The locked book

[KRSkull]

In the past few days i have been thinking about something a friend of mine said

she said "I am really ugly". and she got angry and said that i insulted her when i said to her "You are te most beautiful girl i ever met"

"all girls are equally beautiful" that is what my friends grandmother said. so if there were three girls sitting in a bus

one is blonde with blue eyes

the second has dark brown hair and hazel eyes

the third has black hair and dark brown eyes

then according to my friends grandmother. all three girls have the same persantge which is 33,33333333333333%. and that means that girls won't be jealous of each other because they are equally beautiful.

but if they are equally beautiful then why do some girls say that they are ugly. and they get angry and say that you are insulting them by saying they are beautiful?

if the girl with blonde hair and blue eyes met the girl with brown hair and hazel eyes. then each girl will wish that she lookss like the other girl. and they will think that they are ugly because the other girl is much pretty than her. but if one of the girls change her look to become like the other girl and looked in the mirror. she will still say that she looks ugly. if a girl thought that she looks ugly before and after che changed how she looks.then why did she went and changed how she looks if it won't make any diffrence?

 

[Tartarus]

Then who was girl?

 

[Dante's Stalker]

she said "I am really ugly". and she got angry and said that i insulted her when i said to her "You are te most beautiful girl i ever met"

She might have thought you were just humouring her. Safest ticket to use in this situation is to point out her good qualities as a person, whether she has a beautiful laugh or a brilliant personality that outshines whatever other girl she's envying on. If a girl really feels she's ugly in appearance, there's no point in trying to convince her otherwise.

 

[Meg]

Its really simple. Most girls have low self esteem. As sad as that is, its true. Girls have very complicated brains that no one really understands. I don't even understand it and I am a girl.

 

[KRSkull]

Its really simple. Most girls have low self esteem. As sad as that is, its true. Girls have very complicated brains that no one really understands. I don't even understand it and I am a girl.

So Girls are usually insecure and they compare themselves to other girls. But if you just assume that most girls are insecure about the way they look, you'd be right most of the time. is that what you mean?

 

[DreadnoughtDT]

That's what she meant... I'd just talk to her. And don't sound like a douche when you say it. It helps.

 

[Vergil'sBitch]

if someone ever pays me a complement, i always think that they are taking the... mickey.
clairavance and meg127 have a point. Also, i don't understand it either.

 

[Durante]

Compliments are the way to go if you want to be charming that's why some people give real compliments but some just give fake ones. But if a girl doesn't accept the compliment,so then she doesn't know of her beauty or is too shy to accept it but some girls can't accept compliments from people they don't like or understand them the wrong way.It's very complicated there are many type of thinking girls. Some know what they are worth,others don't. Usually a girl being jealious of other girl looking pretty means that she doesn't understand how beautiful she is herself that's why she tries to be more like other girls which shows that she cares about how she looks herself,which makes her think that the compliments given to her aren't real ones and that people are lying.Making her think otherwise isin't easy.

 

[KRSkull]

Compliments are the way to go if you want to be charming that's why some people give real compliments but some just give fake ones. But if a girl doesn't accept the compliment,so then she doesn't know of her beauty or is too shy to accept it but some girls can't accept compliments from people they don't like or understand them the wrong way.It's very complicated there are many type of thinking girls. Some know what they are worth,others don't. Usually a girl being jealious of other girl looking pretty means that she doesn't understand how beautiful she is herself that's why she tries to be more like other girls which shows that she cares about how she looks herself,which makes her think that the compliments given to her aren't real ones and that people are lying.Making her think otherwise isin't easy.

I see. but how can i prove to that girl that i am not giving her some fake compliments?

 

[Meg]

Durante hit the nail on the head. As for proving that your compliments are real, you have to show her how pretty she is without actually saying it. actions speak louder than words.

 

[KRSkull]

So there is only one way to find the answer

and that is to meet all the girls in this world.

 

[Meg]

haha, you can try that. but getting to really know one is just as good.

 

[Sparda™]

Look, simple gestures will do the trick - act worried for any problem she has, call her If she needs anything in any case and most important of all, be available to her. Even when you have your own business, you should share some of your precious time for her.

Words aren't always needed, but when they are, use them wisely.

 

[LordOfDarkness]

Argh, this stressful topic. Where do I begin on this? Women are way more different then men, in pretty much every aspect. However, some women do want to be men, and vice-versa. Or in some cases, they just act like men (Tom Boys) But actually, we don't realise it, but the same principle of jealousy with appearance is in us men also.

Some women and men here may not know or understand these things, but let me explain further. Women are usually shy about certain things, low-esteemed and try to exceed for perfection in most areas. They are usually more polite, more well mannered and well presented. Men on the other hand, are usually selfish, over-confident and are more slob like. However, not in all cases. Every man and woman can vary. There will be men with womanly characteristics, and vice-versa.

My girlfriend is genuinely shy, she likes to look perfect, and she doesn't think she is pretty. As her man, I try to compliment all the time. These are true compliments, I would never fake anything to her. For a guy to do so, that is considered lying. Your ass on the line if she finds out you don't really think that way entirely. So in a relationship, always be honest. Never ever flatter someone, with compliments or any other means, unless your actions are good and you truly mean it. If they are not, it is wise to not act at all, and just leave the person alone.

Because she strives for perfection, she may have times where she doesn't like what she is wearing or what her hair looks like. No matter what you do guys, always tell the girl they look good. If you love her, you will truly think and feel that anyway. So in such a case, answer almost immediately, without any doubt in your voice. She may not agree with the compliments, but tell her this "In my opinion you are the most beautiful woman to ever walk the Earth, and nobody has a scratch on how good you look. This is how I feel for you, and even if you don't think that way, that's the way your boyfriend views you, and you should like the compliments I give to you". Even if she doesn't feel that way, the best thing you can do is tell her constantly that you feel that way. Because even if she may never change that about herself, at least she will know that the person who loves her the most thinks so highly of her with regards to her looks and personality. Never ever admire or comment on any other woman. Never ever mention any other women, names or anything. Just say her name, and comment on her alone. Even if you are just mentioning a slight thing about another woman, this could lead to jealousy and paranoia (What if this other woman looks better than me?) You really don't want that.

Lastly, to you girls, as a man myself lol We do have the same feelings as you do, just displayed in different ways. If we see a guy with an 8 pack, and we have flab, we will be jealous. Same as if you see a girl with blue eyes, and you have hazel ones, and you don't like that. So yes, men are just like women when it comes to this. So in all fairness, it's just as important to compliment your man

 

[Dante's Stalker]

1. No matter what you do guys, always tell the girl they look good. If you love her, you will truly think and feel that anyway.

2. Never ever admire or comment on any other woman. Never ever mention any other women, names or anything. Just say her name, and comment on her alone. Even if you are just mentioning a slight thing about another woman, this could lead to jealousy and paranoia (What if this other woman looks better than me?) You really don't want that.

3.Lastly, to you girls, as a man myself lol We do have the same feelings as you do, just displayed in different ways. If we see a guy with an 8 pack, and we have flab, we will be jealous. Same as if you see a girl with blue eyes, and you have hazel ones, and you don't like that. So yes, men are just like women when it comes to this. So in all fairness, it's just as important to compliment your man

:$... Do I detect a romantic in our midst?

1. And if you really love her, and that ripped blouse she's wearing looks hot to you but might not be appropriate for public wear, tell her to change it. Really, she'd hate you if she went out and had people look at her funny, plus she'd hardly trust your commentary from then on (unless she's an attention-seeker and WANT people to look at her funny)

2. I think jealousy would only count if it concerned somebody you know, like another girl at school. But I agree about the paranoia. She'll get to a point where she'll think 'why even try keep his eye fixed on me alone?' and then just kind of give up taking care of herself. Paranoia breaks down self-esteem.

3. Which concludes that people are never satisfied with what they've got - that's just human nature. There will always be something you want to change, something more you want, something you regret. Nobody can ever be perfectly happy forever (and I recon if a person is, they're in denial)

Good points made LoD, I think you covered a lot of ground with your post.

 

[LordOfDarkness]

:$... Do I detect a romantic in our midst?

1. And if you really love her, and that ripped blouse she's wearing looks hot to you but might not be appropriate for public wear, tell her to change it. Really, she'd hate you if she went out and had people look at her funny, plus she'd hardly trust your commentary from then on (unless she's an attention-seeker and WANT people to look at her funny)

2. I think jealousy would only count if it concerned somebody you know, like another girl at school. But I agree about the paranoia. She'll get to a point where she'll think 'why even try keep his eye fixed on me alone?' and then just kind of give up taking care of herself. Paranoia breaks down self-esteem.

3. Which concludes that people are never satisfied with what they've got - that's just human nature. There will always be something you want to change, something more you want, something you regret. Nobody can ever be perfectly happy forever (and I recon if a person is, they're in denial)

Good points made LoD, I think you covered a lot of ground with your post.

Perhaps

1. I agree, you don't want to make her think that you are giving her funny compliments. She may start to lose faith in your judgement, and you want to be enhancing that aspect here. Also, you don't exactly want your woman showing off too much of herself in public places. So if she is asking you if the really short skirt is attractive on her, you tell her yes, but make sure she understands that revealing clothes are best worn behind closed doors. Closed doors that belong to the two of you alone

2. Perhaps jealousy here could also concern famous people. As a man, I am aware that women tend to look at thousands of different men, before they end up with their boyfriend. You would think it was the same in guys. I tend to find that women will discuss guys in a more deeper manner.

Examine.

Three women hanging out in Town, and they are discussing a new guy.

First Woman: Have you seen that new kid Tom?

Second Woman: I know, he's so dreamy. Have you seen the blue eyes he has? They're gorgeous. Every time he looks at me, I just melt.

Third Woman: Plus he also works out, so I bet he's quite strong.

First Woman: I wouldn't mind having him wrap his arms around me.

And now we can do a typical, most case, man scenario.

Three guys discussing a new girl.

First Guy: Have you seen that new girl?

Second Guy: What's her name?

Third Guy: It's Sarah.

First Guy: I'd do her!

End Scenario Two

Men in most cases with relation to woman, tend to think more sexually. In case women here may wonder why, it's because men have higher testosterone then women do, meaning they are more likely to think about sex more often than a woman would. It's just human nature, but it is quite wrong lol

With this said, to all you men, you won't be the first guy that she has ever really thought about. You will get to a stage where she is only focused on you, but that comes to when you are open, honest, faithful and loving enough. At that stage, she will be past the discussing of other men. Although maybe not completely, but as long as she stays true to you, what else matters? Just don't discuss anything woman related in front of her. No mentioning of other women at all. I agree, the paranoia will eat away at her mind, like a monkey eating a banana. And the last thing you want is for her to just say "Ah, I don't care if you look at other women" Trust me, you WANT her to care, because you would if it was the other way around.

3. Even men with huge muscles, may strive for even bigger muscles. Even men who win things, want to win more. It's just how the World is, human nature is based on greed. We strive off our own egos and selfishness. It's a dog eat dog World, and we'll never be satisfied, not even when we look like a God or a Goddess, we'd still find problems. It's really, truly sad to see. But the truth does hurt after all.

Thank you, same to you ^_^

Maybe we should be giving relationship advice? :lol:

 

[KRSkull]

Maybe we should have a members relation group?

and thank you clairavance and LOD for the help

 

[Durante]

Sorry for abrupting you Lord Of Darkness but like you said there are many different girls and boys. Some girls are not that kinda shy and don't talk well mannered with everyone. Thoose girls know self-esteem and flirt with everyone they've meet aswell as they change boyfriends as gloves. Im not saying that everyone is like that but it's more and more common to meet such a girl which sleep with every guy they meet. That's how atleast the young peoples style is. But when you think of it it does depend on the lifestyle person grows and the enviroment that's why i think that the new generations kids don't tend to be mannered or see true love.

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Maybe we should be giving relationship advice? :lol:

:lol: ...speechless... heheheh

Your most welcome Cyclone/Joker ^_^

@Durante: Your right, there are a lot of girls out there who like to spread themselves around. I'd know because 99% of my friends do exactly that, but it's like you said, different people come from different backgrounds, have different influences that turn them into the people they are. I figure those girls are the ones with ziltch self-esteem.

Sleeping with complete strangers - screams out 'I just wanna be loved', even if it takes a simple one-night stand for them to experience a feeling similar to 'being loved'. And with the constantly having a new boyfriend thing? Here's a perfect example:

I had a friend who flew through guys, really. I'd ask her 'so how's things with Brian?' and she'd say 'Brian is so last week, I'm with Peter now'. It got so bad to a point where I just stopped asking who she was dating because I couldn't keep up. Granted, she comes from a divorced home, lost a stepfather who had raised her since a little girl, and had to adapt to her mother marrying another man who brought in a swarm of stepbrothers and stepsisters for her. But she was classed as rich, she was super-popular throughout high school, the tall slender blonde with the big doe eyes and angelic smile that had guys punching each other lights out to be her 'special'. So, imo, she fell victim to the 'gotta keep up the facade that people fell in love with' notion, but when high school ended, the 'Ice Queen' title that earned her chocolates and roses and poems, got her nowhere, because in the Real World things work differently than in high school. So, she did the only thing she could to compensate for that 'wanted' and 'popular' feeling she was accustomed to, and that is sleeping with every guy that blinks her way.

That's all my theory on it anyway. Some girls are just nymphomaniacs (might have the spelling wrong there) and can't help themselves. Not all girls are like that, though. You get the good girls out there, you just need to dig through all the bad ones to find them.

 

[LordOfDarkness]

:lol: ...speechless... heheheh

Don't be, really!

@Durante: Anyone who just sleeps with someone to feel loved, is not going the right way about it. Love is unexplainable, you can't just sum it up in words. And it's not always easy to sum it up in emotions either. But the act of sex does not say "I love you", it just says "I'm using you to get something I want. I couldn't really care less about you". Love is when you are committed to someone, you care for their feelings and you want to be with them alone. The act of sex in true love is to express how much warmth and love your body has for theirs. The touch, the feeling is meant to be special. How can you get that feeling from a stranger? Someone you have no understanding about, no ground to establish or history obtained. It's just not possible. People like that are incorrect in my eyes. Although however they wish to live their lives is up to them. But handing yourself to every man or woman out there, depending on gender, for absolutely nothing will never pay off in the end. No matter how many times they do it, love will never be involved.