Hit me with your dad jokes/puns!

[AzureNight13]

So with how things are with the world… I’m sure most of us would like a little laugh… or groan (mind out of gutter! ). I’m a sucker for puns and dad jokes. So hit me with your best!

I want to keep this extremely positive. So please don’t post anything inappropriate. Last thing I want is the Admins and Mods to unleash their wrath from the heavens!

 

[ReaperHunter]

You can compare and contrast the way people sing with a venn diaphragm.

 

[Dark Prince]

Not a dad joke but an out of context from Vergil to his son (Nero):

 

[AzureNight13]

What does a gamer use to make bread?

Ninten-dough

 

[therogis]

I stole all the punctuation mark keys from a judge's keyboard.

I'm expecting a long sentence

 

[AzureNight13]

I broke up with my old console. Nothing was wrong with my Xbox, but it was time for a Switch.

 

[therogis]

Last week I called someone a watering hole, but I meant well.

Also:

So hit me with your best!

An apple a day keeps any doctor away if you throw it hard enough.

 

[AzureNight13]

I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

 

[Morgan]

One time I sent someone under a dozen dad jokes to make them laugh, but no pun in ten did.

 

[AzureNight13]

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

 

[LordOfDarkness]

I was watching the formula one on TV. The loud noises of cars whizzing past. Gave me a racing headache.

 

[Dark Prince]

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a "soap opera".

Depending what soap you're using .........if you're using indian goods then you're lucky :

 

[therogis]

Depending what soap you're using .........if you're using indian goods then you're lucky :

Definitely not a dad joke but behold: a soap opera, Finnish style

 

[AzureNight13]

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

 

[Meg]

I hate this thread so much. Also:

I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

[ef9dante_oSsshea]

Sometimes i just tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

Dunno why, guess that's just how i roll

 

[therogis]

Sometimes i just tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

Dunno why, guess that's just how i roll

You know why scuba divers roll backwards towards the ocean from the edge of the boat?

Duh, because if they rolled forward, they'd just end back in the boat

 

[AzureNight13]

Did you know that Sony is making a cat-friendly PlayStation?

It’s called the PSpspspsps

 

[berto]

Dad: Did I tell you the one about--
Child: No! Stop it, dad. You've never made a good joke in your life.
Dad: Well, I made you, didn't I?