Good or horrible parenting?

[Loopy]

This doesen't seem to me a man doing his parenting job, but a man acting out of fury (as much as his fury could be justified). This doesen't seem to me a thought out punishment, but an enraged, emotional, reaction.
Totally agreeing. It was more like the guy acted on impulse. It's honestly giving a bad name to fathers and making them out to be brutes who should never be trusted with their own children. No wonder fathers are getting banned from childcare, helping on school trips and taking part in parent toddler groups.The image is still that men are violent, even to their own children and that they can't be trusted with someone else's child in case they hurt or molest them. This father is not helping that image by being so savage.

Now, I can agree that maybe the girl deserved a punishment, and that nowadays parents can be too soft, but there are better punishments than physical pain. Like not letting the girl go out with her friends for a period of time, or deny her the use of her PC, or something like that. I can even agree to a little spanking, but NOT TO WHIPPING, because it causes just too much pain. When I misbehaved, my father used to slap me, but he never did it with too much strength. The amount of pain was just symbolical. Using a belt causes a lot more of pain, which is unnecessary. Lessons could be taught differently.

Or here's a good thought, maybe the parents should monitor what their child does on the internet? Maybe buy some software that blocks sites or filters what the child can see or sites they can go on.It's better than beating the child up.

 

[BLACKSWIPE]

This man infuriates me so much that I feel the need to post, yet again...

If I ever had the pleasure of meeting this man, I would beat his ass with a thick VCR cable. His ass would litteraly be so badily damaged that it would eventually peel off.

I'm not normally for violence, but lets see how he likes it.

I wouldn't even treat my animals like this.

 

[Terrutas]

I don't think I'm capable of doing to this to any sort of living being.

No one deserves any treatment of this sort, it's terrible and only furthers the damage made by their mistakes.

I think the best way to help or teach a lesson is to provide insight, I don't see how beating someone with a cable tells them exactly what they've done wrong other than that they've...done wrong.

This is inhuman..I can't even watch this for more than 5 seconds.

 

[Terrutas]

I'm not a parent but i was a child, & i got spanked when i did something wrong.
It never made me fear my mom or father, but it taught me to listen & respect what i was told.

I'm not saying that all children are like this but when parents treat their children like adults then they act like adults.

There is a huge difference between being whipped and being spanked.
Not that you would know.

 

[Loopy]

This sort of thing makes me wonder why these people have children if the result is beating a child. A child does not ask to be born into the world, and certainly not to be a punch bag for their parents when they get frustrated.

Adults say 'I want a baby', but do they also want, and think about, raising a toddler, a child, a teenager? Sometimes I wonder how much thought is put into such an important deciscion like bringing a life into the world who will grow up to be their own person. They just see a cute baby and think it will be fun, with no thought to how hard it can be to raise a teenager who will by nature want to test boundaries and act out.

Adults should think before they have children. I see too many becoming parents via contraceptive failure, pressure from parents for grandchildren, wanting something to give unconditional love to the parent, or to complete the next stage of life. It just leads to miserable children and adults because the adults didn't have a clue what they were in for and take it out on the children.

Either that or adults who get tricked by the baby product adverts showing happy, cute babies who would never cry all through the night, or have special needs ...when I hear a couple say they want a baby to bring them closer together, all I can think is more fool them. A child is a big test of a relationship. If there are any cracks, a baby makes them bigger and can cause the relatioship to break apart and then the adult takes it out on the child.

No wonder there are so many abused or killed babies and children....

 

[LysseC]

If talking, stopping them from seeing their friends, no tv for a week or whatever, if that worked so well then we wouldn't have as many children around being unruly & disrespectful as we do today.
No tv, all that seems to do is teach children to make do without it.

I don't think that the problem is not violent punishments. The real problem with soft parents is that they don't punish at all. I know many school teachers, and I always hear them say that parents actually defend their children when the teacher tells them their son/daughter did something wrong at school. They justify them, instead of punishing/scolding them. By doing this, they implicitly tell them that they could do what they want.

And, even if sometimes a little spanking can be justified (as a quick, understandable punishment), there is never a justification for whipping, because this simply causes too much pain. That's the big difference between spanking and whipping.

And I totally agree with Terrutas when he says that the most important thing is that a punishment, whatever it is, must be followed by reasoning and explanation of what the child did wrong, and why it is wrong. If no explanation is given, the only reasona child has for not doing certain things is the fear of being punished. Once this fear recedes (because, for example, the child has grown and is now independent from his parents), the risk is that there is no reason left for him to refrain from bad behaviour.

Punishment, in general, should be the last resort. More important and effective, even if more subtle, means to educate a child is by setting a good example, and in such a way communicate values. Then, when a child does something wrong, a punishment is surely in order

 

[Loopy]

I don't think that the problem is not violent punishments. The real problem with soft parents is that they don't punish at all. I know many school teachers, and I always hear them say that parents actually defend their children when the teacher tells them their son/daughter did something wrong at school. They justify them, instead of punishing/scolding them. By doing this, they implicitly tell them that they could do what they want.
I have issues with parents who make excuses for their child's bad behaviour, especially when it is very clear that their child is in the wrong. I've seen parents deny that their child was a bully, that their child stole or murdered. Are they really so delusional? Take responsibility for the life you have made, look after it and love it; and if you hurt your children or rsied them badly, then go get sterilised (man or woman) to stop any more children being born to inadequate parents.

The thing is, society doesn't make time for children anymore. Both parents have to work to keep up with house payments. Then when parents are home, they are too tired from work to be with their children, or so stressed that they take their anger from work out on the children. It's a losing situation however you slice it.
Children grow up without parents spending enough time with them, and parents are trapped at work to pay for the children they wanted, but can't spend time with.
There are just too many latch key children who have to look after themselves at younger and younger ages because parents are made to have long working hours just to pay for basics. I think it's just becoming too expensive to have a child. I hear childcare alone takes a big portion of parent's wages.

And, even if sometimes a little spanking can be justified (as a quick, understandable punishment), there is never a justification for whipping, because this simply causes too much pain. That's the big difference between spanking and whipping.Sure, a small spank usually gets the message across. But always explain to the child why the spanking was given. Then give the child time to think about it. And always let the child know after that the child is loved and that they were spanked for a reason, not because their parents hate them.

And I totally agree with Loopy when she says that the most important thing is that a punishment, whatever it is, must be followed by reasoning and explanation of what the child did wrong, and why it is wrong. If no explanation is given, the only reasona child has for not doing certain things is the fear of being punished. Once this fear recedes (because, for example, the child has grown and is now independent from his parents), the risk is that there is no reason left for him to refrain from bad behaviour.
No point in spanking or punishing a chid if they have no concept of what they have done wrong. If you don't explain, then the child will just think their parent likes to hit them for no reason.

Punishment, in general, should be the last resort. More important and effective, even if more subtle, means to educate a child is by setting a good example, and in such a way communicate values. Then, when a child does something wrong, a punishment is surely in order

Another thing that worries me is if parents set the example of hitting children too hard and being too violent, then those children will do the same when they have children. It's perpetuating misery to the next generation.

 

[LysseC]

The thing is, society doesn't make time for children anymore.

Yes, that's another great problem. Once education of the offsping was a woman's duty, but that was possible because women didn't have to work. Now that women are not relegated in the house, this generates a problem for child raising.

Another thing that worries me is if parents set the example of hitting children too hard and being too violent, then those children will do the same when they have children. It's perpetuating misery to the next generation.

And you're totally right in saying that violence is more likely to bring about violence than education. Moreso if it not accompained by explanation of what the child did wrong.