The Warrior of Evil

[The crazy demon]

Ok i am gonna try the best i can so this tells about one guy called Abel so i am gonna post one chapter of the story but it will be telling a lot of what happened to Abel in his child days

Chapter 1:The Hard Past

One day Abel was in his village with his father,the young white haired boy was looking at the tall figure of his blue eyed father and asked him in a low tone of voice for the ladies that were walking beside them didnt founded out.

"Dad where is brother? where is Kain?".

His father stoped walking and kneeled to look his son in the eyes

"Kain is in the village tower today is his turn to protect the village".

Raising his father looked at the guard tower of the town that was set in fire.

He raised his seven years old boy and runed towards his home he leaved the Boy inside and when to his room.Looking for his sword a white female asked him,"Jesus whats happening why i am hearing screams form the village wheres is Kain".

Jesus founded his sword a longsword with a gem in the handle decorated with gold engraving,and answered his sick wife.

"Anika dont be scared,close the doors and go to the basement and take Abel with you"As he ended speaking he get out of the house and Anika did as sayed.

They waited for hours,finally in the night they decided to come out the only light that guided their way was that of the villagers torches and a pile of burning tombs of wood.

When Jesus looked at them he whispered to his black eyed wife"Dont cry please i was to late the village was in a battle the raiders took Kain life".

Anika just in the moment when she heared the words "Kain" and "Raiders" felled from anger and the sorrow that filled his body at that moment she was couhging blood Abel was in shock the lost of his brother nad looking his mother in that state it destroyed him it eliminated the person Abel was it destroyed the good boy in his soul,it created a boy filled with sorrow.

His mother died one day later of the battle after five long years of fighting with the sickness she died,it just made Abel fill his little body with more sorrow.

The only thing about he was happy was because his six years sister was with their uncle she has the natural gift of magic and the wife from their uncle was a mage so she wanted to be more time with them that with Abel Jesus and Kain

They reached the day whem their uncle Jose brother of their father sayed he was going to search them so they moved out with him.

But............

That day Abel and Jesus were without something to eat so he leaved the boy with his sword and his armor.


The uncle reached the village just to found out what horrible thing happened,his brother was dead killed why the crusaders,the soo called good crusaders he asked to the closed person he could find

"Hey what happened to Jesus"
the mand answered in a low voice"he was killed just because he stealed a piece of bread he said if was for his son"
In that moment Jose runned to the house of his brother he remembered where it was of course how he could forget the place where he grow up.

He opened the door to find Abel crying because he thinked that his father leaved him alone.The white haired guy asked his uncle crying

"Where...is..... my.....dad"
Jose thinked that it was better to let Abel think that he was leaved alone instead of telling him that he was killed just by a piece of bread

He only sayed the little boy."Come Abel your sister Tamara is waiting for you".

And thats his how the story of the Dark Warrior started...........

Sooooooooooooooo now say me what do you think it was good it was bad,constructive critic please those put destructive will be destroyed by the Dark warrior.and please could you let me know where i need to focus more

 

[DreadnoughtDT]

Oh my god! You've certainly gotten much better with English.

On the topic of the story, it's quite good. You actually feel for Abel, who is what we would call a "tragic villain". Nice job for your first writing here!

 

[The crazy demon]

Well thanks DT but Abel will have a great place among the legends of this fiction world.I and just spoiling this in the Abel will be "The Dark Lord that fighted the darknees of hell"

 

[aka958]

Kain, Abel, Jesus? Why all these religious names? (Curiosity, nothing else!)

It seems great, just had a hard time knowing what was going on. Lots of events taking place at the same time. I also got stuck up with the name Kain (reminds me of FFIV and dragoons) so I kinda wandered off a little. Not your fault though, Kain is an awesome name.

One thing though, while your using period, commas or other markings remember to space between the words.
Example, you usually write:
The dog is tired,but its owner won't let it take a break.The dog...

Instead of:
The dog is tired, but its owner won't let it take a break. The dog...

No offense or anything, just wanted to show a little error. If noone is going to show you them, you'll never learn right?

 

[The crazy demon]

ok well thanks for telling me aka, now i know whats is one of the mistakes and you are right you leard from you own errors

And for the names Kain will have something more to do in the story Abel cause it was the name of my favorite trynity blood character and for Jesus i and very bad when it comes to put names in short time also this all was created by my just because i want to create i game with this story but i dont know how to create flashgames.

And i dont know how to draw to when i leard it i will make abel my sig

 

[aka958]

But Kain and Abel both are the sons of Adam and Eva!
Is that just a coincidence?
Funny thing though, the bible summons up women from nowhere but all the men should have important roles... Why is it so?

Fact: The first final fantasy was supposed to be square's last game. After the huge amount of cash it gave, square started to make sequels and became a much more popular game series. Hence the name final fantasy, as it was supposed to be their final game.

 

[The crazy demon]

Chapter 2:The Training for Revenge

Three years, three years have passed from that day when Abel and Tamara losed their family, these three years they have learned new things.

Tamara that has the gift of magic was nine years old this year,she has been learning magic from her aunt Sofia, she has grow up in a beautiful girl like her mom, her black long hair and blue eyes many times has draw the attention of the guys that just walked by their new home, when she was eight his aunt gived her a little witch hat and a robe so she looks now like a little witch, also with her training she now can make spells of low power.

Abel, his uncle Jose that results to be a warrior of the old age has been training Abel in the ways of the sword, lance, axe and scythe, Abel looks like he is the live copy of his father, a little ten years old copy of his father, he still has sorrow in his body he was no more how when he was younger his uncle found that when he saw Abel defending the Tamara of some wolfes when they took a trip to their previus home to give a memorial to their mother,He saw Abel using his father sword when he touched it his green eyes turned red and his facial expression was cooler,he not only scared two wolfs of the pack he killed the others without remorse, Jose didnt know if that was the desire to protect his sister, the liberation of sorrow of his body, or just the desire for vengeance,he is still too little to use his father armor

It was the day before Kain birtday, when Abel woke the firts thing he did was to look in Tamara room, she was still there what maked Abel not be in complete mind rampage was that he know that his litle sister was with him he later when to te kitchen and drinked a glass of milk and when out of the house.

His uncle looked at him and noticed his expression and noticed what he wanted.

"So you want to train Abel you never get tired".

Abel looked his uncle in his eyes and answered."What do you need that i do uncle because i want to get stronger you know for what".

Jose looked at the young white haired and green eyed boy he noticed that he wanted only one thing to protect the only family he has left.

"And what do you want to do Abel you handle the sword and axe with grace you are almost good with the lance but you suck at the scythe".

Abel looked at the weaponds his uncle sharpened yesterday and focused his eyes in the one he thinked it was special.

"I will train with the scythe uncle give me the most hard work that you have for me".

Jose was not surprised even when Abel body was small it never stoped he even knows that he gets up midnight to guard the house,so he was going to give him what he asked.

"Ok Abel go to the forest for two days and bring me the head of the wolf leader ".

Abel grab the scythe and sayed to his uncle."You could not gived me something better".

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Good good good work crazy demon. I like Abel ^_^

 

[The crazy demon]

Thank you Clair for today i maybe post one chapter more but firts i have to deside a name for one new character that will be Abel closest friend

 

[The crazy demon]

Chapter 3:The Wolfs of the Forest

Abel went inside his room to pack some things the firts thing he grab was a pendant that his mother gived him in his when he was seven years old, it made him remember his mom, them some clothes that he know that if him was fighting with wolfs he was going to need them, some food but he only put in his bag a apple.

Them he saw Tamara walking out of her room he walked towards she and speaked.

"Tamara i am going to do somethings in the town so i may come back in somedays". He hided the truth because he didnt wanted that his little sister was going to get nervous and sad about Abel going to the forest, in fact all Abel training was made secret to Tamara.

The cute girl just answered.

"Ok but remember to bring me something".

Abel hugged she before going out, he opened the door where his uncle kept the weapons he grab the one that he was going to use to survive in the forest, he looked the scythe it was created for him forget by his uncle even when Abel has a musculature built his size dont helped him when using weapons.

He then closed the door and walked around the house for his sister will not look him, he then started to walk direction to forest, eventually he reached the entrance of the forest, Abel looked the small path in front of him surrounded for tall trees and mosh.

The only thing in Abels mind was.

"If i want to protect Tamara and become stronger i will do anything i can".

And them the young boy entered the forest just for hear the howling of the wolfs that just smelled fresh meat.

 

[The crazy demon]

Chapter 3 Part:2

Abel continued to get deeper in the forest, he learned some tricks from his uncle, he slashed a little some trees so he could go back that way, he reached a small spring he looked a pack of almost twenty wolfs, but they werent one, they were two packs fighting for territory.

Abel hided behind a felled tree he could take five or seven but he cant take soo much wolfs, then the fight started he looked at the biggers ones he supposed they were the pack leaders one haved white fur, and the other was black, he noticed what was the pack of each one cause the wolfs were from the same color that their leader.

The battle didnt take so long in the end the blacks winned but they suffered great lost, and the white leader was seriusly damaged, so Abel decided to take the head of that one, but it runned from the spring so Abel has to found it again. The black wolfs runned too, Abel could only think that they were going home.

Abel closed the spring to look the scene after scaning the battlefield he looked at the pendant it was changing colors in from blue to red and back, he remembered that his mother keeped some secrets specially the time she maked soup without water, but his targed was runing, so he decided to follow the footsteds that it leaved behind.

It was already turning late the sun was going to set so Abel walked quick because he didnt wanted that he was going to be ambushed by wolf in the night, he reached the place where it was the wolf home it was a cave, the pendant started to float it was pointing that cave.

Abel could only think that his mom was a wicht that explains how his sister could use magic,he didnt minded it and walked in the cave is was small he looked at the wolf, he looked the wounds he received it was in little time for death, Abel observed something behind the wolf it looked like a cristal it looked the same that the pendant it was that was has been making the pendant act of that way.


He focused his eyes another time in the wolf, but it was already death he died for his wounds, them he looked another wolf run to his side it was his son because it started howling when it reached his father side, Abel didnt cared that much about his father because he believed that he leaved him and Tamara alone.

Abel closed the son of the great white wolf, it was a little bigger that Abel, he touched his head and sayed.

"You want revenge for your father dont you".

The wolf replied only by steping besides Abel how it he was wanting that Abel mounted in him, the boy did it and the wolf instead of going out the cave he walked towards the cristal and Abel touched it, a flow of energy enveloped Abel he now haved in his mind some words that he never know neither heared then before.

Abel sayed the firts one he remembered holding his scythe.

"Re" and his scythe enveloped in flames the pendant did it too.

Abel then started thinking in something. And sayed to his new companion.

"Well what do you think of Lunos for your name".

The wolf kind of sort replied by doind a yes emote with his head.

Abel them sayed looking at his weapon."Well them we are now ready".

Them he focused his sight to the exit of the cave.

"CHARGE", he sayed, and his new companion charged to the dark forest to kill the killer of his father.

 

[Vergil'sBitch]

I really liked that.

And Kain is such a cool name.

 

[The crazy demon]

thank you for posting VB

 

[Vergil'sBitch]

No problem... keep up the good work

 

[The crazy demon]

Chapter 3 Part 3

As the wolf runned to the lair of the blacks, Abel was looking around his mind for the ramaining words, that came to his mind when he touched the cristal his pendant was in flames but it didnt burned him and his weapom now totally enveloped in flames didnt burned him neither Lunos.

He founded new words that might help him in the battle in lair of blacks, but he tried the firts one he founded, he looked at Lunos and the young boy sayed the word.

"Fi".

In the exact moment flames were in Lunos legs, the wolf started runing faster and the flames in a moment took all his body but it didnt burned him neither Abel.

Abel holded strong to Lunos fur because he was runing soo quick that he was leaving a line of fire with each step, it was already midnight, and Abel thinked.

"Happy birthday Kain you are now thirty". When thinked he heared a voice in his mind, "Who is Kain it? ", it demande to know.

"Who are you firts?", the boy replied to his mind, The fiery beast that was now Lunos stoped and looked Abel.

"I am Lunos your mount how you are using magic now i can talk with you". The wolf continued his path towards the blacks lair, there was a lot of felled trees, he scaled one in diagonal direction and howled as for the moon it was heared all along the forest it even was heared by Abels uncle, his only thought was that Abel completed his mission, but still there was something to do to, to kill the wolfs, to kill their leader and to take the trophy, and go to home.

They finally reached the black lair, they were waiting them so Abel decided to strike quick but hard he used another magic word he reminded.

"Fire".

A ball of fire was created from flames particles of Lunos in front of Abel the boy used his hand as a control, he formed a punch with it and moved the ball of fire to the center of the wolfs lair, he released his hand and the ball explode killing lots of wolfs in a moment but still the remained like five wolfs of the packs of course the leader was still alive.

Abel decided to drop from Lunos and two wolfs charged at him one in front and other tried to round him, Abel moved forward to he was not going to strike at Lunos by accident, they were closing him he draw his weapom and waited, his uncle teached him how to use his brain in battles, when the wolf in front jumped to bite his neck the other that tried to round him jumped too, the only reaction of the boy was to wait, the time was going slower, he waited and waited, un til the moment they were about of bite him he did a circular slash with his scythe and wolfs were cuted in half and burned to ashes because the magic of re.

The other two runned from the fear with the tail between legs, the leader looked them and it was enraged with them, he droped his guard so Lunos jumped and bited his neck the flames of Lunos were being propaged to the black leader, when Lunos was in normal state, the only thing it reamained from the wolf leader were his bones, Abel grabed the head of the wolf and looked at Lunos he knew that even when he tooked revenge he lost his father.

Abel closed him and looked the sad face of the wolf, he hugged him and telled him dont worry you are going to get new friends and family if you come with me, the wolf changed his face and replied, "And where is that Master".

"Follow me and you will see", and the boy started walking and the wolf followed.

Next day Abel has reached home with mastery of magic, the head of the black wolf, and the most important a new friend.

 

[DreadnoughtDT]

Nice. I like Lunos. His connection to Abel, plus his name, which I believe is a play on the word "Luna", meaning "moon" is pretty cool. Abel's powers have just awakened, and I think they will continue to grow in strength. Now, though, he needs to learn how to control wind, water, earth, electricity, ice, light, and most importantly, darkness. Keep up the writing! Good job!

 

[The crazy demon]

Well if you look well he remembered words of power but he just used three of them.

Also............................................................................................................................................................................................................................


Are you MAD i cant create so much chapters for that great amound of elements

 

[DreadnoughtDT]

I know... I was just going to shorten it down to the four "lesser" elements. For those that don't know, there are three elemental charts.

Greater Elements
Fire
Water
Wind
Earth

Lesser Elements
Electricity
Ice
Time
Metal

Divine Elements
Darkness
Light
Nothingness

I was thinking of focusing on the lesser elements, because they get almost NO attention.

 

[The crazy demon]

Well DT maybe later i will consider to ad a closer tie of elements and story, but well here it is a new chapter, and there is a little DMC universe influence in it

Chapter 4: The Choosing


Five years have passed since the adventure of the forest.

Lunos has grow much he still can be used has a mount for Abel, his hair has become even whiter, when Abel returned his sister used Lunos has a toy, mainly she dressed him as a girl or used him as a horse, still he is loyal to Abel and his family.

Tamara is now fourteen she has become a beatiful girl, he helps his aunt a lot in cooking, and in return she teaches her magic, she is now a master wicht, she can now from freeze water to burn a forest, it was a accident, the responsable to stop the fires were Abel his uncle and his aunt, in return, Tamara was grounded with a mont without magic, currently she has a boyfriend called Vaan.

Abel is now fiveteen, he has become a master warrior, he even defeated his uncle, he now even is taller that his uncle, he showed his new powers to his family excludind Tamara because of his secret, his aunt teached him some words and he learned how to control it to dont hurd who he cares, he has made friends and is now happier but his past trauma still haunts him, he has become too a hunter his uncle made him a bow and a knife of wolf bone, he knows how to cook too because he kills it he cooks it.

This day is his day, he is now becoming fiveteen, he has received if gifts already, from Lunos he received meat bear meat he telled him that it was the better gift that a wolf will receive, so it was that what they did for food that day, from Tamara he received a flower, from his uncle he received a armor, and from his aunt just received a word it was "tele", she sayed.

"When you use it just think of a place or a person".

Later that night, he had a nightmare, he was in a dark place there was nothing around him just the floor where he walked, he continued walking until he found something strange but still powerful he could feel the strange aura around him.

"What are you?" the boy asked, the strange thing was revealed to be just a hooded figure.

"Nothing but you are something...this isnt a dream you know it dont you do".

"Yes, but what explain me what is this"

"This is your choose, chosen you have been shosen to shose". The hooded man replied.


"I get it but what do i have to choose".

"Your way if you are gonna be evil, or you are gonna be good".

".......I just want something that is the same thing maked me to train", after a long pause he replied.


"I just want to be stronger.... i just want to protect even if i have to destroy, i am evil and nothing else, i suffered enought in my life already, i will not let she to suffer the same that me".


"Evil choise".



And the hood explode, the dust revealed a giant monster, a being of six dark wings, great claws and hooves, horns of fire and red eyes. "But if you want to gain power you must show your value", and the great being flyed away.

A voice was heared in Abel mind,"I let there something for you also if you want to wake is better you past your trial".

And Abel looked around he looked his father armor and sword, they changed from gold to dark and the engraving was showing a dark glow and he finally could read it.

He put his father armor when he put it was lighter that a feather, and it expanded, from just a breatplate to include a helmet, greaves and gloves, it looked like the entity he just looked,and he readed the engraving it sayed,"Think of war and you will fight".

He thinked of a lance and the sword extended and the blade became larger becoming a lance, so he thinked on his other weapons and it became them, he maked it return to his original form.

He looked a door and he opened it and looked a desert, he steped inside or more like out, and he just sayed.

"If this is what stops me of becoming stronger them lets the massacre beging"


And so the Dark Warrior started his journey.................


Ok obviusly the entity was a demon, and i sayed a dmc universe reference so whats the relation of sand and dmc.

 

[DreadnoughtDT]

Nice work! I wonder if we'll be seeing more of this demon in the future...