Director: Listen up people, we must design the new Dante based on my look. Aside from that, the graphics should take on a whole new hippie style, and the colors must be vivid enough to shine the crap our of our players.
Graphic design: Why? This is too much different from past titles.
Director: So that my look can shine the crap out of our players. This reboot must be unique, so we should get rid of the lock on system. Without those annoying little circles around the demons, our players will focus more on the shiny graphics.
Battle design: What the f#$k? This is so bogus, it makes it too difficult to aim at your target accurately in long range battles. For instance, your sword wave is supposed to hit the chainsaw guy, but instead it ends up hitting the red shield sucker; or you accidentally grab the giant rat on the ground when your intention is the demon baby in the air. Veteran players will have complaints. At least put on a tiny mark on the target.
Director: NO NO NO, NO MARK OF ANY KIND AT ALL! If the player wants accurate lock on, he has to shoot first, then push the target change button, and then shoot and push the target change button, and repeat as such until they finally do lock on their target. This way, the skills of our players will be fiercely tested; if you can’t lock on who you want, you suck big time. Remember, our goal is break out of the box and create a ultra cynical and unconventional Dante. I just had some amazing ideas that we could add to the boss fights that are against public virtues, such as bullying the elderly and beating pregnant women.
Level design: ................
Director: Oh, before I forget, the media commented earlier that our original version of Dante looked rather SOB, so we had to redesign his look. Let’s make “attacking media reporters” one of the boss fights. These bosses must be extremely easy to defeat so players know that they are paper tigers. Of course, we also need to set some circumstances where they receive little to no damage, you know, just to screw with some new players.
Promotional manager: ............
Battle design: ................
Director: In addition, to make the levels appear more realistic, we need to design some platforms where both demons and Dante himself could fall off, and thees platforms must be everywhere. If we don’t have what it takes to make difficult puzzles, let there be as many jumping obstacles as possible.
Level design: Then it would be like Super Mario.
Director: Now that you mention it, don’t forget to make the flame shoot our from underground.
Level design: .................
Director: Last but not least, some demons must be completely immune to some weapons, like Borderlands 2 where you constantly switch between a lot of weapons. This way, we can make sure all weapons have their uses. Let’s not repeat the mistake of DMC3 where Nevan seems like the privilege of those small capitalists.
All: ......................
Director: Then it’s settled! People, let’s do this with our utmost potential. Our future is filled with brightness: with our quality, I have no doubt that all major forums will be bombarded with posts from hordes of SOBs after beating the game, even if only human difficulty. “Any confusion, just ask me.” The more suckers there are, the better DmC will sell. Meeting adjourned!
All: ...................................................................
Graphic design: Why? This is too much different from past titles.
Director: So that my look can shine the crap out of our players. This reboot must be unique, so we should get rid of the lock on system. Without those annoying little circles around the demons, our players will focus more on the shiny graphics.
Battle design: What the f#$k? This is so bogus, it makes it too difficult to aim at your target accurately in long range battles. For instance, your sword wave is supposed to hit the chainsaw guy, but instead it ends up hitting the red shield sucker; or you accidentally grab the giant rat on the ground when your intention is the demon baby in the air. Veteran players will have complaints. At least put on a tiny mark on the target.
Director: NO NO NO, NO MARK OF ANY KIND AT ALL! If the player wants accurate lock on, he has to shoot first, then push the target change button, and then shoot and push the target change button, and repeat as such until they finally do lock on their target. This way, the skills of our players will be fiercely tested; if you can’t lock on who you want, you suck big time. Remember, our goal is break out of the box and create a ultra cynical and unconventional Dante. I just had some amazing ideas that we could add to the boss fights that are against public virtues, such as bullying the elderly and beating pregnant women.
Level design: ................
Director: Oh, before I forget, the media commented earlier that our original version of Dante looked rather SOB, so we had to redesign his look. Let’s make “attacking media reporters” one of the boss fights. These bosses must be extremely easy to defeat so players know that they are paper tigers. Of course, we also need to set some circumstances where they receive little to no damage, you know, just to screw with some new players.
Promotional manager: ............
Battle design: ................
Director: In addition, to make the levels appear more realistic, we need to design some platforms where both demons and Dante himself could fall off, and thees platforms must be everywhere. If we don’t have what it takes to make difficult puzzles, let there be as many jumping obstacles as possible.
Level design: Then it would be like Super Mario.
Director: Now that you mention it, don’t forget to make the flame shoot our from underground.
Level design: .................
Director: Last but not least, some demons must be completely immune to some weapons, like Borderlands 2 where you constantly switch between a lot of weapons. This way, we can make sure all weapons have their uses. Let’s not repeat the mistake of DMC3 where Nevan seems like the privilege of those small capitalists.
All: ......................
Director: Then it’s settled! People, let’s do this with our utmost potential. Our future is filled with brightness: with our quality, I have no doubt that all major forums will be bombarded with posts from hordes of SOBs after beating the game, even if only human difficulty. “Any confusion, just ask me.” The more suckers there are, the better DmC will sell. Meeting adjourned!
All: ...................................................................
