Opinions on Online Dating

[Stylish Nero]

Has anyone ever done it or tried doing it?

What is your opinion on it (whether you tried or not)? Have any experiences (whether personal or from stories from others you heard)?

How would you compare it to what it actually is like (or what you know about it) versus from what you hear about in ads and the media?


Know most of all would you say its more preferred over getting a date in real life?

 

[Enigma]

That's how I found somebody a long time ago, when I was 18 or 19. I personally don't have good experiences with it, because I eventually found out that the person I was interested in had some psychological issues. One time I simply forgot to log on to Windows Live Messenger -- even though I told her I couldn't be online all the time, I had a lot of school work and other work to do, and I told her I probably couldn't be online that time -- but she went bonkers nonetheless. Just because I was offline *one time*. I had noticed she was very clingy, but I thought nothing of it... guess I was a fool.

But, that problem is probably mine and hers, not that of online dating. Still, I think there's many weirdos out there on sites like that. Talking on the internet is often easy, there's less of an emotional connection because there's body language missing. People also can often search for exactly the right words and think carefully about everything, when in real life that might not always be possible. So in essence, you can make yourself look better than you are, less troubled, etc etc. But even that is different per person: some people don't think that much when they type, and I'm sure you and I both have had problems with people who were very clearly emotional on this forum and couldn't hide it. So in that sense it's a gamble.

I haven't actually ever dated in real life... I've never found anyone in my direct environment who was truly nice and didn't just 'act nice'... most people are just very matter-of-fact about everything, I've found. But, I don't go out much, and I suppose that makes it seem worse than it is.
Sooo... I dunno if it's better or worse than in real life, but I'd say there's many people who pretend to be somebody they're not, and you have to be careful. But I know it's possible to get good relationships out of online dating -- in fact, my mother found a really nice guy after her and my dad's divorce. They're still together and happy! It may be a gamble, but you've also got a bigger chance of spotting somebody who you feel attracted to. It's so easy on the internet -- you can find people who live miles away, even countries away. There's many people to choose from, so I'd certainly give it a shot!

 

[Stylish Nero]

That's how I found somebody a long time ago, when I was 18 or 19. I personally don't have good experiences with it, because I eventually found out that the person I was interested in had some psychological issues. One time I simply forgot to log on to Windows Live Messenger -- even though I told her I couldn't be online all the time, I had a lot of school work and other work to do, and I told her I probably couldn't be online that time -- but she went bonkers nonetheless. Just because I was offline *one time*. I had noticed she was very clingy, but I thought nothing of it... guess I was a fool.

But, that problem is probably mine and hers, not that of online dating. Still, I think there's many weirdos out there on sites like that. Talking on the internet is often easy, there's less of an emotional connection because there's body language missing. People also can often search for exactly the right words and think carefully about everything, when in real life that might not always be possible. So in essence, you can make yourself look better than you are, less troubled, etc etc. But even that is different per person: some people don't think that much when they type, and I'm sure you and I both have had problems with highly emotional people on this forum. So in that sense it's a gamble.

I haven't actually ever dated in real life... I've never found anyone in my direct environment who was truly nice and didn't just 'act nice'... most people are just very matter-of-fact about everything, I've found. But, I don't go out much, and I suppose that makes it seem worse than it is.
Sooo... I dunno if it's better or worse than in real life, but I'd say there's many people who pretend to be somebody they're not, and you have to be careful. But I know it's possible to get good relationships out of online dating -- in fact, my mother found a really nice guy after her and my dad's divorce. They're still together and happy! It may be a gamble, but you've also got a bigger chance of spotting somebody who you feel attracted to. It's so easy on the internet -- you can find people who live miles away, even countries away. There's many people to choose from, so I'd certainly give it a shot!

What website did you use and did they made you pay to use basic services like being able to message people?

 

[Dante's Stalker]

Nope. Maybe back in the day when the internet and online dating was brand new, you could find someone decent. But nowadays? Hell naw. Too many deceitful people.

 

[Angel]

Online dating sites just led me to complete nutters.

But I met Steve online via a forum for SEO, so does that kind of count?

 

[Enigma]

What website did you use and did they made you pay to use basic services like being able to message people?

I don't remember the particular website, but I think it was one that doesn't exist anymore. It didn't ask you to pay for anything, it was free with the option of paying for extras. But I don't think such websites even exist anymore nowadays... well, maybe Tinder is similar to it, but it seems to be filled with fake profiles and old profiles.
So like I said, it's a gamble, possibly even more so today than it was back then. But then, you only have to get lucky once -- find just one person's profile -- and you could be set for life. And it's probably not that hard to find somebody if you're social enough. But I wouldn't know for sure; like I said, I don't have any experience with modern dating sites aside from Tinder... and that's not even a site, just an app.

 

[Wuodan]

All of my relationships begin online so far but in traditional online dating style, I had only one. It was around 3 years ago, it was originally an anonymous chatting website. I saw her profile randomly, then I found out she had a blog. After lurking it and seeing that our mindset is alike, I started chatting with her and eventually went to a date.

It was a very cute experience actually and she admitted having a lot of fun. I, however, was a bit bored. Her attitude towards me felt too casual, she seemed to be too into the date and I also realized she was a lot younger -both mentally and physically- than what I guessed. In the end I gave her a hug and left. After an hour or so she texted me that she was going to reject a boy that likes her and I texted back "I think you shouldn't."

Not the best thing to say I know but I just didn't want to pretend like I liked her. It would end up a lot more heart breaking. Then we've never seen each other again.

I don't think forming a relationship online is weird. On the contrary, it can be more natural and healthy as long as it develops slowly. Straightforward online dating though, feels like a gamble and kinda meant to be weird. I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[La Femme Fatale]

I think it just depends on how you use it.

I used to chat with people often online... but I got irritated because I was investing way too much time in people who'd shy away when the discussion of meeting in person came up. I've even been stood up by a couple guys who I suspect did not resemble their profile picture.

Now I simply use it as a platform to meet people with the same interests. I won't spend a whole lot of time getting to know them online... I usually just straight up offer to meet for drinks that coming weekend and if they're game, great. If they're not 'ready' then that's fine too - I just can't waste my time anymore. Met quite a few decent people this way.

 

[V]

I've never used a dating site or any kind of dating thing.

I was thinking most people probably lie about things on their dating profiles, otherwise as VW said, the personal information is pretty public.

I've met up with people I know online for dates, though. People I already knew from online communities. From that perspective it's fine. Dating sites just not my thing.

 

[Chancey289]

My best friend met his fiancee on a dating website. With him working so much, he didn't have the time to get out and traditionally date. It worked out for him.

I also know of other people who found significant others through the internet. We live in a digital world where even the foundations of relationships have changed.

As long as you be vigilant to avoid the weirdos and such, like real life, you should be fine. All in all, I have really nothing against online dating sites.

 

[Director Bison]

i'm cool with people use it i could see it working

but i think if i ever get a date i should man up and ask who every she ends up being to her face


now if only i had the balls to ask a girl

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

Online dating can work but it has two fundamental flaws.

1) people are not honest. In irl dating people try to show their better side but you can usually pick out what theyre compensating for pretty quick. it becomes dishonest when it's in the form of a profile that doesn't even show what you really look like and every detail of your lif could potentially be fabricated. Nobody is introspective enough to be 100% honest but in online dating I don't think most people are even close to honest about who they are. Be ready when you ask about a detail for them to go "actually im..."

2) when arguments happen, and they do, it's easier to isolate and shut out the other person. It's easier to not talk things through when you're mad and vice versa.

Irl dating is less convenient, and it's harder to hide your warts, but I'm personally of the mind that those things are for the better if you can get out there and try. People can be more forgiving than you might think if you give them a chance.

That said, online dating does have its success stories.

Source(s): had a thing for a while with a girl I met on XBL and also dabbled on Tinder for a few weeks once.

 

[Enigma]

Yeah, I think it's a good idea to have a video chat fairly soon with the person you 'met' online. Their body language really does help you determine who you're dealing with. In summary, I'd say that online dating is a gamble, because people can make themselves look better than they are sometimes. Aside from that, like cheez said, it's easier to shut out the other person if there's a problem. I'm sure you've seen that show Catfish or some snippets of it -- it clearly shows you need to be careful, not to be too hasty to make an emotional connection; to just be skeptical.

But like I said, there's probably nothing wrong with finding people online rather than face to face. I had no issues with it, really, and my problems with it were due to my own stupidity and denial at the time. As for personal information being public there, I personally don't care. People put their personal information everywhere online, and even if you haven't publicized it, it could somehow be online somewhere. Besides, personal information is not *that* personal... I find that people use the term 'personal information' far too much as some kind of buzzword to get themselves scared. People are not going to be able to hack stuff just because they know your last name or that you like cats. Even if they could, they probably have no interest in it. This is similar to the hysteria about Facebook privacy... I don't have any important personal information laid out on Facebook, how much info you supply is all within your own hands, and it's not going to do any harm anyway. If it did do harm, websites wouldn't include it. Simple. Just like when people say 'aspartame is dangerous'... no it is not. In fact, it has been tested (by trustworthy people) just like all other additives and found nonharmful unless you digest insane quantities of it each day, which is impossible. Point is, if it were that harmful, it would not be part of food and drinks.

But anyway, online dating is a gamble. But then, so is dating in real life. Sometimes it's actually easier to think about the connotations behind certain words, if you can look at them online and really toss them around in your head. So I think online dating has its upsides and downsides just like dating in person. What you need to figure out is what upsides and downsides are most important to you personally. Weigh your options. Think. That's all, really.