The Seven Deadly Writing Sins

[Daring Dylan]

I didn't know where to put this: In the Fanfiction section, or here. I settled on here, but move it if necessary.

Authorial Avarice -- a belief that story length measures story worth, and the longer the better, resulting in enormous rambling novels lasting for upwards of fifteen hundred pages in print. Ultimately said novels are only good for two things: killing bugs the reader swats or serving as an emergency doorstop while unloading groceries from the car.

Book Bitterness -- producing envy-riddled text, in which the author savages some colleague whose books sell better, a highly successful personage with more money than God (usually Bill Gates), or a reviewer who hatchet-jobbed one of their books (for chronic variations, see David Drake/Charles Platt Syndrome.)

Elemental Indolence -- to refrain from properly researching/crafting/rendering some aspect of or element in the story because the author perceives it to be too much work, or something the reader (an idiot) will never understand anyway so why bother explaining it? Usually results in a lot of telling versus showing, housekeeping dialogue or the employment of the word chiaroscuro more than five times in the story.

Literary Lechery -- the author's inclusion of explicit sex scenes or other gratuitous and shocking material, not because they actually serve the story, but in the hope of boosting sales or because their editor told them too. If the author becomes a Christian fiction writer later on in life, s/he will tearfully apologize in public for this (see lesser sins, Hester Prynne Hysteria.)

Over-Ornateness -- a case of extravagant word gluttony, when the author spends most of the story describing things while employing at least three flowery adjectives for every other noun. Also called purple prose, usually begins on the very first page of the novel, when the story initiates with a florid variation of Bulwer-Lytton's notorious opener It was a dark and stormy night . . .

Voice Vanity -- an author who makes all of their protagonists thinly-disguised, highly-idealized versions of themselves; the protagonists are inevitably beautiful, smart, handsome, thin, tall, rich, universally admired and everyone in the novel wants to sleep with them. Usually touched off by the author's messy divorce or overnight success with the first book.

Writer Wrath -- when the author's anger over a political, social or other real world situation takes precedent over entertaining the reader and results in visible ax-grinding within the story. Warning signs: characters who are obvious spoofs of unpopular public figures, wars that result in the unsavory demise of a spoof character, any evil overlord antagonist named something like G'eor Gewb Ush.

I've been lurking in the Writers' Circle over on TwilightSucks and I thought this was something interesting to share with you guys, since I know there are quite a few writers here.

I suffer from Writer Wrath. Mainly towards homophobes and religious nuts. I once went so overboard with bashing the former that a gay character of mine had to tell me to calm the **** down. >.<

I also suffer from Voice Vanity. My characters are really, really flawed on the inside, but they're hot, pretty, cute, sexy, etc. I don't have the heart to make them ugly, for some reason.

AND I suffer from Literary Lechery. Although, they're kind of for my entertainment, but God knows they're there.

So, to the other writers on this site, what are your sins? Or are you Writing Jesus?

 

[Dante's Stalker]

I suffer none of the above.

I believe that a novel is only as long as it's story. Let's cut the bullcrap and get to the point...in the blunt words of an OC of mine.

Revenge-writing serves no purpose but to take up valuable time and effort that COULD have been directed in a positive way and possibly have taken you to #1 on the NY best-sellers list. If only you weren't so butthurt. *sigh*

I always research. Researching is one of the biggest requirements of being a writer. You write what you know, and if you don't know, RESEARCH! I even researched the water nymphs for my one-shot where Vergil is put under one's spell. All you need to know is the basics.

Literary Lechery ... I'll point my editor to this here post if they come back to me and demand 'more passion' from my work. My characters only get jiggy with it when I feel there's a need for it, eg. writing romance. I'll also refer to Avatar here - the sex scene? FAIL! I laughed. What was the point?

I don't over-describe my settings. I say what needs to be said and leave the rest to the reader's imagination.

Not exactly guilty of the voice vanity thing either. I mean, Mikael IS like that, but he's an idiot, doesn't like people (other than to use them), and it's really all just because he's a runaway prince from some far off place. The other characters view him in that light, but Mikael's self-image is a bit...different to theirs. Otherwise, none of my characters are perfect in appearance. One has a scar, the other is too thin and tall and pale, the other just looks like a freak...they're just people.

And I don't suffer of writer wrath either. I'm a Christian and that will come through in my writing, but my purpose for writing is first and foremost to entertain my readers and keep them engaged, no matter what ethnicity or sexual orientation or gender they may be. So unless I'm writing Christian-fiction (which I'm not), none of my characters are going to outright declare a holy war against the devil, verstaan?

Given, I've had a few years to erase the negativity that spoils writing before I started posting online. It gets easier the more you gain control of your writing and find your author's voice.

 

[Daring Dylan]

All bow down before Clair, for she is writing Jesus. *bows*

I guess when you've been writing for as long as you have, you stop doing that stuff. Hopefully, I'll get better, considering I've only been writing for a year at most.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

I'm rootin for ya Dani ^_^

 

[Meg]

I suffer from none of these. *phew* I like the one about the Mary Sues the best. Sues are the greatest insult to good story tellers everywhere and the fact that Sue-bloated Twilight is so darn popular is just AHHH! I. HATE. MARY. SUES!!!! *explodes*

 

[Dante's Stalker]

I second what Meg said.
You know, and then the other day when a discussion about unpublished writers flaming published and successful authors came up with an editor, he said that everyone who is published and successful has EARNED it and WORKED HARD to get there, and that instead of flaming them we low and unworthy writers should study their work to see what they did right.

My immediate response: "I don't need to study Twilight. All I need to do is shed all of 10 years worth of writing experience and I can produce the same level of crap." Meyer did nothing right!!!! If anything, SHE DID EVERYTHING WRONG! Too many idling scenes, cheezy dialogue, flat stereo-types with no motivation. It's predictable, it's been done before, and it's utter crap. The only reason why she's so popular is because she brainwashed tweens by trolling sites to spread the word of her books, and in turn the tweens have brainwashed their dumb mothers.
Really.
When the King says Twilight is merda, take his word for it. He's been in the business nearly all his life, he knows a thing or two about what makes a good story. I honestly can't believe the butthurt Twitards actually wanted to flame THE KING OF HORROR for being honest.

May the sparkling vampires burn in hell.

 

[DreadnoughtDT]

;_; I suffer from one of these. Voice Vanity.