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At Heart's End: Kingdom Hearts fanfic

DreadnoughtDT

God of Hyperdeath
Premium
Supporter 2014
At Heart's End
By
Storm Silves
Based off of the universe of Kingdom Hearts. I own no material from this universe. Those rights go to Disney and Square-Enix.


Chapter 1

Tycan sighed. "I don't want to get up..." He muttered, looking at the clock in his room. It was nearly noon and he still didn't feel like getting out of his bed, but the incessant knocking at his door told him otherwise. He got out of bed, pulled on a pair of shorts, pushed the black hair out of his eyes and opened the door.

"Tycan!" A woman said, throwing her arms around him. She was tall, with blond hair and green eyes.

"Hi, Rulue." Tycan said, quickly brushing his hair with his hand. "What's up?"

"Arcus wants you to come to the forest center." Rulue said with a smirk. "He said to bring your toy sword."

Tycan looked at the old wooden sword he made years ago, when he was ten. The sword was eight years old, but it was still functional. Tycan picked it up and swung it once for emphasis. "No problem." He said, smiling. This was the third duel Tycan had had with Arcus in a week. The first two times he was beaten, but this time would be different. He felt it.

"You said 'no problem' the first two times, and look what happened." Rulue said. "What's to say he won't make the record 3 to zip?"

"Me!" Tycan said confidently, striking a mock hero pose. He squeezed the heart-shaped birthmark on his shoulder. He had made a habit out of squeezing it when he got into a stressful situation. Why, he had no clue. He just did. Rulue noticed that and looked at Tycan's shoulder.

"That birthmark is so weird..." She muttered. "I don't care how many times I look at it, it never gets old. How did you get it, anyway?"

"I was born with it. That's generally what birthmark means." Tycan said sarcastically, walking out of his house with Rulue in tow. He looked around his town. It was sufficiently modern, with cars, electricity, the works. Just outside of town was a large forest, and in the middle of it was a giant tree riddled with glow in the dark fungus. That's the forest center, and it's where Tycan and Arcus have their duels. He twirled his sword around in his hand, accidentally hitting Rulue.

"Hey! Give me splinters and I'll turn your BONES into splinters!" She said with her eyes narrowed.

Tycan chuckled. "Right, right. Sorry." He said, walking towards the forest.

--

Arcus sighed, flicking his light blond hair so that it covered his eyes. He liked it like that. No reason why, he just did. He twirled around his wooden sword. He had carved it himself, just like Tycus, but he liked to think he did the better job. He didn't though. It had knotholes in it and bugs had gotten to it once or twice, but it still worked. He sighed again as he sat on the top of the tree, waiting for Tycan. Just as he was about to call the match a default and walk away, Tycan walked into the forest center. Arcus jumped down in front of him, smirking confidently and holding his sword over his shoulder. "Thought you'd chickened out." He said. "Guess not."

"I never back down from you, Arcus." Tycan said, and pointed his sword at Arcus. "Ready to fight?"

"Of course." Arcus said, shrugging. He turned away, then ran at Tycan with his sword outstretched. Tycan moved out of the way, then slashed at Arcus' legs. Arcus jumped over the slash and hit Tycan in the back of the neck with the hilt of his sword. Tycan grabbed at his neck and slashed at Arcus' chest, but he was too late and Arcus jumped away, then came back and hit Tycan's shoulder. Tycan growled and slashed again, and again missed, and again was hit in the opposite shoulder. He dropped his sword in forfeit.

"I win again." Arcus said triumphantly, turning away. Tycan smirked and grabbed Arcus' ankle, then dragged him away to hit the dirt face first. "Nope. I win." Tycan said, standing up.

Arcus coughed and spat a piece of dirt out of his mouth. "How about we call it a draw?" He said weakly.

Tycan thought about that for a moment. "Hm... Nah." He said, picking up Arcus and propping him against a tree. He put his sword to Arcus' throat. "Say it. I win."

"You win..." Arcus muttered.

"I didn't hear you." Tycan said.

"You win!" Arcus shouted.

"That's better." Tycan said, putting his sword on his belt. "Guess the record's 2 to 1." He said confidently.

"Guess so..." Arcus muttered, getting up and placing his own sword on his belt. "So, now what?" He asked.

"I have no clue." Tycan admitted. "I guess we could just go-" He was cut off by screaming in the direction of his town. "Well, that doesn't sound good." He said, furrowing his brow. "What's going on?"

"Whatever it is, it's not good." Arcus said. "And it sounds like wooden swords won't do much good, either." He added, pulling out a switchblade.

"Where'd you get that?" Tycan asked.

"Found it." Arcus said, shrugging. The group ran to the town to see everyone being attacked by shadowy creatures. Several of them carried the same symbol that Tycan's birthmark formed.

"That's so weird..." Tycan said, his jaw dropped. Arcus said nothing, he just looked back from Tycan to the creatures, then back to Tycan. After a moment, he charged forward, slashing at the creatures. Tycan wanted to follow him, but Rulue held him back. He could only watch as his friend was overwhelmed, and then just disappeared in a burst of light. He opened his mouth to say something when Rulue screamed. He turned around to see the same thing happen to her. He screamed in rage and ran at the shadow creature, a tall one with a skull-like face and a sword in one hand with a heart shaped hole in it's chest. It picked Tycan up by his collar and growled in his face, then threw him away. He screamed again and was met with the same result. The creature hadn't killed him yet, oddly enough. Tycan looked it in the eye. "Where are my friends?" He said darkly. The creature processed the words for a moment, then shrugged. Tycan growled. "Where. Are. My. Friends?!" He said darkly.

The creature sighed. "Gone." It said. But it didn't really say it. Rather, the word seemed to flash in Tycan's head.

"But why?" Tycan asked.

"For our survival." The creature said simply, then disappeared. Tycan looked back at his village. He was the only one left. Everyone else was dead.



Author's Note: So, how do you want the story to go from here? Suggestions, comments, concrit, go ahead and post it. I've got the main story ready in my head, but got any suggestions and I'll see what I can do. ^_^
 

The crazy demon

Metal Gear Vindicare.
Finally, a new fics to this plac.

I would like to give you a few suggestions about where to take the history, but first i would like to see more of the main history
 

Meg

Well-known Member
Moderator
You blew through that really fast. More detail is always nice. Are Tycan and Arcus friends? You didn't make it sound like they were. Like when Tycan was making Arcus say he won. I didn't get friendly haha from that, but I figure that's what you were getting at. Also, why'd Arcus shrug when Tycan asked if he was ready? Didn't he want to duel? Isn't that why he jumped down in front of him all ready to go? I felt a lot of the dialogue was awkward actually.

I also thought saying that the town had cars and the works was unnecessary. Just say cars went by, or something like that. Overall I think you're going way to fast. We don't even get a sense of who these people are and now two are dead. Slow it down and give more info. Its clear at the end of the chapter that Tycan is someone special, but we got no indication of that before besides his weird birthmark. Even that I thought you made to obvious that its special. Saying the creatures had the same one and the fact that Tycan was the only one spared made it to obvious.

Also, why'd he and Rulue just stand around watching Arcus was fighting the monsters? If you're an 18 year old boy and your village is being attacked you're not gonna just stand there gaping at the marks on the creatures while your friend fights.
 

DreadnoughtDT

God of Hyperdeath
Premium
Supporter 2014
His friends aren't dead. Just changed.

I know it went by fast, but just consider this a rough draft. I haven't gotten everything sorted out yet....
 

Meg

Well-known Member
Moderator
Specifics aside I was just letting you know what I noticed. I figure its a work in progress. The whole point of concrit is to point out ares the author needs to work on.
 

Richtofen

Nein, not ze puppies!
Premium
What Meg said. :lol: Details are nice, but so is simplicity. Too much details, people will get bored and of course, not enough it won't keep them hooked. Do you do this all electronically?
 

DreadnoughtDT

God of Hyperdeath
Premium
Supporter 2014
Yeah, I do all this on a computer. I don't have the time or the patience to write it down manually.
 

Daring Dylan

This is all we got now.
Angel of Death;290396 said:
Great job on the work but seriously? this is a DMC forum not KH
You don't think he knows that? This board is for works DMC related or not.
Devil May Cry fan fiction, original stories and fan art submitted by the community.
While that doesn't say "other fandom fan fiction" it's implied that it's a-okay.
 

Richtofen

Nein, not ze puppies!
Premium
Storm Silves;290392 said:
Yeah, I do all this on a computer. I don't have the time or the patience to write it down manually.

Try printing it off then, go over it with a different coloured pen or pencil w/e, it's easier to make corrections. Like taking things out, adding things in ect ect. For me, it's just easier see what needs to be gone, added or switched. And it also makes your page look pretty. :p It's just a helpful hint, I do it all the time with pencil and paper before I put it on computer.
 
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