What Are You Thinking?

[LordOfDarkness]

@Angel

Just need to replace the plug but will also call out an electrician to check over the socket as well.

My girlfriend actually said go check on the washing and I instantly smelt burning when I walked into the kitchen. We'd had it on for about 45 minutes so really lucky that it was spotted when it was or could have been a house fire like you said.

 

[Angel]

@Angel

Just need to replace the plug but will also call out an electrician to check over the socket as well.

My girlfriend actually said go check on the washing and I instantly smelt burning when I walked into the kitchen. We'd had it on for about 45 minutes so really lucky that it was spotted when it was or could have been a house fire like you said.

Well I think I can safely speak for everyone here when I say we're very glad there wasn't a fire and that you both are ok.

@therogis - You are not the first person on the internet to declare love for me recently. Some random girl on Among Us asked my 9 year old son to be her boyfriend and then when he said no, she immediately messaged me and said she was in love with me. Sadly for all of you, Steve was the first person to ask me out over the internet so I guess it's going to have to stay that way. That and the legally-binding 14 years of marriage...

 

[therogis]

@therogis - You are not the first person on the internet to declare love for me recently. Some random girl on Among Us asked my 9 year old son to be her boyfriend and then when he said no, she immediately messaged me and said she was in love with me. Sadly for all of you, Steve was the first person to ask me out over the internet so I guess it's going to have to stay that way. That and the legally-binding 14 years of marriage...

WAIT
WHAT

YOU AND @Steve

ARE


MARRIED

You must be registered to view media

RLY?

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

@therogis I'm so used to everyone knowing that that it never occurred to me someone didn't. I'm going to assume I wasn't the only one.

CT: Torn between really wanting to take Kaz to the park and not wanting to freeze my ass off.

 

[Angel]

@therogis I just assume everyone knows...there are those who still think I'm a guy, so that always makes for an interesting spin on the whole thing.

 

[Foxtrot94]

Well, Conte's out. Gg. Now we'll get a tool who'll be more focused on caring about the banks than the people. I think we're ****ed.

 

[Ryuuou]

impimpimpimpimpimppppppeachment.

You must be registered to view links

 

[Shadow]

Who knew "I don't want to turn this novel into a lecture on Victorian feminism because people often get it wrong and I don't want to put something out that adds to the misinformation" could be a controversial opinion...

 

[therogis]

@therogis I'm so used to everyone knowing that that it never occurred to me someone didn't. I'm going to assume I wasn't the only one.

CT: Torn between really wanting to take Kaz to the park and not wanting to freeze my ass off.

@therogis I just assume everyone knows...there are those who still think I'm a guy, so that always makes for an interesting spin on the whole thing.

I will never recover from this revelation. Never ever. Ever. Never. Ever. Perkele.

---

My friend has had a crisis lately.

I am socially immature and unable to feel empathy towards my closest ones. I've been told by an expert that, with my background, it's most likely a defense mechanism since it applies only to my closest relationships, but knowing the reasons for it doesn't really help when there's a need for emotional support, which I cannot offer.

Now it seems she's a bit better. I think I'll ask her if she'd like me to cook for her or something. Hopefully that's not an insult, I really don't know. Is it?

 

[Shadow]

@therogis I have extremely minimal empathy, always have and probably always will (except on bad bpd days where everything gets weird), and idk if this will help you, but I've found compassion works best when it comes to helping friends in need? Ask if they want you to listen to them or if there's anything you can do, show that you're there for them, even if you can't fully understand it, and that you care. It's still a form of emotional support, you're just not echoing their emotions. (Which some people seem to really like? Most of the other low empathy people I've met have talked about being the therapist friend in their group because their friends like that they listen without getting over-emotional, so I guess it does something for them??) If empathy is something you feel is absolutely essential, then...I find it helps to remember how a similar event made me feel and use that as a touchstone? Obviously everyone's different but remembering how you felt might give you a vague idea how your loved ones are feeling. But really, reacting with kindness and letting the other person decide how they'd like to be treated/what they'd like you to do is generally the most useful thing to do in those situations. (In my opinion.) Best of luck, though! <3 And hope your friend is feeling better soon.

 

[therogis]

@therogis I have extremely minimal empathy, always have and probably always will (except on bad bpd days where everything gets weird), and idk if this will help you, but I've found compassion works best when it comes to helping friends in need? Ask if they want you to listen to them or if there's anything you can do, show that you're there for them, even if you can't fully understand it, and that you care. It's still a form of emotional support, you're just not echoing their emotions. (Which some people seem to really like? Most of the other low empathy people I've met have talked about being the therapist friend in their group because their friends like that they listen without getting over-emotional, so I guess it does something for them??) If empathy is something you feel is absolutely essential, then...I find it helps to remember how a similar event made me feel and use that as a touchstone? Obviously everyone's different but remembering how you felt might give you a vague idea how your loved ones are feeling. But really, reacting with kindness and letting the other person decide how they'd like to be treated/what they'd like you to do is generally the most useful thing to do in those situations. (In my opinion.) Best of luck, though! <3 And hope your friend is feeling better soon.

I've been honest with her since the beginning of our friendship. As always. I've told her I'm practically uncapable of empathy, but I can listen to her and if the problem is rather practical than emotional, I am happy to offer any solutions I can come up with. But this crisis is not practical, it is about a very dear person of hers who recently passed away for unnatural causes.

I can't tell her "I know how you feel", it would be a lie. I cannot tell her "I understand", because it would be a lie as well. I never lie for a friend.
Luckily she seems to appreciate my honesty even though it's about a weakness of mine. She seems to be fine with me just listening to her, not being able to say much, but just being there and offering her everyday help (such as cooking or buying her chocolate) if she needs it.

It isn't long since I had a damn half-a-year-long ****storm/smear campaign around me simply because I tried to help a friend in need with a rational and problem-solving approach. (Note: it wasn't related to this friend with the current crisis, this previous one has been thrown to my emotional dumpster a long time ago) I don't blame them for their reaction. Even though it was exaggerated, I understand that even while I'm really trying to help, my ways to help people can appear cold-hearted and even arrogant when there are emotions involved in the situation and I'm just asking them "have you thought about doing it this way". I know that most people expect emotional support from a friendship. Just that I'm not a comforter, I'm a problem-solver.

I'm trying to fix it though... like I said, it's a defense mechanism, not only a matter of personality, and through therapy, I am able to work with it. Not only for the sake of others but for myself as well.

Most likely it'll take years tho. It's not easy for me to show open emotions, being a person who grew in an environment where showing happiness, pain, sorrow, or rage most likely results to being insulted, threatened or chased with a knife. It was the same thing if I dared to ask my caretaker about their feelings if they seemed to be upset. "None of your business, little f*ckin wh*re"

 

[Foxtrot94]

It is downright scary how relevant 1984 is to today's society.

 

[therogis]

It's damn hard to write from a male child's perspective in an authentic way. My male characters tend to be too feminine anyway, and now the age of the character adds some extra challenge...

Well, I guess that's why I'm writing this, to practice this POV.

(If anyone here has any tips on writing a 12yo male, feel free to hit me)

 

[V's patron]

Thinking about Big Bang theory and the nature of ongoing storytelling in sitcoms.

It's easier to rewatch now that it ended. I actually have more sympathy for the back and forth aspects now I'm close to being 30 years old. Adulthood can be meandering.

But watching these screw-ups figure their crap out in the last seasons is touching.

 

[therogis]

It's 7 pm and I could go to sleep already. Damn I'm tired x__x And my eyes hurt.

+ "Maturity is when you have the power to destroy someone who did you wrong but you just breathe, walk away, and let life take care of them." What a wonderful saying. Luckily she hasn't found my phone number or my Facebook account even though I was told she's been trying.

++

You must be registered to view links

. Round two. Fight! Gonna stream it soon...

 

[V's patron]

Trevor Noah was right.

The birthday song does feel like a funeral march.

 

[therogis]

Sweater or no sweater today? *checks outside temperature* Let's make it two sweaters...

 

[berto]

Really? Nobody? Usually I get at least one person a year but I guess traffic is not that high right now.

@therogis I just assume everyone knows...there are those who still think I'm a guy, so that always makes for an interesting spin on the whole thing.

I didn't know, either. I don't ask. Back when I first started posting here there was this girl with with a Latin username. I struck up a conversation in Spanish but she really, adamantly, did not want to talk about anything personal online. I don't think she stayed very long. After that I thought it best to not pry into people's personal lives.

 

[Angel]

I didn't know, either. I don't ask. Back when I first started posting here there was this girl with with a Latin username. I struck up a conversation in Spanish but she really, adamantly, did not want to talk about anything personal online. I don't think she stayed very long. After that I thought it best to not pry into people's personal lives.

I learnt the hard way to be less open online, although on our own sites it's different. Any other site, forum or whatever and I'm pretty much a closed book. Put me in a zoom meeting and I won't even have the screen on, let alone speak.

Speaking of, I have a zoom meeting tonight. Already getting anxious...

 

[Rebel Dynasty]

Still trying to process how I feel about an uncle's passing a few days ago. Mainly because though I've known him since I was six, this uncle was my now-former stepdad's brother...and considering my estrangement from him and my mom (passed in October), I've been pretty distant with everyone from that side of the family. Not that they did anything wrong, and distance played its part long before I cut ties; but it is one of those strange things where internally yet again, I grieve. Yet, I don't know if I really have the right, when I haven't seen them in a long time.

Mostly I figure I'm grieving for not having been able to maintain a proper familial relationship with them.