Tell me what you think...please.

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Trish67

Trish67

Bad a$$ Gunslinger
Nov 21, 2006
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fullmetalalchemist.forumotion.net
I just posted Part 1 of the prolouge of my story on the fanfiction forum. Its called Resurection. If you could check it out and tell me what you think, that would be appreciated. Constructive critism welcome. But please be nice since this is my first Devil May Cry story.

Ps. I got some of the ideas for the coversation between Dante and Trish from a another fanfic I read. It is not excatly like the fanfic. but i did get some of my ideas from it. so some of the ideas are not mine. and i don't own devil may cry either so...don't sue me please!
 
What are you trying to write, a love story or a sex story?
Either way be sure to check your spelling before you save, because I noticed more than a couple of spelling mistakes. One more thing, try to create an atmosphere first, not just in the background but also between charcters, build up to things and lose the predictability of it all. On a final note it might pay off to add some humour or wit whether its jolly or sardonic/ sarcastic I think it would be welcome in your fanfic.

Sorry if that was too harsh but I smelled potential in the first few lines but it disappeared all too quickly.
Again this is just my opinion but I think it definitely has room for improvement.;)
 
well the dante and trish in your story would, but the dante and trish from the games probably wouldnt. dante and trish in the games were a lot different, and i love that how you made them loosen up together
 
Trish67;15654 said:
I just posted Part 1 of the prolouge of my story on the fanfiction forum. Its called Resurection. If you could check it out and tell me what you think, that would be appreciated. Constructive critism welcome. But please be nice since this is my first Devil May Cry story.

Ps. I got some of the ideas for the coversation between Dante and Trish from a another fanfic I read. It is not excatly like the fanfic. but i did get some of my ideas from it. so some of the ideas are not mine. and i don't own devil may cry either so...don't sue me please!
Click to expand...

i will see it then...........and i will comment as soon as i had time
 
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