TerrorA
Don't mess with a Mage, bitch.
Does anyone have some writing they would like to share? I like comparing my style with others
For me:
(Excerpt from Kross and Rain: Cursed Souls)
Kross was awoken by the screams of women and smells of smoke. He quickly leapt to his feet, and retrieved his trousers and sword. He charged from the house. It was the most horrific sight he had ever seen, Akolite soldiers, were destroying his village. The village that was home to some of the most formidable warriors in the world of Fero was now a corpse-strewn field. His parents! They were the only thing he could think about in this terrible time. He ran to the guardhouse, where his parents would be. He dropped to his knees; his parents were nothing, only corpses on the ground. He covered his face; his hands were quickly soaked by his tears. His golden eyes quickly flared, before he realized something. Jay’s in trouble! Kross ran to the hidden corner of the village set aside for Jay’s study corner.
Six soldiers stood between Kross and his goal. Kross gripped his sword tightly. “OUT OF MY WAY!” He roared, as he swung his blade down toward the first man. Halfway through the swing, he switched it into a horizontal slash, neatly bisecting the man. The other five men fell upon him, stabbing forward. But their blades only found each other. Kross had dashed off to the side the moment the blades had blocked their field of vision. Kross dashed back in, stabbing the nearest man clean through, before slashing out into the next. As the third man tried to stab Him from behind, Kross spun around him and sent a blow directly to the man’s skull. Suddenly, a pain in his side ripped through Kross. The warrior to his left twirled his rapier, still dripping with Kross’ blood. He attacked again, a multitude of slashes. Another man, wielding twin kukris, also bore down on Kross. The two pushed him back, launching lightning fast strikes that left the golden eyed boy unable to mount an offensive. Kross steadily lost ground as the two pounded away at his defenses. The boy kicked out, his metal greaves denting the metal in the armor of the fencer, before piercing through him. Kross then rounded on the knife user, and three quick strikes brought doom to the soldier. Kross turned again, putting all his force into the swing of his sword, causing it to cleave straight through the remaining men. As they fell, the raven-haired boy rushed past.
Kross entered the room. There among the books, was Jay. The boy lay in a pool of his own blood, a wicked chest wound slowly killing him.
Kross' sword dropped. He ran to his brother's side and tried to stop the bleeding with his hands.
(Excerpt from Spiral Dragons)
“The crawling shadows rolled over the small apartment as Jason read the book, this book. The glistening letters whispered to him the secret to summoning unstoppable horrors. The words Malum Magia: Atheros Release! ”
A crash of thunder resounded throughout the small bookstore. The lights flickered ominously, before going out entirely. The ground lurched violently.
“An earthquake? In Cleveland?” Leo yelled, falling to the ground. Jio fell as well.
“Crap! Leo! Find something sturdy and get under it!” Jio ordered, his voice taking on an authoritative “big brother” tone. The brothers scrambled under the thick oak front desk as the shaking grew in intensity. The floor cracked open where the book had fallen. A seething mass of darkness shifted and swirled in the cracks.
“What the ****?” Leo asked.
“I don’t even-what?” Jio screamed in shock.
The formless mass let out a shriek as it shifted and warped, rising out of the cracks to form….something. There were no words to describe this creature, if it could be called such. The ever shifting form rumbled and changed, but the default form seemed to be a hellish mix of a lamprey, an octopus, and a scorpion. The boys looked at the thing and ran toward the door. The two weaved through the bookshelves, trying to break the creature’s line of sight. The two split up to confuse the thing. Suddenly a tendril lashed out! The appendage wrapped around Leo’s leg.
“Get off!” Leo kicked and struggled, to no avail. Slowly the abomination dragged him towards its mouth filled with rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth. The boy screamed in true terror.
.
BAM!!!
A heavy bookcase slammed into the creature, causing it to release its prey.
“Don’t touch my little brother.” Jio growled, standing behind the bookcase he had pushed over.
For me:
(Excerpt from Kross and Rain: Cursed Souls)
Kross was awoken by the screams of women and smells of smoke. He quickly leapt to his feet, and retrieved his trousers and sword. He charged from the house. It was the most horrific sight he had ever seen, Akolite soldiers, were destroying his village. The village that was home to some of the most formidable warriors in the world of Fero was now a corpse-strewn field. His parents! They were the only thing he could think about in this terrible time. He ran to the guardhouse, where his parents would be. He dropped to his knees; his parents were nothing, only corpses on the ground. He covered his face; his hands were quickly soaked by his tears. His golden eyes quickly flared, before he realized something. Jay’s in trouble! Kross ran to the hidden corner of the village set aside for Jay’s study corner.
Six soldiers stood between Kross and his goal. Kross gripped his sword tightly. “OUT OF MY WAY!” He roared, as he swung his blade down toward the first man. Halfway through the swing, he switched it into a horizontal slash, neatly bisecting the man. The other five men fell upon him, stabbing forward. But their blades only found each other. Kross had dashed off to the side the moment the blades had blocked their field of vision. Kross dashed back in, stabbing the nearest man clean through, before slashing out into the next. As the third man tried to stab Him from behind, Kross spun around him and sent a blow directly to the man’s skull. Suddenly, a pain in his side ripped through Kross. The warrior to his left twirled his rapier, still dripping with Kross’ blood. He attacked again, a multitude of slashes. Another man, wielding twin kukris, also bore down on Kross. The two pushed him back, launching lightning fast strikes that left the golden eyed boy unable to mount an offensive. Kross steadily lost ground as the two pounded away at his defenses. The boy kicked out, his metal greaves denting the metal in the armor of the fencer, before piercing through him. Kross then rounded on the knife user, and three quick strikes brought doom to the soldier. Kross turned again, putting all his force into the swing of his sword, causing it to cleave straight through the remaining men. As they fell, the raven-haired boy rushed past.
Kross entered the room. There among the books, was Jay. The boy lay in a pool of his own blood, a wicked chest wound slowly killing him.
Kross' sword dropped. He ran to his brother's side and tried to stop the bleeding with his hands.
(Excerpt from Spiral Dragons)
“The crawling shadows rolled over the small apartment as Jason read the book, this book. The glistening letters whispered to him the secret to summoning unstoppable horrors. The words Malum Magia: Atheros Release! ”
A crash of thunder resounded throughout the small bookstore. The lights flickered ominously, before going out entirely. The ground lurched violently.
“An earthquake? In Cleveland?” Leo yelled, falling to the ground. Jio fell as well.
“Crap! Leo! Find something sturdy and get under it!” Jio ordered, his voice taking on an authoritative “big brother” tone. The brothers scrambled under the thick oak front desk as the shaking grew in intensity. The floor cracked open where the book had fallen. A seething mass of darkness shifted and swirled in the cracks.
“What the ****?” Leo asked.
“I don’t even-what?” Jio screamed in shock.
The formless mass let out a shriek as it shifted and warped, rising out of the cracks to form….something. There were no words to describe this creature, if it could be called such. The ever shifting form rumbled and changed, but the default form seemed to be a hellish mix of a lamprey, an octopus, and a scorpion. The boys looked at the thing and ran toward the door. The two weaved through the bookshelves, trying to break the creature’s line of sight. The two split up to confuse the thing. Suddenly a tendril lashed out! The appendage wrapped around Leo’s leg.
“Get off!” Leo kicked and struggled, to no avail. Slowly the abomination dragged him towards its mouth filled with rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth. The boy screamed in true terror.
.
BAM!!!
A heavy bookcase slammed into the creature, causing it to release its prey.
“Don’t touch my little brother.” Jio growled, standing behind the bookcase he had pushed over.
