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ILoveVergil vs Baby Devil

Baby Devil

Well-known Member
Ok. we will have 2 weeks to get our story in. Obviously whoever doesn't post their story the other person wins by default.

Our judge is Vordan

Our topic will be "Uncontrollable Curse"

Good luck.
 

IloveVergil

Demon a$$-kicker
Alright here's the first part of my story:

Title:Uncontrollable Curse
Genre:Action/Adventure/Humor
Summary:Not all curses are that bad...


“Man, these losers aren’t even worth our time!”

“For once, Dante, I must agree with you. It is a complete waste of our precious time, dirtying our hands with such lowly vermin.”

“At least it’s better than watching movies at home.”

“True.” Vergil agreed again.

The twins stood in the middle of the courtyard of a Victorian Manor, identical grins on their identical faces as they disposed of the swarm of hell prides attacking them. Both faced the opposite direction of the other, their backs almost touching. Though it seemed as if they were watching each other’s back, they truly weren’t. There wasn’t any need of that. Either of them could have taken all of these low class demons without even breaking a sweat, but they just took their time and had a little fun blasting their way through towards the huge mansion.

“Why do you think Trish even bothered to call us, bro? She’s more than capable of taking out these assholes.”

“Women have this attitude to squeak at the smallest troubles, Dante. I’m sure you know that.”

“Yeah, but Trish isn’t like that. Something’s wrong here, man. I smell a rat.”

“Must be your own body odor, Dante. Your distaste for personal hygiene really makes me wonder how I’m related to a slob like you.”

“Hey! I take a shower every single day! It was your fault to chop up those Arachnes and throwing them right on top of me! I got covered in this sticky slime all over again!”

“Your reflexes are too slow, Dante, or else you could have dodged.”

“Git.”

“Shut up and let’s go inside.”

“Hmph! Okay, but I’ll get back to you for what you said.”

“I look forward to it.”


Vergil entered the main building first, then beckoned Dante to follow by the gesture of his hand.

Blowing up yet another Hell Sloth with a single shot from Ivory, Dante ran towards his brother and closed the gap between them within two seconds. As they observed the surroundings, their pale eyebrows arched alike slightly in suspicion.

The house was huge; there was a very gigantic hall upon entering which must have been quite splendid once. But now it looked nothing more than a haunted house. Weird marks and signs were all over the walls and on the floor, and sprinkled bloodstains on an altar in the middle proved the occurrence of a recent demonic ritual. From what they knew, this place belonged to a very rich mysterious man, who had recently been accused of engaging in suspicious activities, and from the look of the house, the rumors seemed genuine.

Trish had been the one who was charged with investigating the rumors, but she hadn’t returned in several hours after she left the Devil May Cry office. Then, in the middle of the night, she had phoned Dante (who had been enjoying a rare peaceful sleep after many weeks), telling him to come to the spot immediately.

So they were here, and no signs of Trish were to be found. Not yet, at least.

Dante noticed a Blood goyles’ nest on one of the ceiling lamps. He scoffed and turned away. Suddenly an idea popped inside his head,making his mouth twitch with a grin. Turning back, he raised his gun and shot it down, a mischievous smirk on his lips.

Just like Dante had planned, it landed right on top of Vergil’s head.


“Ouch! What the hell?” Vergil bellowed, but was forced to restrain his wrath towards Dante as the disturbed Blood goyles swarmed around him. Needless to say they didn’t last more than half of a minute. After sending the last one to its doom by a shooting a phantom sword through it, he turned to Dante expecting an apology, only to find him smirking.

“Your reflexes are too slow, Vergil, or else you could have dodged.” Dante mimicked Vergil’s words and flashed him one of his trademark “GOTCHA!” smirk.

That ****ed Vergil off high time. Fuming, he aimed a phantom sword right at Dante’s nose, who easily dodged it, causing the sword to hit the grandfather clock behind him.

Both men jumped backwards towards the wall as the ground began shaking and a large opening appeared in the middle of the floor.

“What is that?” Dante asked.

“Apparently, it’s a secret door to the basement of this manor. I guess there was some kind of mechanism in that clock to open it.” Vergil mused. “Let’s go.”

Forgetting their quarrel for the rime being ( which was becoming a regular thing for them now), the twins strode forward and descended by the dark stairs.



I know people are wondering "Where is the curse?" Well hold still please...
:p
 

Vordan

AC Pilot
I think I might just judge that as it stands.

Creativity: 6/10 - Pinky described this as "how well you develop the criteria set by Baby Devil", or something to that effect. I haven't seen this curse yet, but it's a great start. Obviously, this mark will rise as the story progresses.

Spelling and Punctuation: 10/10 - Flawless. Nuff said.

Storyline: 8/10 - I was hooked from the get go. Everybody loves watching the twins deal demonic death as only they can.

Detail: 8/10 - Great descriptive language and an extensive vocabulary.

Overall Mark: 32/40 - Awesome story so far Nowshin, and it can only get better.
 

IloveVergil

Demon a$$-kicker
Well how are they at odds, I may ask? I work hard hard on my story and you work on yours...and voila! Two great piece of literature on the boards.:wub:

I know,I am an egotist with no shame :p
 

Vordan

AC Pilot
You wanna raise your score, Nowshin? Then hurry up with Part 2! I only gave you a 6 because, as I said, I haven't seen this "curse" yet.
 

Curse

Cursed Girl
Baby Devil;38568 said:
Ok. we will have 2 weeks to get our story in. Obviously whoever doesn't post their story the other person wins by default.

Our judge is Vordan

Our topic will be "Uncontrollable Curse"

Good luck.

hey what do i hawe to do with this?! o_O
 

Demons Destiny

Silenced Vampire
lol but i understand, thats a silly joke. thats the sort of joke i make because i am rubbish at jokes lol
anyway good story Ilovevergil, its pretty good ^_^
 

Baby Devil

Well-known Member
Heres my story.

New York....

The New York streets were dark and cold when a breeze blew by everyones face. Its 12 in the morning and a young man named Clyde is at his secret office that was located in a empty lot that was abandoned for a good 30 years..

Clyde is at his desk with his legs folded across the table.

Clyde was a mysterious guy he had a past that was related to our superhero demon slayer. Clyde was the son of Rasinoki. Rasinoki was a great warrior that worked besides the infamous sparda. Therefore Clyde had the blood of a full breed demon pumping throughout his body.

Clyde puts his hands behind his head looking up the fluorescent lightbulb that flickered on and off. He also had a secret in the back of his office. What was it?

Clyde was a real thinker that put his mind to anything when he could. He hops off the desk with his hands in his black jeans. He walks towards the back and talks to himself.

"My father, Rasinoki....I would avenge you. Sparda betrayed you but for what reason? You never told me. But that doesn't matter now cuz your dead. I will put a curse on the son of Sparda."

He clutches his fist inside his pants. He now is fueled with anger thats giving him a tempted feeling to punch a hole in the wall.

He stops and hears a guttural voice grumbling.

"Shut up! Im your caretaker and you do what I say."Clyde said shouting into the darkness.

Inside the darkness two green eyes light up. It looks like something or someone was happy but it was definately negative energy.

The green eyed beast responds."I will tell you who sparda sons are. They killed my brother Beowulf."

Clyde strokes his goatee and gives it thought. Maybe he can put this beast up to something good for once.

"Well who was it? Im dying to know."

"Their names are Dante and Vergil! They are the ones you are looking for!"

Clyde eyes lit up green also."How can I know your telling the truth?"

"Trust me."

Clyde walks into the dark and opens a huge cage. The beast was similar to Beowulf but smaller. He was taller than Clyde. It stood upright taking in the fresh air trying to redeem itself from the agonizing time inside the cage.

"Ok. I'll need you to do me a favor.Here." Clyde puts his hand on the beast chest. A auora of red glowing light traveled into the beast."I want you to kill them for me. Once you shed blood make sure it gets on him because what I put into your bloodstream is like poison except it won't effect you, got it?"

The beast shows it long jagged teeth.

"Now if you fail. Trust me I will butcher you and feed you to the dog shelter or even incinerate your body."

This way he trying to get the creature to do his dirty work.

Clyde walks over to the boom box while the light shone on his tan skin. He turns the radio on and listens to "Miss Murder" by AFI. Its turned up really loud.

The beast hurriedly burst through the roof and flys away.

Chapter 2......Coming soon
 

Vordan

AC Pilot
Lol, Beowulf all over again. I'll judge that.

Creativity: 7/10 - Perhaps this poison is the curse you're looking for in these stories. Of course, you're bound to get a high mark in this category, since it was you who set that criteria. Still, only time will tell.

Spelling & Punctuation: 8/10 - A few small mistakes here and there, but even these two points can be the difference between victory and defeat. Rectify those mistakes in your next chapter and we'll see how this mark changes.

Storyline: 8/10 - We have a half-demon warrior who wants to kill Dante and Vergil because of something Sparda did. Not the most original idea I've ever seen, but it's a nice approach. As Dante said after fighting Beowulf - "Why do I have to take the heat for my father? Come on, man, cut me some slack!"

Detail: 7/10 - Could have improved the description of Clyde and the beast, but otherwise rather good.

Overall Mark: 30/40 - Some room for improvement, but it's not impossible to steal the lead. We'll see how this shapes up when you and Nowshin have posted the second part of your entries.
 

Baby Devil

Well-known Member
GOOD!!! I was trying to make the use of Biological warfare handy. But you'll see what im going to do in my next entry. LOL
 

Vordan

AC Pilot
Just to let y'all know, I'm going on holiday tomorrow, so I won't be around for a fortnight unless the resort has Internet access, which I doubt. Nowshin, Baby Devil, you have until I get back to post the rest of your entries, and I'll judge them on the Tuesday.
 
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