Imponerables

[King Avallach]

Here are a few things to think about.


How can you have a self-help group?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it down to the centre of the Earth?

If you save time, when do you get it back?

If someone with a multiple personality disorder threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is it bad luck to be superstitious?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

If you try to fail but succeed, what have you done?

What do you see when you see an endangered animal about to eat an endangered plant?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


(note: these are for a laugh, feel free to add more)

 

[Vauxchen]

wow thats weird, they are weird, awesome aswel lol, i like the hostage thing lol

isnt it imponderables?

who put the butter in butterfly?

if its a "slow" day then what is it on the other side of the world?


from another site

Since the doctor always says to take two aspirins, why don't we just double their size?
Why, on TV, did "The Incredible Hulk's" shirt always rip but his pants never did?
If Superman could stop bullets with his chest, why did he always duck if the bad guy threw the gun at him?
Why is taking the skin off an animal "dressing", but taking our clothes off "undressing"?
Don't you have to "re-start" before refinishing a table?
Where does all the white go when the snow melts?

All the above have been sent in by Phil Williamson
What is an occasional table the remainder of the time? Also Ken Hanrahan-Smith
When does a large puddle become a pond, and a pond become a lake?

Clare Harding
Where is heaven?

Diane
Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes up hill?
Why are the buttons on mens' shirts on the opposite side to those on ladies' garments?

Steve Gould has very kindly sent in the answer to this one so really it is no longer an "imponderable" but I will leave it on this page in case it is of interest to others.

Men have been using button on vests, coats, jackets and shirts since the 13th century. Women didn’t start using buttons until the late 18th to early 19th century. At that time, buttons were very costly; only Royalty and the very wealthy could afford such a fashion novelty.

Most people are right handed. Men have always dressed themselves, so the buttons have always been on the right. The Royalty and Aristocracy had maids to help dress the Ladies, so the buttons were on the left, so that the person doing up the buttons, facing the lady, had them on the right.

Juliet Brook advises that the reason that men's shirts button across from the left is to prevent cuffs catching when a sword is drawn from the scabbard on the left with the right hand.

Leonard Khoo Chang Chiang has sent in another possible answer to this one -

According to Dennis Morris in his book Peoplewatching, the reason why women’s clothing have the buttons on the opposite side is due the way women tend to babies on their left. And since the baby is carried on the left, the mother will tend to breastfeed the baby on the right breast. And to protect the baby from the cold etc, the mother would use the right side of the clothing or cloak to cover the baby. And thus, the design of the buttons has been carried on till now.

I do not know which is correct, but I thought it would be interesting to add on another dimension to this Imponderable.

 

[Bad Wolf]

Why do we drive on a parkway, but park in a driveway?
If olive oil is made of olives, what is baby oil made from?
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10, but hot dog buns come in packages of 8?

 

[Vauxchen]

Why is baseball called the World Series if it is only played in the US?

Above three sent in by Sian Darvill
Why do we say the alarm went off when, in fact, it went on?

All the above contributed by Marc Kay

Perhaps we say this because originally alarms were mechanisms that alerted people to an intruder. They probably involved something on a tension that would be broken if someone or something were to step on it. Therefore the alarm would go off.

Tim

Once triggered the alarm was "off"


If a dwelling catches fire does it burn up or does it burn down?
If everyone lost 5 pounds would it throw the earth of its gravitational pull?
Where does weight go when people lose it?

Thanks to Christina Wozniak for the above three teaser.
How do you draw a blank?
If planets are in the sky, are we in the sky too?
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn't they be more specific and say "employees of this place only!?
If shampoo comes in so many colours, why is the lather on your head always white?

Thanks to Lisa Silver for these contributions
If you choke a Smurf what colour does it turn?

Anonymous contributor.
If Snickers satisfy, why do they make King Size?

Richard Wilson sent us this one.
When pigeons walk their heads bob up and down really fast, doesn't that give them a bad headache?
Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?

Sent in by Jonathan Harden (www.eviljonnys.com)
How can there be a competition for solo synchronised swimming?

Contributed by Stan Saunders
Why do people say "It's always in the last place you look"? Of course it is always in the last place you look, what kind of moron would keep on looking after he'd found it?

Nick Slawicz sent this contribution.
Why is a building called a building when it is already built?
Why is there only one Monopolies and Mergers Commission?

Sent in by Fay - thank you
If one of the synchronize swimmers drowns, do they all have to?
Why is it called a Doctors' Practice?

If the No. 2 pencil is so popular, why is it still No. 2?

Thanks to and anonymous contributor.
If you butter a piece of toast and drop it, it lands butter side down.
If you drop a cat it always lands on it's feet.
What would happen if you buttered the back of a cat and dropped that?

Thanks to Richard Whiting for this one!
People Who Ask 'Can I Ask You A Question?" Contributed by Natalie - thanks

When A Cop Pulls You Over And Asks You How Fast You Were Going. You Should Know Pal You Pulled Me Over.
When Something Is New And Improved. If It's New It Can't Have Been There Before But If It's Improved It Must Have Been There Before.
How Some People Will Get Off Their Lazy Asses And Search The Whole House For The Remote Control And Yet Won't Go And Change The Channel On The Set Manually.
If people say it's the best thing since sliced bread, what was the best thing before sliced bread?

Anonymous contributor.
If a fly had no wings is it a "walk"?
Why do Kamakasi bombers wear helmets?
Why is the lethal injection needle sterilised?
Why is there an eject button on the remote when you have to get up to get the video?

Above all sent in by Catrin - thank you
Why do you drive in a parkway but park in a driveway?
Why do they sell cigarettes at gas stations?

Anonymous contributor.
Do bees get wax in their ears?
Has anyone ever admitted to having an ugly baby?
If the Beatles were so good why did Oasis have to rewrite all their songs?
Why are there no TV adverts for pencils?

Another Anonymous contributor.
Why do parking meters only take 20p coins - you never ever have any to put in?
Why do radio DJ's play a great song then don't tell you who sings?
Why is there always someone behind you when driving in quiet country lanes?
Why do priests sing in church when its obvious that they can't sing for England?
Why, on radio shows, do they always talk about the most interesting item at the end of the show?*
Why do people always keep old raffle tickets in their wallets or purses when the draw was months ago and they obviously haven't won?*
Why do old aged pensioners always tell you their ages?

Thanks to Paul Edgar for these.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work?
Why is the Welsh language spelled wrongly?
How do you play Chinese scrabble?

These were all contributed by Keith Templeman - thanks.
What colour hair do bald men put down on their driver's licence?
What happens when curly haired people watch something that curls their hair?

Thanks to Patricia Powell for these gems.
Why do psychics advertise? Don't they know who their customers are and shouldn't they seek them out?

This contribution received from Mitch Plott - thanks.
What would happen if night fell and the earth wasn't there to catch it?

Thanks to Sarah Balfour for this contribution.

The black box flight recorder is painted orange, so why don't they call it an orange box?

Bev sent us this one, thankyou.

I am led to believe that, after burning, the box turns black - hence the name but I am not sure if this is true or not.


When a fly lands on the ceiling, at what point does it turn upside down?

Thanks to Paul Mattson for this one
Definition of pain - letting off wind in a space suit.
Definition of sadness - dying of starvation in a food store.

Thanks to Jason Lewis for these!
Definition of a "ghetto blaster". A terrorist in a slum neighbourhood.
Definition of "drag racing". Racing from Point A to point B while wearing clothing of the opposite attire

Thanks to Barry Munro for these two.
Is it because light travels faster than sound that some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow how cold will it be?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
If man evolved from monkey and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Man did NOT evolve from monkeys and apes. Monkeys, apes, humans, and all other modern primates evolved from a common primate ancestor. Mystery solved! (by G)
Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
Why is it called the tourist season if you can't shoot them?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash why isn't the whole plane made out of the same stuff?

Alan Jameson kindly sent in all the above.

If a plane were made of the same material as a little black box the plane would be too heavy to fly! This is coming from a 6 year old.

Maria Barraza
Why is it that when you blow in a dogs face he doesn't like it, but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out of the window?

Anon
If a dog's sense of smell is 100 times greater than a human's, why do they have to stick their noses up your butt?

James Wilhite

i know its alot, but i just read through them and i wanted to put them on and give credit to the writers, from the same site



EDIT:http://www.hintsandthings.co.uk/games/imponderables2.htm is the website i used, with 3 more pages of them! i good read IMO

 

[Koemi]

Heard something like these somewhere...

- how should you call a male ladybug?
- if fire fighters fight fire, what do peace fighters do?
- if you can't drink while you drive, why do you need to show your driver's license (in USA at least) when you're buying them?
- if panda is black and white, what color should a red panda has?