Meg
Well-known Member
Devils Don’t Cry, Except on Christmas
“DANTEEEEEEE!” Nero yelled up the stairs of Devil May Cry. They were supposed to be going to Christmas mass, but it was difficult motivating themselves to go. Kyrie had talked Nero into it, and he figured if he had to suffer through a long mass, then he might as well bring Dante along to suffer to.
Dante stomped down the steps. “Why am I coming again?”
“Because I promised to buy you a pizza.”
“Yeah and if Lady’s present to herself wasn’t to take all the money I owed her buy force I could just buy my own pizza!”
“Well you can’t, so you’re coming.” Nero snickered.
“You are enjoying this way to much.” Dante punched Nero playfully and smirked. “Come on.” he sighed.
They arrived at the church a few minutes later. Kyrie had saved them a seat. “Wow, Dante” Kyrie smiled “way to get into the Christmas spirit!”
“What?”
“You’re red coat.” she grinned.
Nero caught on quickly. “Yeah, all you need are some green stockings and you’re be all decked out with Christmas colors!” they both laughed while Dante glared at them.
They sat down and soon after the mass started. Dante sat with his feet up and Nero fell asleep almost instantly. Kyrie sang the opening hymn happily not caring that the two weren’t paying attention. At least they were there.
Dante was about to nod off as well. The only good thing about church is how soothing the priest’s voice was. He closed his eyes and right when he was about to fall asleep-
“WAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Dante and Nero jerked awake and sat up. A rather large women with three kids crammed into their pew without an ‘excuse me.’ What was once nice and roomy was now crowded. The middle child sat next to Dante. He stared up at him in wonder. Dante noticed the kid, but pretended to not see him.
Finally the kid spoke up, loudly. “Are you Santa?”
“What?” Dante whispered.
“You have white her and are wearing a red coat! You’re Santa.”
“Um…no I’m not.” Dante eyed Nero who had started laughing.
“Yes you are!” the kid was getting really excited. The mother was to busy cursing out one of her other children to notice her youngest crawl over Dante and sit on Nero’s lap.
“Uh….” Nero wasn’t sure what to say. Kyrie was trying not to laugh.
“Hey! Hey!” the middle kid started yelling. “It’s SANTA!”
“What! No!” Dante tried to quiet the kid. He looked around hoping no one else heard. To his relief almost everyone was either daydreaming or asleep.
“Uhh…” Nero nudged Kyrie as the baby started to grab at his hair. “OW!” He picked up the baby and put him down on the pew, but he somehow got a grip on Nero’s hair again. “Ahh!” he cried as the baby pulled. “Dante!!!” he hissed.
“I SAID! Its SANTA!!!” the kid screamed and pointed at Dante. This got everyone’s attention. All the kids in the church turned to Dante’s direction and started whispering.
“Uhhh…….”
“Get off of me!” Nero cried.
All the kids stood up and started screaming in joy as they ran toward ‘Santa.’ Dante screamed in terror and ran out of the church with dozens of kids, and their terrified parents, following him.
The large woman finally realized what was going on. “HEY!” she rounded on Nero. “Get your hands off my kid!” she grabbed her baby, who took a couple strands of Nero’s hair with him. She slapped Nero across the face and stormed out of the church with her other children.
Nero rubbed his face and Kyrie sighed. The priest hadn’t even stopped. They went back to Devil May Cry where they found Dante. He was sitting behind his desk grumbling. He looked awful like he had been torn to bits.
“Kids suck.” he said and got up. “Where’s my pizza?” Dante asked Nero the moment he came in. “I’m gonna need more than one after that.”
“Um…ok I’ll get you two.”
“With extra cheese!”
“Sure.”
“Good.” Dante sat back down again and continued grumbling. Nero smiled as he left with Kyrie to go get a pizza. He thought of something and stopped. A huge smirk spread across his face and without turning he said,
“Merry Christmas, Dante.” and then ran out of the shop laughing right as Dante hurled a book at his head.
“DANTEEEEEEE!” Nero yelled up the stairs of Devil May Cry. They were supposed to be going to Christmas mass, but it was difficult motivating themselves to go. Kyrie had talked Nero into it, and he figured if he had to suffer through a long mass, then he might as well bring Dante along to suffer to.
Dante stomped down the steps. “Why am I coming again?”
“Because I promised to buy you a pizza.”
“Yeah and if Lady’s present to herself wasn’t to take all the money I owed her buy force I could just buy my own pizza!”
“Well you can’t, so you’re coming.” Nero snickered.
“You are enjoying this way to much.” Dante punched Nero playfully and smirked. “Come on.” he sighed.
They arrived at the church a few minutes later. Kyrie had saved them a seat. “Wow, Dante” Kyrie smiled “way to get into the Christmas spirit!”
“What?”
“You’re red coat.” she grinned.
Nero caught on quickly. “Yeah, all you need are some green stockings and you’re be all decked out with Christmas colors!” they both laughed while Dante glared at them.
They sat down and soon after the mass started. Dante sat with his feet up and Nero fell asleep almost instantly. Kyrie sang the opening hymn happily not caring that the two weren’t paying attention. At least they were there.
Dante was about to nod off as well. The only good thing about church is how soothing the priest’s voice was. He closed his eyes and right when he was about to fall asleep-
“WAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Dante and Nero jerked awake and sat up. A rather large women with three kids crammed into their pew without an ‘excuse me.’ What was once nice and roomy was now crowded. The middle child sat next to Dante. He stared up at him in wonder. Dante noticed the kid, but pretended to not see him.
Finally the kid spoke up, loudly. “Are you Santa?”
“What?” Dante whispered.
“You have white her and are wearing a red coat! You’re Santa.”
“Um…no I’m not.” Dante eyed Nero who had started laughing.
“Yes you are!” the kid was getting really excited. The mother was to busy cursing out one of her other children to notice her youngest crawl over Dante and sit on Nero’s lap.
“Uh….” Nero wasn’t sure what to say. Kyrie was trying not to laugh.
“Hey! Hey!” the middle kid started yelling. “It’s SANTA!”
“What! No!” Dante tried to quiet the kid. He looked around hoping no one else heard. To his relief almost everyone was either daydreaming or asleep.
“Uhh…” Nero nudged Kyrie as the baby started to grab at his hair. “OW!” He picked up the baby and put him down on the pew, but he somehow got a grip on Nero’s hair again. “Ahh!” he cried as the baby pulled. “Dante!!!” he hissed.
“I SAID! Its SANTA!!!” the kid screamed and pointed at Dante. This got everyone’s attention. All the kids in the church turned to Dante’s direction and started whispering.
“Uhhh…….”
“Get off of me!” Nero cried.
All the kids stood up and started screaming in joy as they ran toward ‘Santa.’ Dante screamed in terror and ran out of the church with dozens of kids, and their terrified parents, following him.
The large woman finally realized what was going on. “HEY!” she rounded on Nero. “Get your hands off my kid!” she grabbed her baby, who took a couple strands of Nero’s hair with him. She slapped Nero across the face and stormed out of the church with her other children.
Nero rubbed his face and Kyrie sighed. The priest hadn’t even stopped. They went back to Devil May Cry where they found Dante. He was sitting behind his desk grumbling. He looked awful like he had been torn to bits.
“Kids suck.” he said and got up. “Where’s my pizza?” Dante asked Nero the moment he came in. “I’m gonna need more than one after that.”
“Um…ok I’ll get you two.”
“With extra cheese!”
“Sure.”
“Good.” Dante sat back down again and continued grumbling. Nero smiled as he left with Kyrie to go get a pizza. He thought of something and stopped. A huge smirk spread across his face and without turning he said,
“Merry Christmas, Dante.” and then ran out of the shop laughing right as Dante hurled a book at his head.
