Dedicated to Jess. <3
It was a very normal day in Museverse. Dani had her head in Jess' lap, Jess was combing through the younger girl's hair with her fingers; Julie was sitting on Lady's lap, leaning her head against the bi-color eyed woman's shoulder; Roza stared enviously from Glass to Dante; Nathan and Sophie were currently arguing over who would be the one to try and open the portal to the demon world, but would fail thanks to the other twin, like their father; Glass just sat there, looking bored; Krystal looked as though she were in her own little world; and Dante and Vergil just glared at each other, like they did everyday, because if they decided to fight, it would destroy all of Museverse.
Julie sighed, getting off of Lady's lap, and began pacing. “I'm so bored!” she groaned, her eyebrows furrowing. “There's nothing to do! We're such a boring lot, and we never do anything!”
Dani walked over to her self-insert, however, Dani didn't even know if Julie could be called that anymore, placed a hand on her shoulder, and said, “Quit with your ****ing bitching! Look for something to entertain yourself with.” She motioned towards Lady.
“But I dun wanna!” Julie stamped her foot and wailed like a baby. Everyone looked up.
“Julianna,” Vergil said forcefully, pushing Dante out of his way. “If you don't shut the bloody hell up, I'll have your head on Yamato.”
Dante snorted. “Someone's in 'the mood', aren't they?” He snickered. It seemed as though Vergil still hadn't figured out the double meaning of Yamato and katana.
Vergil pulled Yamato from her scabbard, placed the tip at Dante's throat, and growled. “Do not even go there, brother.”
Dante pushed the sword away and stuck out his lower lip. “I'm sowwy. Did I hwut my pwecious big bwother's fweewings?”
“**** you, Dante,” Vergil said, forgetting about Julie.
“Nah...” Dante went over to a desk and propped his feet up. He waved his hand. “Maybe later. I'm not in the mood right now.”
“That's not what I meant, you perverted little-” Vergil was cut off.
“Muse orgy?” Julie offered. Glass looked up, Roza and Krystal blushed, Vergil narrowed his eyes, Lady frowned, and Dante waved his hand again.
“Yes!” Glass said eagerly.
“Why...?” Lady and Vergil said in unison.
“No. Like I said, I''m not in the mood right now. Maybe later,” Dante repeated, still smirking.
Dani and Jess both shook their heads.
~*~
“No!” Sophie shouted. “You're the one who would snap if Mother was killed and Father left us, Nathaniel!”
“No way, sis!” Nathan shouted back. “I take more after Uncle Dante! It'd be you who snapped like Dad did. I'm too awesome and badass to snap.” He smirked.
“I am pretty badassed.” Dante smiled and looked at himself in the mirror. “Y'know, bro, you'd look good if you kept your hair down all the time.”
“Hmph,” was Vergil's only reply.
“And besides, Sophie, you're the older twin...” Nathan turned away from his sister and trotted off, obviously happy with himself for winning their debate.
~*~
Ten minutes or so later, Dante felt he was in a bit of an asshole mood.
Dante moved over to Vergil and straddled his twin, hands moving up and down his abdomen. He leaned in close to Vergil's ear and whispered something neither Dani nor Julie could hear. - he smiled, but it quickly disappeared. So, in turn they both leaned forward in their chairs. The rest of the residents of Museverse were smirking at the two woman.
Vergil whispered something back, but abruptly broke off and shouted, “Sophia! You and your brother out of the room! Now!”
“But Father!”
“But Dad!”
He turned to face them. “Why do you two always seem to be in the room when your Uncle and I do this?” A small smirk crawled onto his lips. “Unless...”
“Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!” the two yelled in unison, and ran out of the room.
“Now, where were we... Oh, right...” Vergil and Dante's lips barely touched, and Julie and Dani leaned even more in their seats. This time, however, they both hit the floor with a loud SMACK.
Everyone in the room, excluding the two woman on the floor, were laughing.
“You guys're asses,” crawled from the ground.
“That.” This time, Julie's voice.
Jess helped Dani up and Lady Julie. “Thanks,” the keeper and self-insert said in unison.
“No problem.”
Vergil pulled his face away from Dante's and placed his arms on the chair they were sitting on. “Get the hell off of me.”
“Oh...right...” Dante began to move. “Wait... Why they **** are you hard!?” A look of disgust crossed Dante's face.
“I'm not hard, you **** wit! It's a cup!” Vergil pushed his brother off of him. “Why were you hard?”
“It was a cup!”
~*~
After placing ice on her head, Lady and Julie sneaked upstairs. Dante was insistent on following, but Vergil took hold of the back of his coat.
“But they've watched us before!” he whined, and Vergil scowled.
“Uncle Dante...” Sophie had walked into the room. “Can we play in the dojo?”
Dante's eyes went wide at the smile that formed on Vergil's lips. “No way in hell, you little-”
“Use vulgar language in front of my daughter, you will not be able to walk for a week. Do you understand?” Vergil's eyes narrowed threateningly.
Dante gulped. “Yes, sir.”
Vergil let go of his brother and turned to his yellow eyed daughter. “You two have fun now.”
Sophie took hold of her Uncle's arm and pulled him into the dojo out back. Vergil leaned back on the couch and smiled at the satisfying sound of wood against head and Dante's pained yelps.
~*~
“Ow!” Dante yelped, as the wooden sword (Vergil still haven't given Sophie and Nathan actual weapons, yet) hit him again on the head.
“And this,” Sophie hit him again, “is for topping my Father!”
“But he offered! Ow!”
“And this is for kissing my Mother!”
“But she kissed me first!” The wooden sword hit him again.
“And this is for saying I'd resurrect Temen-ni-gru! And this is for loving Nathan more than me! And this is for acting like I'm a Daddy's girl! And this is for saying Mother would sacrifice me for Nathan! I hate you, Uncle Dante!”
Over and over again, the wooden sword hit the demon's head, and with each hit he yelped “Ow!”
~*~
“Looks like they're at it again,” Glass said to Vergil, frowning.
“That's my daughter,” he said, pecking his wife on the cheek.
![Brunette Keeper [Jess]](/data/avatars/m/15/15155.jpg?1299760374){kind=avatar}
