Meg
Well-known Member
I wrote this for my school's newspaper and it went over really well, so I thought I'd share it with you guys. I hope you like it.:$
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
You should read this
Well now that I have your attention! Previously I would I had a topic for my articles. Well I think it was obvious I was just using the Rampage to whine about stuff that doesn’t matter at all. I’m not hiding behind any false pretenses this time. (Editor’s Note: Please ignore Meghan’s title.) I have no topic planned for this article. Heck, I’m writing it out of boredom during a study hall. I have no idea where this is going.
People, I have an AMAZING idea! I’m talking about Realistic Monopoly. It’s exactly like regular Monopoly except one key difference. It starts out with the banker lending the other players money. Then they play the game. At the end of the game, and this is the catch; everyone has to pay back their loans. Oh, but wait, there’s a 5,000% interest rate on the loan. So all the players have to give up all their houses, yes the red ones to. Oh but that’s still not enough, so the banker gets a card from the government that reads, “Get Out Of Jail Free, Pass Go and Collect 760 Billion Dollars.” That game is bound to be a favorite on game night.
Speaking of having money, or really a lack of it, I’d like to give you some advise on how to survive the recession. Tip number one, scam people. It’s the easiest way to make money. Think about it, if College Board charged shipping and handling to send SAT scores electronically they would make so much money. Would it be fair? Absolutely not!
Tip number two. Don’t spend any money. Grow your own food and live in a tent outside, so you don’t have to make payments on anything. Keep all your money buried somewhere. (Note: Be sure to know where “somewhere” is.)
Tip number three. This one’s really crazy. Save your money. Stay with me. I know it’s a radical idea, but let me explain. I knew I was going to need a laptop for college, so I saved up the money I made from working and bought a nice one. Imagine that. Not only that, but I still save (mostly) all the money I make and still have some Christmas and birthday money (my birthday is in December) left over to spend. If you spend and save wisely you should be in good shape. Ah, who am I kidding? That’s a stupid idea. Go with tip one or two.
Well I think I’m done with this article. Actually you know what? I feel like I’ve betrayed all of you. To make it up to all of the people who thought I was actually going to talk about Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups I’m going to say this:
People that run stop signs really make me mad. Especially the people that claim they didn’t see it. Really? You couldn’t see a bright red sign that says STOP on it? I have a theory that more people would stop at a stop sign if it had something profound written on it like, “This sign says stop!” Or how about something that doesn’t make sense like “Snowmen like hot soup!” Heck, how about a fun fact like “Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are great!” What a segue! Now that I’m on topic I’d like to end this article with the words of a really smart guy, “Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are proof that God exists.” And you know what? I agree.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
You should read this
Well now that I have your attention! Previously I would I had a topic for my articles. Well I think it was obvious I was just using the Rampage to whine about stuff that doesn’t matter at all. I’m not hiding behind any false pretenses this time. (Editor’s Note: Please ignore Meghan’s title.) I have no topic planned for this article. Heck, I’m writing it out of boredom during a study hall. I have no idea where this is going.
People, I have an AMAZING idea! I’m talking about Realistic Monopoly. It’s exactly like regular Monopoly except one key difference. It starts out with the banker lending the other players money. Then they play the game. At the end of the game, and this is the catch; everyone has to pay back their loans. Oh, but wait, there’s a 5,000% interest rate on the loan. So all the players have to give up all their houses, yes the red ones to. Oh but that’s still not enough, so the banker gets a card from the government that reads, “Get Out Of Jail Free, Pass Go and Collect 760 Billion Dollars.” That game is bound to be a favorite on game night.
Speaking of having money, or really a lack of it, I’d like to give you some advise on how to survive the recession. Tip number one, scam people. It’s the easiest way to make money. Think about it, if College Board charged shipping and handling to send SAT scores electronically they would make so much money. Would it be fair? Absolutely not!
Tip number two. Don’t spend any money. Grow your own food and live in a tent outside, so you don’t have to make payments on anything. Keep all your money buried somewhere. (Note: Be sure to know where “somewhere” is.)
Tip number three. This one’s really crazy. Save your money. Stay with me. I know it’s a radical idea, but let me explain. I knew I was going to need a laptop for college, so I saved up the money I made from working and bought a nice one. Imagine that. Not only that, but I still save (mostly) all the money I make and still have some Christmas and birthday money (my birthday is in December) left over to spend. If you spend and save wisely you should be in good shape. Ah, who am I kidding? That’s a stupid idea. Go with tip one or two.
Well I think I’m done with this article. Actually you know what? I feel like I’ve betrayed all of you. To make it up to all of the people who thought I was actually going to talk about Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups I’m going to say this:
People that run stop signs really make me mad. Especially the people that claim they didn’t see it. Really? You couldn’t see a bright red sign that says STOP on it? I have a theory that more people would stop at a stop sign if it had something profound written on it like, “This sign says stop!” Or how about something that doesn’t make sense like “Snowmen like hot soup!” Heck, how about a fun fact like “Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are great!” What a segue! Now that I’m on topic I’d like to end this article with the words of a really smart guy, “Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are proof that God exists.” And you know what? I agree.
