LordOfDarkness
The Dark Avenger © †
Short story ~Dante's Dark Side~
Some serious and funny moments.
Dante was watching TV at 1 in the morning with nothing but his shorts on, drooling at some hot chick in a movie.
"I'll probably just watch one more show, then hit the hay" Dante said to himself, but at that moment the phone rang.
"Hello, Devil May Cry; your friendly neighborhood Dante speaking, how may I help?" Dante asked.
There was a short silence for a few seconds, as to which came Nero's cowardly voice.
"Ah, er, hey Dante. I'm kind of having some trouble getting to sleep. I think there's like this huge spider in my room, and he won't go away" Nero said.
"Well just squash it or something" Dante replied.
"Erm, it's not that easy. Here, I'll put him on" Nero said, handing Phantom the phone.
"Hello, who is this? Is this thing on? I WILL CRUSH YOU PUNY LITTLE MAN!!!!" Phantom bellowed down the phone.
"Phantom? Put Nero back on" Dante said, confused.
"Hey, so can I come over? Please? I'll be real good and everything" Nero asked.
"Ah, sure" Dante replied, as to which he hung up.
Taking some popcorn, Dante awaited the next show on TV. But a few moments into the show, and the phone rang again.
"Argh, what now? The phone has rung more times than it did when Vergil gave my number to a bunch of gays at a bar" Dante said, answering the phone to hear the voice of his beloved brother.
"Speaking of which" he said to himself.
"Hey bro, I need something from you. It's really urgent, and it can't wait" Vergil said hastily.
"Can't you just go to someone else for that?" Dante asked curiously.
"No, it's nothing like that. I just need to head over to see you for a few minutes, we need to discuss something important happening on Mallet Island" Vergil informed Dante.
"Okay, alright. See you in a bit. Later" said Dante.
"Later" Vergil replied.
The show had begun, and Dante had started to bite one piece of popcorn when there was a knock on the door.
"Damn it!" Dante said, opening the door forcefully to greet Nero.
Nero stood at the door, hair all wet from the rain. Wearing his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pyjamas, and some Devil May Cry slippers.
"Oh, nice slippers. I've got a pair also, but you should see them. They're awesome! It's of Lady and Trish right, and well Trish has her hand... Never mind" Dante said, as he noticed Nero wasn't paying attention.
"Where can I sleep?" Nero said, looking around the shop.
"Well, there are some covers there. And I'll get you two pillows, you can sleep right over next to the fire" Dante said.
"Aw, how thoughtful. So I don't get cold" Nero said, smiling.
"No" Dante replied, "Merely so I can roast your head in the middle of the night for being such a pain in my ass" he added, as to which Nero's face sunk.
"I'm kidding" said Dante, patting Nero on the shoulder.
Nero made himself comfortable, as Dante got the pillows for him.
At that time, Vergil let himself into the shop and sat himself down on the couch.
"Dude, you're in my spot" Dante said, gesturing for Vergil to move somewhere else.
"My bad" Vergil said, as he seated himself.
"Whatever you have to tell me, can wait till after the show" Dante made clear, as to which all three watched the TV.
Half way through the show, a loud banging noise was heard from outside. Vergil was first to investigate the scene, as to which he brought Dante and Nero outside also.
"I just saw this figure vanish into thin air, right after it attacked Lady" Vergil said, bringing her injured body inside to rest.
"What was she doing outside in the first place?" Nero questioned.
"I don't know, but at least she won't interrupt any more of the show" Dante replied, shoving more popcorn in his mouth.
"Is this your favourite show? All it's about is a bunch of guys performing crazy stunts" Nero said, as to which Dante glared at Nero.
"You better not dislike this show! Oh my God, are they really gonna jump that in a freaking wheelchair? Hilarious" Dante said, mainly to himself.
At that point the phone rang for the third time that night, as to which a rather ****ed off Dante answered.
"Hello, Devil May Cry, what?" Dante said, through gritted teeth.
"Is Lady with you?" Trish asked, worriedly.
"Yes, now go away" Dante replied, putting the phone down.
"That was a bit harsh don't you think?" Vergil asked his brother, who stood up and shook popcorn off from him.
"Why can't I just watch one damn show without being bothered by every single person?" Dante said back.
Then the pizza man arrived.
"This is Devil May Cry right? A pizza for a Mr. Dante Sparda" the man said.
"About time" Dante said, paying the man and then closing the door on the guy's face.
"If one more thing goes wrong tonight, I swear I'm gonna scream so loud I'll wake up all of Hell" Dante stated, sitting back down and going to bite his pizza.
"Wait a God damn minute" he said, observing the pizza.
"I...Said...No...Anchovies!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Dante bellowed out, as to which the front of his shop collapsed to reveal hundreds of demons standing outside.
"That's it, I'm going to bed" Dante said.
The End.
Some serious and funny moments.
Dante was watching TV at 1 in the morning with nothing but his shorts on, drooling at some hot chick in a movie.
"I'll probably just watch one more show, then hit the hay" Dante said to himself, but at that moment the phone rang.
"Hello, Devil May Cry; your friendly neighborhood Dante speaking, how may I help?" Dante asked.
There was a short silence for a few seconds, as to which came Nero's cowardly voice.
"Ah, er, hey Dante. I'm kind of having some trouble getting to sleep. I think there's like this huge spider in my room, and he won't go away" Nero said.
"Well just squash it or something" Dante replied.
"Erm, it's not that easy. Here, I'll put him on" Nero said, handing Phantom the phone.
"Hello, who is this? Is this thing on? I WILL CRUSH YOU PUNY LITTLE MAN!!!!" Phantom bellowed down the phone.
"Phantom? Put Nero back on" Dante said, confused.
"Hey, so can I come over? Please? I'll be real good and everything" Nero asked.
"Ah, sure" Dante replied, as to which he hung up.
Taking some popcorn, Dante awaited the next show on TV. But a few moments into the show, and the phone rang again.
"Argh, what now? The phone has rung more times than it did when Vergil gave my number to a bunch of gays at a bar" Dante said, answering the phone to hear the voice of his beloved brother.
"Speaking of which" he said to himself.
"Hey bro, I need something from you. It's really urgent, and it can't wait" Vergil said hastily.
"Can't you just go to someone else for that?" Dante asked curiously.
"No, it's nothing like that. I just need to head over to see you for a few minutes, we need to discuss something important happening on Mallet Island" Vergil informed Dante.
"Okay, alright. See you in a bit. Later" said Dante.
"Later" Vergil replied.
The show had begun, and Dante had started to bite one piece of popcorn when there was a knock on the door.
"Damn it!" Dante said, opening the door forcefully to greet Nero.
Nero stood at the door, hair all wet from the rain. Wearing his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pyjamas, and some Devil May Cry slippers.
"Oh, nice slippers. I've got a pair also, but you should see them. They're awesome! It's of Lady and Trish right, and well Trish has her hand... Never mind" Dante said, as he noticed Nero wasn't paying attention.
"Where can I sleep?" Nero said, looking around the shop.
"Well, there are some covers there. And I'll get you two pillows, you can sleep right over next to the fire" Dante said.
"Aw, how thoughtful. So I don't get cold" Nero said, smiling.
"No" Dante replied, "Merely so I can roast your head in the middle of the night for being such a pain in my ass" he added, as to which Nero's face sunk.
"I'm kidding" said Dante, patting Nero on the shoulder.
Nero made himself comfortable, as Dante got the pillows for him.
At that time, Vergil let himself into the shop and sat himself down on the couch.
"Dude, you're in my spot" Dante said, gesturing for Vergil to move somewhere else.
"My bad" Vergil said, as he seated himself.
"Whatever you have to tell me, can wait till after the show" Dante made clear, as to which all three watched the TV.
Half way through the show, a loud banging noise was heard from outside. Vergil was first to investigate the scene, as to which he brought Dante and Nero outside also.
"I just saw this figure vanish into thin air, right after it attacked Lady" Vergil said, bringing her injured body inside to rest.
"What was she doing outside in the first place?" Nero questioned.
"I don't know, but at least she won't interrupt any more of the show" Dante replied, shoving more popcorn in his mouth.
"Is this your favourite show? All it's about is a bunch of guys performing crazy stunts" Nero said, as to which Dante glared at Nero.
"You better not dislike this show! Oh my God, are they really gonna jump that in a freaking wheelchair? Hilarious" Dante said, mainly to himself.
At that point the phone rang for the third time that night, as to which a rather ****ed off Dante answered.
"Hello, Devil May Cry, what?" Dante said, through gritted teeth.
"Is Lady with you?" Trish asked, worriedly.
"Yes, now go away" Dante replied, putting the phone down.
"That was a bit harsh don't you think?" Vergil asked his brother, who stood up and shook popcorn off from him.
"Why can't I just watch one damn show without being bothered by every single person?" Dante said back.
Then the pizza man arrived.
"This is Devil May Cry right? A pizza for a Mr. Dante Sparda" the man said.
"About time" Dante said, paying the man and then closing the door on the guy's face.
"If one more thing goes wrong tonight, I swear I'm gonna scream so loud I'll wake up all of Hell" Dante stated, sitting back down and going to bite his pizza.
"Wait a God damn minute" he said, observing the pizza.
"I...Said...No...Anchovies!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Dante bellowed out, as to which the front of his shop collapsed to reveal hundreds of demons standing outside.
"That's it, I'm going to bed" Dante said.
The End.
