you can do to change that