Like a case of physically able to respond in a sexual way, but the mind is not bothered or can easily ignore the sexual physical responses?
I guess I mean more that you can be aware something or someone turns you on and have no control over the fact that it does. You can run away, ignore it, try to force yourself to unlike it, whichever... but your body responded automatically at the sight or presence, rather than you and your mind making a conscious decision that it digs it. Like... I have never made a conscious decision to be sexually attracted to anyone, ever. Those decisions are made by some other part of my head than the bit where I'm working the controls. I just suddenly become aware that they interest me, or that my chemicals are about to dance all over my sanity again.
Something else interesting.
I read women on forums saying how their body responds to the husband, but their mind is not in it, and as such they are put off sex. Or they do it for the sake of it but are resentful after. I do find that with women there is a mind aspect to it. Many women just can't have sex suddenly and be expected to like it.
Yeah, I think it's the case for some people. I would fit into the category that if I'm not turned on first, forget it, sex is not worth it without the attraction or the romance or something else there. I just don't have enough interest in sex to chase it for its own sake. A lot of people do, but I'm not one of those so I agree with this. If sex is like a drug that some people will do anything for, it's a drug that doesn't work on me and I don't understand how anyone could spend a lot of time and effort trying to get it. If it's with someone you are crazy for, it's amazing. If you're not that bothered about them, it seems kind of pointless IMO, and for a female with a guy who doesn't make an effort for her, can just be unpleasant I guess. Guys usually have it easier in getting pleasure from it I'd say, so some might fail to see why she doesn't just love it as much/easily as they do, and that can bring its own problems.
Also that women can be married to men and have children, but then they leave for a woman. So did they always like women and lived a lie, or does something happen that changes them? I think maybe again, a combination of both? I've read accounts where women said they loved their husbands, but when they found a lady they reall liked, the connection was more intense emotionally and they realised their husband could not do the same thing. It must be very confusing for a man when his wife or partner leaves for another lady. But it can't be helped, right? It's a shame people are coerced into situations that are not being true to themselves. It would save a lot of upset for all sides involved.
I think because we're raised by TV and movies and pop culture influences and our friends as much as we are by our family, we accept the heteronormative as kids because kids usually accept the order that's around them and don't question it until they start to grow up (and some realize they are 'different' from what they have been told is 'normal'). But then, the same could be said if the woman met another man who blew her mind, and she left her husband for - it could be anyone. You just don't know until you meet that 'someone' who or what they will be, or if you ever do... I don't think it's the gender of the person but the connection that trumps the husband there (unless she was just experimenting or going wild or something. But if she truly was "the one" then, she was, and as I said before whether you find the 'one' isn't much of a conscious choice either...) So we don't 'know' we're one thing or another until we discover something doesn't feel right - we all assume we are straight cis-gendered individuals at first, if that's how we're raised and we don't know any different until we either detect we are unhappy, or else find that something different is way better than what we thought was right.
Like people coming out after years and years trying to cover it up because the family would be upset; or people coming out after parents died because fear of what would be said was so great. Same with people who are tansgender or even transvestites being worried about reaction. It is a shame that people can't just be themselves when it's not hurting others.
Sometimes if you don't encounter much friction or notice in your life for it, like me, there's not much cause to talk about or care if you're gay or trans or whatever. I recently told a few people about it in my case, and they were like, "why didn't you say something before?" and seemed to think the fact I never had was weird, when in fact I'd just never been in a conversation where it felt natural or necessary bringing it up. I mentioned some of this type of stuff in passing to my mother recently and she didn't care about it either (not just in the sense she didn't mind but couldn't be bothered to carry on talking about it) so I assume it probably isn't that important to anybody but the person themselves most of the time (or else she genuinely doesn't care). I guess there are as many reasons as there are people and they're all personal and unique to them. But yeah, sad when something prevents people from just getting it in the open if they need to, or if their parents would throw them out in the street for not being the child they wanted, and things like that.
