Manberg and Moses present, Hollow Worlds: Son of the Dark Knight

[moseslmpg]

EDIT: I have removed this fic due to recent events coming to my attention. As I don't mean to punish the good users of this forum, note that it can be found at FF.net and Devil's-Lair henceforth. In case anyone cares, the fic may return following the censure of certain member(s), but I'm not holding my breath and neither should you.

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Hello all, I'm here to present a special treat. A fic written by Manberg, in collaboration with myself, of course. Now, I know some of you may be expecting the sequel to the Sparda epic, but that will take some time, and we felt it best to exercise our creative muscle with a side venture.

What follows is madness wrought from the depths of the subconscious, tales from the twilight between woe and wonder, stories which have escaped the outer limits of sanity, and I think you'll agree, a jolly good time. (It isn't really that crazy, just very awesome).

Unlike our other fic, this once focuses on a character not seen in the main series for a while, perhaps never as he truly is as a character. It is not precisely canonical, but it isn't exactly non-canonical either. But I do not want to ruin the mystery. We hope that you enjoy...

(I'll be posting this by chapter, since we only have 7 chapters right now, and so I don't intimidate readers like I did with the other fic, which everyone should read.)

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[post=267534]Prologue[/post]
[post=267534]Chapter 1: Lazy Sundae[/post]
[post=267534]Chapter 2: It Begins[/post]
[post=267534]Chapter 3: A Miss Fortune[/post]
[post=267534]Chapter 4: For Whom the Bell Tolls...[/post]
[post=267534]Chapter Huh?: What ManDreams May Come[/post] [post=267534](Part 2)[/post]
[post=267534]Chapter 5: A Storm is Approaching[/post]
[post=267534]Chapter 6: Through a Glass Darkly[/post] {Img1}
[post=267534]Chapter 7: Etched in Flame[/post]

 

[moseslmpg]

One post up ^

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Question: What is Poimandres? I could google it and look it up myself but writers have different takes on subjects, so I thought I'd ask you instead.

It seems most Vergil-centric fics are written from first person POV - I wonder why that is. Maybe Dante's mind is too perverted for people to really get into? LOL, just kidding (sorta).

Anyway, I'm presuming you guys will still be doing the revision and editing for this fic as it's a first draft, so I'm not going to point out the errors I've seen. I do LOVE the intro, although the first few paragraphs had me a tad bit confused. I'm all for descriptive writing, but I'd suggest that

The shadowy figure whirled its boney fingers around a dark mist that formed a portal of sorts through which one can see into other worlds.

change to "that formed a portal of sorts through which I could see into other worlds".

The reason why I suggest that is because I got utterly lost and confused reading that paragraph. I forgot who was at word - the author or the character? So...yeah. You understand where I'm coming from, right? If you take a look at it from the reader's perspective?

Anyway. I've been dying for this fic and YAY it's finally going up! I'm working on a Vergil-centric collaboration with my good friend as well, and he's the one who coincidentally referred me to your Sparda fic in the first place about a year ago. So, I'm very curious to see where you go with this fic. Maybe it'll help inspire my worn out mind to create some real good madness for Vergil

 

[moseslmpg]

Question: What is Poimandres? I could google it and look it up myself but writers have different takes on subjects, so I thought I'd ask you instead.

Poimandres is the Shepherd of Men. Most of the reference included are meant to be easily found on Wikipedia or some fairly well known source. For more obscure references, I'll include URLs. We want to engage the reader a bit more with this fic, especially in later chapters.

It seems most Vergil-centric fics are written from first person POV - I wonder why that is. Maybe Dante's mind is too perverted for people to really get into? LOL, just kidding (sorta).

I think it is because people just want to know what is going on in Vergil's head. We could have gone third person, but I feel like third person is the default, and it never takes into account who is telling the story. In this case, it is clear that it is Vergil remembering things that happened to him.

Anyway, I'm presuming you guys will still be doing the revision and editing for this fic as it's a first draft, so I'm not going to point out the errors I've seen. I do LOVE the intro, although the first few paragraphs had me a tad bit confused. I'm all for descriptive writing, but I'd suggest that change to "that formed a portal of sorts through which I could see into other worlds".

Well, TBH, this first chapter was just spontaneously generated, without any idea of a story or anything. It was a one shot deal that Manny came up with after months of not writing. So it does have some awkward aspects, but we've chosen to keep it roughly as it is for posterity. Later chapters are more structured, or whatever. But please do point out errors, because we tend to miss them ("can't see the trees for the forest" type stuff).

I'll have to ask Manny about that specific line. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but I do see your point.

The reason why I suggest that is because I got utterly lost and confused reading that paragraph. I forgot who was at word - the author or the character? So...yeah. You understand where I'm coming from, right? If you take a look at it from the reader's perspective?

Some confusion is what we are aiming for, but we definitely want to orchestrate the confusion rather than it happen accidentally. I'm not sure yet which one this would fall under...I don't want to give anything away either.

Anyway. I've been dying for this fic and YAY it's finally going up! I'm working on a Vergil-centric collaboration with my good friend as well, and he's the one who coincidentally referred me to your Sparda fic in the first place about a year ago. So, I'm very curious to see where you go with this fic. Maybe it'll help inspire my worn out mind to create some real good madness for Vergil

Well, this isn't THE Vergil fic we've been wanting to work on, this one was more for "fun." Like I said, it is somewhere on the liminality between canon and non-canon. We do have another canon one prepared detailing the time immediately after DMC1, but that one is a while off as we have others to do. In any case, if we can inspire even a single person, we will consider our job done. The fandom really needs reinvigorating in these dark Kobayashi times.

 

[moseslmpg]

See first post.

 

[moseslmpg]

See above.

 

[moseslmpg]

Go to first post.

 

[The crazy demon]

I liked this one as the one before, specially the maniac laught of the demons.

I love to see a little maniac laughting, and i hope this one is as Epic as the one you did about Sparda

 

[Vampi]

Manny better hurry up and get working on the next chapter. I have been waiting for way too long. Can't wait what happens next.

 

[moseslmpg]

Bah, we'll gt to it. We're both busy guys you know.

Crazy: Alas, it won't be that epic. We aren't going for epicness in this fic, so it won't be as long and drawn out, but it may have its moments. Make sure you read everything carefully, as we have taken a little more care with what we put in each chapter of this fic, and some phrases have more meaning than others.

We do hope for this to be the first in at least a trilogy, and we already have the second one outlined, even though we haven't finished writing the first

 

[moseslmpg]

Hmm, what was i saying? Oh right: first post.

 

[Zany Blac]

Its very rare for writers to truly get and understand this universe, but you guys have outdone yourselves yet again with this fic, i cant wait to read more.

I have a dmc realted question tho, After the sword sparda was formed, i think it merged with the perfect amulet no? Cuz Dante gives Trish back the perfect amulet in after he takes that demon off her, im just not too sure about it, if you could clarify

 

[moseslmpg]

Ah, thank you, we try our best despite our chaotic schedules. I think the Vergil chapters tend to be deeper, and for some reason, much easier to write. Hopefully we can manifest the vision we have for this fic, but it ill be challenging. The next chapter is a special treat, one which I, the Editor, wrote for April Fool's day, as a self-satire of Vergil's tendency to describe things in detail and lack of fighting in his chapters. So look forward to that later.

As for the amulet, both Manny and I assume that the amulet is a relic in and of itself and that it was only used to store the unlocking power needed to awaken the Sparda. Sort of like a vaccine has a small amount of virus to spur the immune system to work, the amulet is not full of all of Sparda's power. We see it as merely a key, and we all now that when you use a key on a door it doesn't meld with it, and also that the key is no longer necessary when the door is open. So no, I don't think it merged with the sword, even though the jewels on it look the same.

 

[moseslmpg]

See below.

 

[moseslmpg]

Alas, see two posts above.

 

[Daring Dylan]

I usually don't comment on fics, but that was AWESOME! Can I have the link to it on FanFiction, please?

And I call dibs on being Danny's therapist! >D

 

[moseslmpg]

Arghh. Go to first post, I guess.

 

[Vampi]

I usually don't comment on fics, but that was AWESOME! Can I have the link to it on FanFiction, please?

And I call dibs on being Danny's therapist! >D

Ahem! Uh...i called dibs on that a long time ago while this fic was being written. So i'm Dan's therapist

 

[moseslmpg]

Look up.

 

[Zany Blac]

Hate to be a nag but... POST SOON!!!, I ve bin stalking this page soo much its bound to get a restraining order soon lol