I don't know how..

[Vergillicious]

"Learn to love yourself before you can love another"

I don't know how to love myself, I don't know myself worth..so does that mean I'll be alone forever?

 

[Dennis91]

No, it doesn't. It's just hard to create a stable relationship without loving yourself. Not any relationship.



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XBOX gaming only & forever.
Classic consoles collector.

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

Personally, I've always found it sort of silly, that people feel pressured to adhere to these adages before they can be happy; not that it isn't important to like, love, or respect yourself-it is. But, that particular phrase about "loving yourself first" can be taken so many ways.

I don't love myself; I don't think I ever could, and while my relationship had an unstable beginning, it has lasted nearly ten years, and has gotten stronger through all of the hardships we've faced-both as individuals, and as a couple.

I don't think the adage is pointing toward vain love; I think it points toward respecting and liking yourself enough that you won't settle for less than what you really need from yourself, and from others.

Notice I said need, as opposed to want; need being more important, because what we need is not always what we want-but it is what will benefit us, in the long run.

In short, do you respect yourself, as a person? Do you recognize your worth, and the worth of those around you? Once you realize you are worth just as much as the people around you, and recognize your individual gifts, perhaps then you will have the confidence you need to find the person you wish to spend, if not your life with, a good portion of it.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

"Learn to love yourself before you can love another"

I don't know how to love myself, I don't know myself worth..so does that mean I'll be alone forever?

Nope, that means you're humble and selfless. People will see that and some will envy you for it because for a lot of people it's all about me,me, me. A lot of people don't know the true definiton of love and have these deluded ideas of what it is.
A word of advise: don't go looking for love because you won't find it. Love finds you, as sappy as that sounds, but that's how it works.

 

[V]

It takes years to come to terms with yourself. Maybe your whole life. Also I don't think it's true that if you don't "love yourself" you can't love anyone else. Seems to be a thing people say but I've never found it to have a lot of substance.

But what it might mean is that until you can cope with yourself you shouldn't go needing someone else to fill that gap. Which is pretty sensible. Because I don't think that's a gap anyone else can fill.

 

[Vergillicious]

It takes years to come to terms with yourself. Maybe your whole life. Also I don't think it's true that if you don't "love yourself" you can't love anyone else. Seems to be a thing people say but I've never found it to have a lot of substance.

But what it might mean is that until you can cope with yourself you shouldn't go needing someone else to fill that gap. Which is pretty sensible. Because I don't think that's a gap anyone else can fill.

Are you single, how do you cope with these feelings? I mean I have someone but I feel that I need to fix myself before I can keep the relationship going. I mean I have doubts and feelings that he doesnt want me just cause he looks at other girls.

 

[Vergillicious]

Personally, I've always found it sort of silly, that people feel pressured to adhere to these adages before they can be happy; not that it isn't important to like, love, or respect yourself-it is. But, that particular phrase about "loving yourself first" can be taken so many ways.

I don't love myself; I don't think I ever could, and while my relationship had an unstable beginning, it has lasted nearly ten years, and has gotten stronger through all of the hardships we've faced-both as individuals, and as a couple.

I don't think the adage is pointing toward vain love; I think it points toward respecting and liking yourself enough that you won't settle for less than what you really need from yourself, and from others.

Notice I said need, as opposed to want; need being more important, because what we need is not always what we want-but it is what will benefit us, in the long run.

In short, do you respect yourself, as a person? Do you recognize your worth, and the worth of those around you? Once you realize you are worth just as much as the people around you, and recognize your individual gifts, perhaps then you will have the confidence you need to find the person you wish to spend, if not your life with, a good portion of it.

Well, before I had gotten in my relationship I was happy but I also had my heart set on someone else. But I was happy being single I was going to accept the fact that im alone. But then I met the guy that im with now. But my feelings werent strong for him as they were for the other guy. And soon afterwards he has told me who he liked before me and he's still friends with her and then theres another girl that he told was gorgeous on facebook (this was when we were still dating) and then he looks at other girls and that makes me feel that he doesn't want me like he said he does. So im always going to have that doubt until I fix myself..we've been together for about 6 months now, but maybe I should just not be with anyone.

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

The stage you're in with your boyfriend isn't much different from where I was at the start of mine-except I didn't want anyone else (yet feared my partner did). It's a very vulnerable time for both of you, though by the sound of it, more so for you.

It is up to you and your boyfriend to decide what you can and cannot deal with in your relationship right now, and to set the parameters of that together. I cannot stress the importance of communication enough: whatever you're feeling, whatever you're going through, you both need to be able to confide in one another, and do so in a healthy manner (without outbursts and accusations, though it's too idealistic to hope arguments will never occur; besides, arguing, provided it isn't excessive, can be healthy, and can help strengthen the bonds between you).

It's difficult to say whether you need to make changes or not-but either way, it has to be your choice, and more importantly, you need to do it for yourself, and no one else. I don't mean physical changes (unless health is a concern), but the kinds that involve broadening your perception of things, and allowing you peace of mind.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Are you single, how do you cope with these feelings? I mean I have someone but I feel that I need to fix myself before I can keep the relationship going. I mean I have doubts and feelings that he doesnt want me just cause he looks at other girls.

Doesn't sound to me like you need any fixing. Him, on the other hand, needs a reality check.
Do what I do. Take notice of the girl he's looking at. Comment about her clothes, or whatever else you think has caught his eye, ie. I wonder how much hairspray she had to use to get her hair like that, or, jeeze I guess she never heard of pants, OR if you can't say anything negative, just say well she's pretty, don't you think so?
If you can't talk to him about his wandering eyes and how much it affects you, just open the door by making comments like that.
Because what you're really saying is: I'm paying attention to you, I see what you see, and I'm not all that impressed by it.
My favourite lines that used to get a lot of use in the past are 'you can't be serious, that girl? What is wrong with you?' and ''Would you like me to get her number for you?'
The fact is that all guys look, single or taken, openly or discreetly. Men like to look. You can discourage it as I have, but you can't stop him completely. What ought to matter is his reaction to your reaction. As long as it doesn't go beyond looking or near flirting, you shouldn't have to put him in the awkward and embarrassing situation where you actually go tell the other person that he's been staring at her like a creepy stalker and that you were pretending to get her number for him so he wouldn't follow her home. Best case scenario, she gives him a dirty look and thanks you. Worst case scenario, she looks at you both like that and runs the other way.

 

[Vergillicious]

Doesn't sound to me like you need any fixing. Him, on the other hand, needs a reality check.
Do what I do. Take notice of the girl he's looking at. Comment about her clothes, or whatever else you think has caught his eye, ie. I wonder how much hairspray she had to use to get her hair like that, or, jeeze I guess she never heard of pants, OR if you can't say anything negative, just say well she's pretty, don't you think so?
If you can't talk to him about his wandering eyes and how much it affects you, just open the door by making comments like that.
Because what you're really saying is: I'm paying attention to you, I see what you see, and I'm not all that impressed by it.
My favourite lines that used to get a lot of use in the past are 'you can't be serious, that girl? What is wrong with you?' and ''Would you like me to get her number for you?'
The fact is that all guys look, single or taken, openly or discreetly. Men like to look. You can discourage it as I have, but you can't stop him completely. What ought to matter is his reaction to your reaction. As long as it doesn't go beyond looking or near flirting, you shouldn't have to put him in the awkward and embarrassing situation where you actually go tell the other person that he's been staring at her like a creepy stalker and that you were pretending to get her number for him so he wouldn't follow her home. Best case scenario, she gives him a dirty look and thanks you. Worst case scenario, she looks at you both like that and runs the other way.

Yeah but doing that will only make him not want to be around me and that he looks at everyone. I really hate that saying "I only have eyes for you" I mean what the hell is that suppose to mean? But I just took a break just to get my **** together. Cause people tell me otherwise but I feel that something bad is going to happen, but maybe thats just my insecurities talking and my mind is over thinking. And then he said he'd wait for me when im ready to come back as long as it takes..but I dont know. I've talked to him about it and he says that he wasnt checking her out, and then one day when we went to the store as we were about to leave he gets stopped by a girlfriend of his and her little girl and after they talked he says shes so cute just like her mother..and I get a little jealous cause he said that about her and I dont talk to him for awhile after that

 

[Shin Muramasa]

That's one thing I heard and have in my head from time to time... For me, it goes more like "love others, but damn yourself".

I could never bring myself to hate anyone. Frustrated maybe or very angry, but never hate. People say they hate people like Stalin and Hitler, but even then, I cannot bring myself to hate them. I dislike them and believe they are terrible human beings, but there is still merit in being able to influence, manipulate, and/or control hundreds of thousands of people. A great leader is great, good or bad.

You could burn me on a stake, betray me every way possible, torture me to oblivion, send me to hell, frame me, dehumanize me, leave me in a catatonic state, or leave me for dead, but even still, I don't think I could hate you. Hate's just not in my blood; self-hatred is.

I don't know how to be humble, but I do know how to be a self-deprecating, self-loathing, self-damning jackass. I was at a point where I would even say serial killers, rapists, crazed dictators, and insane religious fanatics were better people than me. Why? Well, they had something I didn't: a drive. They had motivation to do what they did, no matter how twisted. Me, I didn't have squat; all my work felt like a machine's work. Done for the sake of doing. No love. No passion. Only suffering and indifference. That lead to anger when I knew others pour all they could into their work and either improved very little or utterly failed. I hated how quick I could learn and how easy things came to me. I felt it was unfair.

I probably offended a ton of people for saying my work was utter **** when in reality it wasn't. Hell, it might have even been amazing to others.

I didn't blame anyone, but myself. I blamed myself for all my mistakes, some of which never even existed. I blamed myself for pretty much everything. Hell, I'd blame myself for world hunger, mortality, and poverty. I felt like I gave off an aura of anger, hatred, and negativity. Misfortune was all that you get from me.

Now, try being in love. All that time, you'd think you were worthless. You'd think you would drag her down. And even if it did work, she would never be happy with you. Four years wondering what the hell would happen. So I told her and got what I wanted: to stay as friends. It was the most that I wanted so I could learn to accept and respect myself rather than damn, stall, and hate myself.

So, to condense this: know or learn to know yourself more and instead of changing yourself, become a better person instead of a different person. You don't have to super happy, super lovey-dovey, or super optimistic. If anything, look up Max Payne or just see the third game. He's an awesome character, but a terrible person. By the end of 3, he does come to terms with who he is and stops dwelling in the past and feeling he's just a washed-out, murderous, angry cop.

As for the looking thing. I attribute that to my poor eyesight and boredom. Since I can't see far away, I still take into account changes in my field of view. Scanning the area just became a habit. When I'm bored, I will look around, but everyone does that or well, everyone used to do that before everyone had phones. It's just weird to look around and then someone looks at you thinking you're looking at them. It's a habit, sorry. I'm not trying to do anything, but look out for incoming objects that may or may not be there.

 

[V]

Are you single, how do you cope with these feelings? I mean I have someone but I feel that I need to fix myself before I can keep the relationship going. I mean I have doubts and feelings that he doesnt want me just cause he looks at other girls.

No, I'm in a relationship as well. It's a legit fear for anyone that their bf is gonna go off with someone else. I think anyone who cares they're in a relationship must think about that one some point or other.

I guess just try to remember nobody's perfect, no relationship is perfect either. There's no point throwing something decent away just because it didn't go perfectly to start, at least that's my thought. And you can never eliminate the risk the other person might choose someone else (or you might fall for someone else)... but you can try to enjoy what you have when you have it. All we can do with anything in life, I guess. Anything at all we've got can be taken away, but living in fear of that will just prevent you from really living.

 

[Loopy]

Doesn't sound to me like you need any fixing. Him, on the other hand, needs a reality check.

The guy is just doing what a guy does.
Rightly or wrongly, guys have a tendency to stare, some more than others, and some more obviously than others. Women stare too.
There’s only so many times a guy can be told, and then what? It’s better to fix your own personal issues of insecurity than try to fix someone else who might not change.

I'm not completely absolving the guy for staring, but at the same time, the onus for making a relationship work should not be placed solely on the guy. A relationship takes two people, and it needs communication with two mature people who can resolve their personal issues and the issues that arise from a relationship.

Do what I do. Take notice of the girl he's looking at. Comment about her clothes, or whatever else you think has caught his eye, ie. I wonder how much hairspray she had to use to get her hair like that, or, jeeze I guess she never heard of pants, OR if you can't say anything negative, just say well she's pretty, don't you think so?

I don't see why you have to tear the other woman down in the process though, especially if she is unaware of the staring. Sure if she's flirting and he's flirting, then rein both of them in. But if a lady looks good and a guy notices that, then it's not her fault. It's not exactly the guy's fault either. If a woman is hot, of course she's going to be noticed. It all depends on what happens after that matters.

I don't see the harm, unless it leads to something more. There are lots of attractive women in the world and it's not like it's legal to take a guy outside with a blindfold on. :tongue:

Sure, if the staring is really a bother, then tell the guy outright that his staring is hurtful. Shouldn't have to resort to putting him off by saying things like: this woman is too fat, she dresses like a slut, or I bet she sleeps with lots of guys.
It's not the woman's fault the guy is staring, so why should she get the harsh comments just to make the girlfriend feel better about herself over a threat to the relationship that probably doesn't even exist?

I check out women sometimes, and guys, with my guy around and he knows I' not going to go off with them, so he doesn't feel the need to make snide comments about someone he doesn't know. I'm with him because I like him for him, it's not about looks, not now anyway.

I don't mind him looking at other women either. I'm not some paranoid highschooler who thinks he's going to leave me for a woman he glanced at.
Same goes for having opposite gender friends. I have guy friends and he's cool with that, so why should it be any different for him and his female friends? I'm not worried that he'd leave me for a friend.

But, to be realistic, if he ever did want to break up, or I did, I hope we would be mature and talk about it like adults. I'd want an amicable split instead of childish going behind each other's backs.

Back to the staring thing.
When my guy looks, I know it's just a glance, he's looking, but it's a superficial thing. I believe him and trust him implicitly when he says he's with me and that the looking means nothing. Sometimes he’s not even aware he’s doing it. :laugh:

Same goes for me and looking at a guy or woman. It’s a superficial thing. Sometimes I’m staring because I think the outfit or hair is cool, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to leave my guy for another guy. I don’t even know the guy I’m checking out. He could be a real jerk or something. :tongue:
Point is, if we didn't trust each other, then it would be a relationship full of paranoia and insecurity.

Well, before I had gotten in my relationship I was happy but I also had my heart set on someone else. But I was happy being single I was going to accept the fact that im alone. But then I met the guy that im with now. But my feelings werent strong for him as they were for the other guy. And soon afterwards he has told me who he liked before me and he's still friends with her and then theres another girl that he told was gorgeous on facebook (this was when we were still dating) and then he looks at other girls and that makes me feel that he doesn't want me like he said he does. So im always going to have that doubt until I fix myself..we've been together for about 6 months now, but maybe I should just not be with anyone.

So, let me get this straight. You want to be with someone else and yet you decide to be with this other guy? What is the point being with this guy if you want to be with someone else? It's leading him on.
And if this guy you are with now likes another girl, it's no different from you holding out for this other guy...unless your feelings have changed by now. Don't get jealous of him looking at other women if you're holding out for another guy too.

Besides, being jealous of looking is the least of your worries. Looking- who cares. But kissing someone else, saying they want to be with that woman more, or sleeping with them, they're signs of serious problems.
Some men can't help looking at women, especially attractive ones. Looking is no big deal, acting on it is another thing entirely.

And anyway, there must be some reason he wants to be with you and not these other women that he checks out. If he wanted to be with them and not with you, I'm sure he would've left by now. So don't take every woman he looks at or talks to as a threat. It's totally insecure and just leads to a miserable relationships and self-image problems when you're constantly comparing yourself to others. You are you and that's what makes you special. Hold on to that. :happy:

Besides, your relationship is still very new. Who’s to say you won't find someone else or he won't. So long as he's not using you for future -farming and using you till a girl he really likes becomes available, the what's the problem?

And if you're not ready for a guy to have female friends or be on good terms with previous girlfriends, then don't be with the guy. If you can't handle that, then you're not ready for a relationship with that person. People have pasts and it's something that mature people have to deal with when they enter into a relationship.


Considering the relationship problems you've posted about on here before, maybe you do need to take a break and sort yourself out. First there was the guy who only talked to you only while drunk and led you on, then the other one who kept saying how much he liked someone else in stead of you, and the one who tried to get you to move away and leave your support network behind.

You're just falling for losers and letting them tear you down. Focus on you, find out what you like, be secure in yourself and respect yourself. It'll stop losers taking advantage and making you feel insecure. You don't have to be with someone, especially if that someone is dragging you down. You don't need someone who is making dents in your confidence and self-image.

But whatever choice you make, it has to be yours and yours alone. It's your life, not mine, not anyone else on here either. If you think you can't cope with a guy checking out other ladies, and don't feel comfortable with him talking to other women, then don't be with him.

 

[Vergillicious]

The guy is just doing what a guy does.
Rightly or wrongly, guys have a tendency to stare, some more than others, and some more obviously than others. Women stare too.
There’s only so many times a guy can be told, and then what? It’s better to fix your own personal issues of insecurity than try to fix someone else who might not change.

I'm not completely absolving the guy for staring, but at the same time, the onus for making a relationship work should not be placed solely on the guy. A relationship takes two people, and it needs communication with two mature people who can resolve their personal issues and the issues that arise from a relationship.



I don't see why you have to tear the other woman down in the process though, especially if she is unaware of the staring. Sure if she's flirting and he's flirting, then rein both of them in. But if a lady looks good and a guy notices that, then it's not her fault. It's not exactly the guy's fault either. If a woman is hot, of course she's going to be noticed. It all depends on what happens after that matters.

I don't see the harm, unless it leads to something more. There are lots of attractive women in the world and it's not like it's legal to take a guy outside with a blindfold on. :tongue:

Sure, if the staring is really a bother, then tell the guy outright that his staring is hurtful. Shouldn't have to resort to putting him off by saying things like: this woman is too fat, she dresses like a slut, or I bet she sleeps with lots of guys.
It's not the woman's fault the guy is staring, so why should she get the harsh comments just to make the girlfriend feel better about herself over a threat to the relationship that probably doesn't even exist?

I check out women sometimes, and guys, with my guy around and he knows I' not going to go off with them, so he doesn't feel the need to make snide comments about someone he doesn't know. I'm with him because I like him for him, it's not about looks, not now anyway.

I don't mind him looking at other women either. I'm not some paranoid highschooler who thinks he's going to leave me for a woman he glanced at.
Same goes for having opposite gender friends. I have guy friends and he's cool with that, so why should it be any different for him and his female friends? I'm not worried that he'd leave me for a friend.

But, to be realistic, if he ever did want to break up, or I did, I hope we would be mature and talk about it like adults. I'd want an amicable split instead of childish going behind each other's backs.

Back to the staring thing.
When my guy looks, I know it's just a glance, he's looking, but it's a superficial thing. I believe him and trust him implicitly when he says he's with me and that the looking means nothing. Sometimes he’s not even aware he’s doing it. :laugh:

Same goes for me and looking at a guy or woman. It’s a superficial thing. Sometimes I’m staring because I think the outfit or hair is cool, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to leave my guy for another guy. I don’t even know the guy I’m checking out. He could be a real jerk or something. :tongue:
Point is, if we didn't trust each other, then it would be a relationship full of paranoia and insecurity.



So, let me get this straight. You want to be with someone else and yet you decide to be with this other guy? What is the point being with this guy if you want to be with someone else? It's leading him on.
And if this guy you are with now likes another girl, it's no different from you holding out for this other guy...unless your feelings have changed by now. Don't get jealous of him looking at other women if you're holding out for another guy too.

Besides, being jealous of looking is the least of your worries. Looking- who cares. But kissing someone else, saying they want to be with that woman more, or sleeping with them, they're signs of serious problems.
Some men can't help looking at women, especially attractive ones. Looking is no big deal, acting on it is another thing entirely.

And anyway, there must be some reason he wants to be with you and not these other women that he checks out. If he wanted to be with them and not with you, I'm sure he would've left by now. So don't take every woman he looks at or talks to as a threat. It's totally insecure and just leads to a miserable relationships and self-image problems when you're constantly comparing yourself to others. You are you and that's what makes you special. Hold on to that. :happy:

Besides, your relationship is still very new. Who’s to say you won't find someone else or he won't. So long as he's not using you for future -farming and using you till a girl he really likes becomes available, the what's the problem?

And if you're not ready for a guy to have female friends or be on good terms with previous girlfriends, then don't be with the guy. If you can't handle that, then you're not ready for a relationship with that person. People have pasts and it's something that mature people have to deal with when they enter into a relationship.


Considering the relationship problems you've posted about on here before, maybe you do need to take a break and sort yourself out. First there was the guy who only talked to you only while drunk and led you on, then the other one who kept saying how much he liked someone else in stead of you, and the one who tried to get you to move away and leave your support network behind.

You're just falling for losers and letting them tear you down. Focus on you, find out what you like, be secure in yourself and respect yourself. It'll stop losers taking advantage and making you feel insecure. You don't have to be with someone, especially if that someone is dragging you down. You don't need someone who is making dents in your confidence and self-image.

But whatever choice you make, it has to be yours and yours alone. It's your life, not mine, not anyone else on here either. If you think you can't cope with a guy checking out other ladies, and don't feel comfortable with him talking to other women, then don't be with him.

No, I gave up on the other guy, I dont want to lead anyone on, besides that messed up. Its my insecurities that are getting the best of me. He can only take so much until he walks away. I feel that im not good for him the way that I am now. So I told him that I need to deal with myself first. And he said he'd wait as long as it takes.

 

[Demi-fiend]

Oh God. You put him in the Friend Zone.

 

[Loopy]

No, I gave up on the other guy, I dont want to lead anyone on, besides that messed up. Its my insecurities that are getting the best of me. He can only take so much until he walks away. I feel that im not good for him the way that I am now. So I told him that I need to deal with myself first. And he said he'd wait as long as it takes.

So do you mean you are with the guy who looks at other women until you sort yourself out enough to be with the guy who said he will wait?

Or do you mean you don't want to be with the guy who looks at other women until you have dealt with yourself?

I'm a little confused. :tongue:

But if you mean you're not with the guy who looks at other women until you deal with yourself, then that's a sound attitude to have. It's no good being in a relationship if you're second guessing every glance and comment. You need to be able to trust and respect a partner implicitly or it just isn't going to work. If there's no mutual trust or respect, then what holds the relationship together?

 

[Vergillicious]

So do you mean you are with the guy who looks at other women until you sort yourself out enough to be with the guy who said he will wait?

Or do you mean you don't want to be with the guy who looks at other women until you have dealt with yourself?

I'm a little confused. :tongue:

But if you mean yo

So do you mean you are with the guy who looks at other women until you sort yourself out enough to be with the guy who said he will wait?

Or do you mean you don't want to be with the guy who looks at other women until you have dealt with yourself?

I'm a little confused. :tongue:

But if you mean you're not with the guy who looks at other women until you deal with yourself, then that's a sound attitude to have. It's no good being in a relationship if you're second guessing every glance and comment. You need to be able to trust and respect a partner implicitly or it just isn't going to work. If there's no mutual trust or respect, then what holds the relationship together?

u're not with the guy who looks at other women until you deal with yourself, then that's a sound attitude to have. It's no good being in a relationship if you're second guessing every glance and comment. You need to be able to trust and respect a partner implicitly or it just isn't going to work. If there's no mutual trust or respect, then what holds the relationship together?

I don't want to be with the guy that looks at other women until I have dealt with myself first. And he said that he'd wait. I don't deserve to be in any relationship how I am now..dont get me wrong we are still together until I sort out my issues. Even his sister thinks that im mentally ill. And his sister is his twin and she's dating my ex.

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

Try not to think of it in terms of you not deserving to be with anyone; in fact, that could be counter-productive. But, definitely think of it in terms of, "I need to take care of myself, first."

It's difficult to maintain a relationship when you're trying to build yourself up, but it can be done.

I hope his twin sister isn't insulting when she says that.

 

[Vergillicious]

Try not to think of it in terms of you not deserving to be with anyone; in fact, that could be counter-productive. But, definitely think of it in terms of, "I need to take care of myself, first."

It's difficult to maintain a relationship when you're trying to build yourself up, but it can be done.

I hope his twin sister isn't insulting when she says that.

No, she's at least I dont think so..she told him that im nice but watch out she's a Looney..but..maybe it is an insult but it is true. I mean with the way ive been acting and such, yeah I have to much emotional baggage and no one wants to deal with that unless they can handle the drama..but even they can't deal with it forever

 

[Loopy]

I don't want to be with the guy that looks at other women until I have dealt with myself first. And he said that he'd wait. I don't deserve to be in any relationship how I am now..dont get me wrong we are still together until I sort out my issues. Even his sister thinks that im mentally ill. And his sister is his twin and she's dating my ex.

She's dating your ex? Man, are things getting complicated for you. It's like one complicated, bad relationship after another. Which ex is she is dating? The one who talked to you only while drunk, or the one who kept saying he liked other girls? Or a totally different one that you haven't posted about on here. If she's with one of them, warn her. Those guys sounded like bad news from what you were typing about them.

No, she's at least I dont think so..she told him that im nice but watch out she's a Looney..but..maybe it is an insult but it is true. I mean with the way ive been acting and such, yeah I have to much emotional baggage and no one wants to deal with that unless they can handle the drama..but even they can't deal with it forever

She's looking out for her brother, that's natural, especially with twins, there's bound to be a strong bond. But, the looney comment was stepping over. If she thinks that, nothing you can do about it I suppose, but still, it's not nice to openly say that to someone.

Maybe you should just get out of the relationship if that's what she thinks? The last thing you need is more drama and another person bringing you down. If you don't have the support of the guy's sister, then it's not going to be easy.

You're always so self-deprecating, so maybe that's what's causing her to make odd comments. She's probably thinking if you're constantly putting yourself down and can't even like yourself, then what's the point being with her twin? Maybe she thinks you'll drag him down too? Only natural, I suppose. Family look out for their own and tend to make snap judgements about newcomers being in relationships with their siblings or children. Sometimes, that kind of distrust or even hatred never goes away.

And you're right, no one likes to deal with continuous drama or high tension emotions. People can try to help, but there is only so much to do if the person needing help is unwilling to change and stuck in the same rut. It becomes tiring after and while and sympathy wears thin. That's the reality of it. People say they'll stick around, but they're only human and there's only so much they can take before it brings them down too.

Seeing as you've left quite an extensive record on here about these failed relationships with weird guys, maybe you should go through them and try to pinpoint a pattern to all this.
Maybe that could help you figure out a way to change and move forward so that you're not constantly putting yourself down and saying you're not worthy. Otherwise you'll be going like this in circles for the rest of your life, dating loser after loser, then thinking you need to be alone again, and then falling for another loser right off the bat and repeating the same self deprecating thought patterns about unworthiness and not needing to be in a relationship. It's a destructive cycle that needs to be broken.