Don't Have A Title Yet

[Danteizbadazz]

this is a STORY not a fan fic that me and another member on these forums are going to try and turn into a book and here is the prolouge.

Prolouge

Spike jumped into the air dodging the attack from the two Sin Scissors. He pulled out his guns and fired at one of the monsters. "A little help would be nice cousin." Spike said to his cousin Victor who was just standing there doing nothing. Spike ducked and threw his guns into the air and grabbed his sword and jumped forward slicing threw the second monster. Spike jumped back and caught his guns and put them in their holsters. Spike walked over to his cousin. He was almost to his cousins side when out of no where Victor drew out one of his guns and shot it right at Spikes head. Spike sidestepped so it wouldn't return him to hell and he had to fight his way back out but he didn't side step far enough and the bullet hit him in the head still but not where it was intended but it still did some damage. Spike started to stumble and everything was blurry. Before Spike fainted he heard the words "Go back to hell and stay there." Victor said and walked off leaving Spike laying past out in the middle of the street.

End of Flashback

Back in the present time Spike was sitting behind a desk in a building that he had broken into a week ago and made it his home. He couldn't stop remembering that flashback it happened every day for the past five years. He wondered why would his cousin Victor want him to go back to hell that had grown together and always fought together and protect each other. There was the thought of the person not being his real cousin just a clone or shadow but Spike wouldn't be leave it. The outside in the streets came the sick evil laughing of some Scissors all kinds then there were roars from another monster and lots of other sounds.

*A building crumbles and falls outside across the street of where Spike was.*

Spike jumped up out of his chair and grabbed his trench coat and put it on. "Is there every a day where I don't have to kill someone or something."Spike said to himself. Spike kicked the door open and saw a dozen Scissors outside waiting for him. There were five Death Scissors and seven Sin Scissors. "Well lets get it on."Spike said to himself before jumping into the air but then returning to the ground without doing anything. "What the fuk are you doing here! And boy do you have some nerve coming near me I went away to stay away from you!" Spike said in a very mean voice directed to Victor who was standing about 50 feet away from him.

complements and rep would be nice and my partner is going to write chapter 1 i think

 

[Force_Edge]

Well... you're going to try to turn this into a book, so I'll be helping here as much as I can.

First of all, you need more descriptions. Describe the scene more, a bit more on the surrounding, enemies, characters, and whatever's going on. Proper paragraphs, punctuation is nice too, and so is stylistic writing (structuring sentences and their contents neatly). Also, this wasn't a prologue, as a prologue tells of before the story. This would be considered a chapter. And, chapter or prologu, it is very, very short. Too short.

Second of all, the story IS a fanfiction. Yo're including Sin Scissors in the story, which are enemies from Devil May Cry. And the story itself, I must admit, is very, very similar to Devil May Cry's. To the point of sounding very unoriginal, actually.

Other than that, I'd stay the story does have some potential, but as a fanfic. Work more on the characters; good characters more often than not build a good novel, even if the story isn't great itself. Try to read a few of your favorite books and see how those authors write, and try to copy that style when writing fanfics until you find your own style, and write something of your own then (serious work that is). You ca always write anything for fun, because it's supposed to be fun! =)

 

[Danteizbadazz]

well i am a very new person to writting and english isnt my fav subject and my partner is suppost to also be helping me

 

[hamshanks]

im sorry about this man, i was real busy on the weekend and i finally got word working again, so i can contribute as much as possible. one thing tho, victor doesnt use guns, just a sword.

once again, im so sorry, im gonna write my part of the prologue right now (it just started working)

Prologue - Victor

Victor stood atop a spire of the headquarters of Apocalypse's Horsemen, an orginization of demons content on destroying the world and rebuilding it in their image.

Victor thought he had wiped out this orginization years ago, but obviously he was wrong.

As Victor searched for an easy way in so that he didnt have to fend off hundreds of demons at once, he heard something.

"Victor, It's been a long time."

Victor turned around to see his cousin, Spike, standing there.

"It's been a week," said Victor, "are you alright man?"

"I'm better than alright. I'm more powerful than you could imagine, and there's only one thing stopping me from gaining absolute power." He replied

"What's th... *cough*" Victor was interupted by something choking him, that thing was Spike. "Spike... what are... you doing!?"

Spike choked him until he had lost all conciousness and threw him off the spire. Victor hit the ground hard.

When Victor started to regain conciousness he faintly heard footsteps, and Spike say, "Welcome to my hell..." Victor blacked out again.

5 years Later

Victor was awakened by the loud sound of metal scraping on asphalt. He stood up and looked out the window, an Oragurerra was dragging an 18 wheeler oil truck down the street towards Victors apartment.

The Orangurerra stopped and looked Victor right in the eye, then threw the truck. the truck hit into the building causing a huge explosion and most of the building to collapse.

The Orangurerra started laughing until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Victor jumped from his 6th story apartment building towards the Orangurerra with his sword, Merciless, in hand.

In midair Victor starting slashing at his enemy, jumped off its head and landed behind it.

Victor sheathed his sword and watched as his enemy fell into tiny little pieces.

"Hmm..." said Victor, "I was expecting something a little less... pathetic."

All of a sudden he felt an evil force from somewhere behind him, he turned to look. "You," he said to Spike, who was standing on top of the ruins of an old lumber mill, "Not this time, I have the upper hand, I'm not a weakling like you."

On that note, Victor ran towards Spike, Merciless in hand.

But Something wasn't right with Spike, something that Victor had never felt before around him... pure evil.

 

[Force_Edge]

well i am a very new person to writting and english isnt my fav subject and my partner is suppost to also be helping me

If you're new to writing then you shouldn't attempt at writing a book just yet. You'll need practise, trust me. As for english not being your favorite subject, that's not an issue because you write in English, so you'll just have to try as good as you can. If you don't like it, don't write.

I kind of get the feeling you think my last post was an attack. It wasn't. I gave you CC =) rather than giving me excuses, why not take my advice and try to improve your writing skills? Constructive Criticism is going to help your "baby" grow more than any "hey, great fic so awesome I wanna read more!!!" will.

 

[Danteizbadazz]

ok well i love victors prolouge and all and now we can start with the first chapter i'll try and write it or me and ham can write it together prolly together since im still a little new to this writing thing

 

[hamshanks]

yeah man, go on msn, we can start sharing ideas

 

[hamshanks]

ps, originally the first chapter that we wrote was supposed to be stuck together, victors part and spikes part in one (i think), but i was busy, and when i wasnt i ****** up and forgot to write. so that's why they're so short

 

[Baby Devil]

Im here I believe your waiting for a professional to help

 

[Danteizbadazz]

maybe...............

 

[Angel]

Some very good stuff coming through here - it's also very hard to write out any type of story on a forum because the editing facilities are somewhat limited, so kudos to you.

May I also suggest that as well as the excellent advice already posted by Force_Edge that you allow yourself plenty of time to get inspiration too - whenever I write, I always do something beforehand to spark my imagination be it play a game, watch a film, read a book or poem, listen to music - whatever grabs you. Keep a pen and paper nearby because the best ideas always turn up at the most inappropriate moments like when you're travelling or talking on the phone or something and there is nothing worse than having an excellent idea and then losing it because you couldn't get it down on paper fast enough to recall it later.

Lastly, writing is an excellent way to boost and maintain your IQ, so even if English isn't your favourite subject, the more you practice at it and work at it, the more you'll find yourself concentrating better, handling it better and you'll get a buzz just from the achievement of completing a chapter or discovering the synopsis for your next one. If you are worried about your English not being up to scratch, get someone to proof read your work - that is, to read it over and correct any grammatical or spelling errors that may have occurred. Ok, ramble over - and keep up the good work!

 

[hamshanks]

thanks!

 

[Baby Devil]

Clyde was in a abandon house. He was doing push-ups as the bright lights shone on his brown skin."20, 21,22,23..."as he counted in agonizing pain. Clyde got up and thought about something as he put his hand on his goatee.

"I remeber I that book I checked out at the library on 96th street...The one that talked about the history of sparda" Clyde said.

He walked over to his huge bookshelf and rummaged through all the books until he found the one that explained the history of sparda."Finally I found it!"he said as he walked over to a table and sat on it with his legs crossed.He read a passage from the book.

"Sparda was a demon warrior that sealed of the demon world from the human world and he eventually got hisself stuck inside of the demon world."

Clyde nodded his head and turned the pages in interest and saw sparda fighting some arch angels on one page."Hmm.. I wonder if i'm some kin to sparda cuz I got a weird sword and sometimes I don't feel human!"he reached towards a holster that hung on the wall and pulled out his sword."I guess this will remain a mystery huh?"

"Well I got all the info I needed so I guess I'll be tacking this book back!"he said grabbing a silver .357 magnum out his table. Clyde grabbed his black jean jacket and headed outside to his motorcycle. He put the book in his jacket as he put his sword around his shoulder.He then started the bike and took off on the expressway. Clyde sped down the expressway and didn't see any cars.

"I wonder what happened to everyone?"I muttered.

He turned his head and saw two arch angels hovering towards him with giant swords that radiated light. Clyde eyes Widened" Those demons fought sparda!" The angels floated on each side of his bike. Clyde was still trying to maintain his speed. One of the arch angels swung the sword towards clyde's head but quickly Clyde leaned his back on the seat and ducked as the sword barely missed his face.

He swung the sword and cut off the angels wings. The angel paused and broke apart like glass.Clyde turned his head to the other arch angel that was on his right side of the bike.

"Your next, Partner!"Clyde said.

Clyde stood on the seat and had a sword fight with the angel. With every single hit they hit each others swords. The arch angel yelled and screamed like a women being frighten of a mouse. Clyde pulled out his magnum and pointed at the angels face.

"Im tired of you!...BOOM!!YOUR DEAD!"Clyde said as he shot the angel in the head.

For a minute clyde didn't realize he was standing on top of the bike until until he ran off the expressway and onto the dark streets. Clyde got up in pain shaking his long braided hair "Damn that hurts!" He looked up and saw his bike ready to fall on top of him. He held out his hands and caught the bike.

"Whoa..I didn't know I could do that! I feel like SUPERMAN!!!!"he said in a excited voice.

He threw down the motorcycle. Luckily he had the book in his jacket.He put his gun and sword away. He then looked up at the street sign.

"I guess I'm here then...this is 96th street he said running towards the library.


(I was going to make a part when he goes to a club and as we know...ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!!)

 

[Danteizbadazz]

Chapter 1: Unfinished busniess

Spike was looking at his cousin Victor. He drew out his sword and was ready to fight Victor. With a snap of Victors fingers all the monsters dissapeared and Spike was on the ground.

"Ok I see how it is cousin you are a cheater and a quick one."

Spike said as he kicked his cousin in the chest making him fly off of him. Spike got to his feet and grabbed his sword and charged Victor sword ready. Victor drew out his sword and swung it at Spike and missed Spike had ducked under the sword and jumped forward striking Victor in the chest. Victor dropped his sword and grabbed onto Spikes with both hands and pulled it right out of his chest and kicked Spike in the chest and sent him flying. Spike went flying threw the air and came to an almost complete stop when he hit something and knocked it down and knocked himself onto the ground also a few feet from the thing he had hit. It was another person that was wearing a black jean jacket.

"I'm sorry for knocking you down but if i may ask what are you doing in a deserted town?"

Spike asked the person.

"Well First off my name is Clyde and this isn't a deserted town because i'm on my way to return a book to the libary that i got about Sparda."

Clyde had said as he had gotten to his feet and looked over at Spike. Mean while Victor was still where the battle had started. Victor still had Spikes sword in his hands and he just threw it up into the air and teleported to where Spike was. Spike was on the ground still when he saw his sword appear above him and come down at him.

"O ****!"

Spike said as the sword was almost ontop of him now he rolled out of the way and got up to his feet and grabbed the sword and threw it quickly infront of him but it didn't do anything Victor had caught the sowrd in mid air. Victor grabbed the sword by its handle and threw it back at Spike but Spike didn't catch it. The impact of the sword had hitten him right in the center of his chest and threw him back a few feet. Spike went to grab the sword and pull it out of himself when Victor appeared infront of him and pushed it in even farther into Spikes chest.

"Hopefully this will finish you off for once and for all."

Victor said as he stabbed Spike with his own sword now leaving Spikes sword still in his chest. Spike dropped to his knees and his vision started to blur and he was bleeding really badly.

"This is not the end I will win in the end and you will not kill me I will come back and kill you cousin you can count on it."

Spike said before falling to the ground passed out but looking as he was dead because when he fell to the ground he had shoven his whole sword threw his body and he just laid there limp. Victor just walked off away with his sword in his hand and as he passed Clyde he said.

"Don't worrie I was just taking care of some family problems."

Victor said to Clyde before vanashing.

 

[Dante's_wife]

Ok I'm here and ready to start... Bro

 

[Baby Devil]

Im making one when clyde goes to a club

 

[d4rkn1ght]

this is a STORY not a fan fic that me and another member on these forums are going to try and turn into a book and here is the prolouge.

Prolouge

Spike jumped into the air dodging the attack from the two Sin Scissors. He pulled out his guns and fired at one of the monsters. "A little help would be nice cousin." Spike said to his cousin Victor who was just standing there doing nothing. Spike ducked and threw his guns into the air and grabbed his sword and jumped forward slicing threw the second monster. Spike jumped back and caught his guns and put them in their holsters. Spike walked over to his cousin. He was almost to his cousins side when out of no where Victor drew out one of his guns and shot it right at Spikes head. Spike sidestepped so it wouldn't return him to hell and he had to fight his way back out but he didn't side step far enough and the bullet hit him in the head still but not where it was intended but it still did some damage. Spike started to stumble and everything was blurry. Before Spike fainted he heard the words "Go back to hell and stay there." Victor said and walked off leaving Spike laying past out in the middle of the street.

End of Flashback

Back in the present time Spike was sitting behind a desk in a building that he had broken into a week ago and made it his home. He couldn't stop remembering that flashback it happened every day for the past five years. He wondered why would his cousin Victor want him to go back to hell that had grown together and always fought together and protect each other. There was the thought of the person not being his real cousin just a clone or shadow but Spike wouldn't be leave it. The outside in the streets came the sick evil laughing of some Scissors all kinds then there were roars from another monster and lots of other sounds.

*A building crumbles and falls outside across the street of where Spike was.*

Spike jumped up out of his chair and grabbed his trench coat and put it on. "Is there every a day where I don't have to kill someone or something."Spike said to himself. Spike kicked the door open and saw a dozen Scissors outside waiting for him. There were five Death Scissors and seven Sin Scissors. "Well lets get it on."Spike said to himself before jumping into the air but then returning to the ground without doing anything. "What the fuk are you doing here! And boy do you have some nerve coming near me I went away to stay away from you!" Spike said in a very mean voice directed to Victor who was standing about 50 feet away from him.

complements and rep would be nice and my partner is going to write chapter 1 i think

Crazy and awsome story.........that what i like to read........a crazy story ^_^

 

[Danteizbadazz]

hey baby devil buddy this sint a rp its a fan fic so u can't go into a club unless its going to have something to do with Spike and everything Clyde had just seen

 

[Baby Devil]

Well bring spike in the club with clyde

 

[Dante's_wife]

I"ll post latter today after school ok?